Tell Negative Nellie to Shut Up

posted 15th March 2009    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Molly, Tips & Tools

I know this is a blog faux pas, but I apologize for slacking on posting.

Why have I been slacking? Good question.

I could list several reasons “why” that will impress you since I’m the big cheese over here: I’ve been asked to guest blog on so many sites I can’t keep up with my own, I’ve been practicing Vipassana mediation 2 hours daily, or I’m taking the Tim Ferris approach to doing as little as possible & still making oodles of money.

Unfortunately, none of those are true.

So, why haven’t I been writing?  It’s pretty cut & dry.  I was letting Negative Nellie talk me down.

She was all up in my face with her “Why are you wasting so much effort on this silly blog?” and “No one cares what you have to say”.  She was whispering in my ear, “F..A..I..L..U..R..E” and “Who are you to think you can create something out of nothing?”

The sad part?  I was listening.  In spite of myself, I was listening.

Now, I know tricks to separate myself from my inner critic. I mean, I teach them to others for gods sake.

Point is: I know a few of the tricks that can help silence your inner critic.  But these last few weeks, I have let NN run a steamroller right over me, in spite of cognitively knowing what to do.  I wallowed, I whined, I lost some of the sparkle.

I’m done. Today is the turning point & my return to an optimistic, productive state.

This morning I gave Nellie a mental hug for trying to protect me from unknown change & rejection and then told her to “Shut the f&*k up.”

“The key to change…is to let go of fear.”  –Rosanne Cash

I’ll let you know how it goes…

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Comments (20)

20 Responses to “Tell Negative Nellie to Shut Up”

  • carrie Says:
    March 15th, 2009 at 11:03 am

    LOVE this! Thanks for the reminder. You are so friggin cute btw. Can’t wait to take one of your classes one of these days soon…

  • Deanna Says:
    March 15th, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    Thanks much for a fabulous post – spot on with what so many of us deal with.

    I appreciate your authenticity and honesty. Thanks for helping me become more ALIVE today!

  • StephanieCorkerIrwin Says:
    March 15th, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    Brilliant Post! It’s not hard to let the NN into your life in the downturn economy. The best part of all – the ones who are most creative, most innovative, most BOLD right now…will pave the way for the brightest future. The world NEEDS everything you have to offer! I appreciate it.
    PS – thanks for the link love:)

  • Molly Hoyne Says:
    March 16th, 2009 at 8:52 am

    @carrie @deanna @stephanie
    Thanks ladies- I don’t want to be one of those bloggers that seem invincible. This is life- we’re all on the same journey!

    Reading a fabulous book right now (Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman) that’s really shedding some light on all the science behind the “voice in our head” and what do to about it. Look for a post on it soon!

  • erin Says:
    March 16th, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    I think it’s just as important to talk about Negative Nellie as it is to talk about the cool, positive ways we can change our lives. The sad truth is that NN will be there waiting for all of us, trying to tear us down. She took over my head yesterday in a very undiplomatic way… so I exercised. Suck on some endorphins, NN! HA!
    P.S. You rock! Some people seem to prefer drama and negativity and they will never “get it”. Let them unsubscribe, there are far more positive people looking to change their lives in good ways… and it’s our job to help you spread the word!

  • Becky Says:
    March 16th, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    I look forward to your postings and get excited when I see a new one! Can’t wait to hear about the new book you are reading…

  • Cathy Says:
    March 17th, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    My NN has been dragging me down for the past week. It doesn’t help the fact that I’m turning 30 next week..boohoo right but it’s time to stop this non-sense. I’m done with mourning. I like what you said, “Today is the turning point & my return to an optimistic, productive state”.

  • Molly Hoyne Says:
    March 17th, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    @Cathy
    Happy early birthday! Glad you hit your turning point as well.

    Will we see you at ReFresh sometime? It’s shaping up to be an awesome, inspiring group of women!

  • Lacey Lybecker Says:
    March 18th, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    Fabulous ReFresh session this eve! Loved learning how to tune out your NN and other people’s NNs when they start to creep into your best life.

  • Star Says:
    March 23rd, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    Wow! Great post… I have been telling Nelly to back off for a nearly a week myself… And it feels good! I have been keeping a journal of sorts for about three weeks, I write only positive, inspirational quotes… I’m finding this to have a positive impact on my mental negatives. I want to only have happy, if I can and this different type of journaling is working so far for me.Smiles!
    “Happy happy Joy joy” – Ren & Stimpy

  • Molly Hoyne Says:
    March 24th, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    @Star Love it! I’m a sucker for an inspirational quote as well. Journaling about what you are grateful for also is a great mood booster.

  • Annemarie Juhlian Says:
    March 26th, 2009 at 9:37 am

    Vulnerability rocks! Thank you for being transparents – it is a wonderful and crazy time!

  • Marina Says:
    March 26th, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    Thanks for your honesty. I’m usually pretty up and on, but when I let down NN takes over. I like the shut the f#*k up idea of smacking her off my shoulder so I can move on with my plans rather than hers. You are a joy. You go girl.

  • Laura Totten Says:
    March 27th, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Ah- you are so fabulous Molly! Thanks for being honest and spreading wisdom and inspiration with your wit. My life is brighter because of you and your blog :)

  • Molly Hoyne Says:
    April 13th, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    All– Honesty is refreshing isn’t it? Don’t be afraid of it- even out there in the big bad world. It’s authentic & inspiring when you don’t try to put on the “social self”…

  • Loving Local Food » Blog Archive » West Seattle Herald - Soup for the Season Says:
    April 17th, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    [...] food writer, I’m not an expert, I don’t know what I’m doing. I needed to tell my Negative Nellie to shut up! I enjoy food; I enjoy creating food; I enjoy sharing the experience of food; I enjoy [...]

  • Ralu Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    I'm going through a Nellie-period right now so your post was really helpful. Along with all the recommended readings. :P I'm really glad I found Stratejoy. It's the first step to redesigning my life just the way I've always envisioned it. :D

  • Creative Funk. Well, this is Embarrassing. | Stratejoy | Conquer Your Quarterlife Crisis through Fresh Strategies for Real Joy Says:
    June 4th, 2010 at 10:04 am

    [...] read an amazing post and get jealous instead of inspired. I start letting my Negative Nellie run wild with “You’ll never be able to write like that” or “You’ll [...]

  • Giving Thanks | Stratejoy | Conquer Your Quarterlife Crisis through Fresh Strategies for Real Joy Says:
    August 6th, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    [...] a lot to help me reframe my life so I can remember the wonderful things instead of giving into the Negative Nellie need to obsessively cataloguing every perceived slight, or inconvenience, or hardship that flitted [...]

  • Jen Says:
    November 2nd, 2010 at 9:34 am

    Glad I found your site! I am a Gen X gal but am really struggling with a lot of these issues. I am going to subcribe to the feed!

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