Why You Should Question Yourself

posted 7th November 2008    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Molly, Tips & Tools

I imagine that several readers will look at the title of this post and exclaim, “Question myself?  Why would I ever do that?  I have all the answers!”  And you know what?  I agree with them!

By suggesting that you question yourself, I’m definitely not telling you to doubt yourself. (Come on- I know we’re just beginning this journey together- but doubt?  That doesn’t sound like me!  It’s not an emotion I suggest wallowing in very often.) In fact, I think doubting yourself can be highly toxic. If you make it a habit, it shadows every new thought or idea that pops into your pretty head. It poisons new paths before you even get the chance to explore them. Are we clear, friend?  I’m not suggesting doubt, just questioning…

How do I Question Myself?  And Why?

I have a 3 step process for questioning myself that is consistently enlightening.  I pull out the stops when something in my life feels “off”.  Give it a try next time you feel askew and let me know if it produces spot on answers for you as well.

Step One:  Listen to Your Body

Our bodies are amazing tools.  Mine is especially good at telling me when something feels wrong or weird.  My particular symptom is “gut ache”.  I feel slightly nauseous and often unconsciously grab my stomach when I’m discussing or thinking about something that makes me uncomfortable.  Sometimes I have no idea that that it makes me uncomfortable until I tune into my body.

So, first thing to simply listen to your body.  See if you can figure out how your body tells you “Warning! Danger! You’re pushing it Girl! I do not like this!”.

Everyone is different, so you’ll have your own unique body warning.  Some symptoms I’ve heard from others include faint headaches, body tingling, clamminess, site specific itching or “nervous pee”.  (And have I got a funny story about nervous pee- but we’ll save it for another time!)  Once you’ve identified the symptoms, continue with steps 2 & 3 every time they appear.

Step Two: Ask yourself the Questions

Grab a piece of paper or your journal and start writing down questions.  Start each phrase with “QUESTION”. Why? I’m not sure, but it helps me focus every time!  Here are a few effective questions to get you started, though each specific situation will call for its own set of musings.

Some people like to list all the questions first and then move on to Step Three.  Others, like me, prefer to write one question, then answer it, then ask another question, then answer it, and on and on.  I continue to ask questions until my body relaxes and my stomach unknots itself.

In my experience- asking yourself questions is most effective when you write them down.  Don’t skip this step and think you can get the bang for your buck by just thinking about questions and answers.  Write it down.  Pen and paper.   You can do it.

Step Three: Answer your Questions Honestly

No one is grading  your answers.  In fact,  no one will ever see them unless you choose to share.  Don’t worry about complete sentences, punctuation, or even making much sense.  Just give yourself permission to answer from the very core of you.  It’s fairly mind blowing what can pour out of your pen when you let it.

Here’s how I do it: I look at the question I wrote down, say it out loud & then start writing down whatever pops into my mind for an entire minute or two.  Here’s a very personal example from my own journal dated December 2, 2007.

QUESTION: Why does researching Life Coaches make me feel overwhelmed?

ANSWER: Hmmmm– other life coaches websites make my own interest seem minimal or trivial perhaps or lacking in a certain “mysticalness”.  Seems like they might not be the kind of people I could connect with.  Lots of money I don’t have for the certification process.  Frou-frou and I’m not frou-frou.  Are you taken seriously by anyone? You’re a what?  So, without being a life coach, can I do what I want to do…  What am I? I’m an organizer, motivator, teammate, entrepreneur, force to be reckoned with, wellness expert, big sister you never had, more in your face, funny, young, practical, whimsical, hip, outrageous, sharp, intuitive…

Get it?  I went on for several pages with more question and answers, but I’ll spare you the torture of the workings of my inner mind!

photo credit: tj scenes’

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