Finding Flow

posted 8th April 2009    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Life Lesson, Molly, Tips & Tools

I am a voracious reader.  I read novels to escape, magazines for entertainment & anything dealing with positive psychology/authentic happiness/life meaning/woman’s issues to satisfy my appetite for learning.  Some girls buy shoes, I buy books.

Usually I use the lessons I learn to inform the content of my workshops & my coaching.  I pride myself on weaning the best of the best & sharing what I think is applicable to our lives as modern women.  I try to do all the heavy lifting for you.

This time I’m going to ask you to do some work. I want you to read the book for yourself.

Introducing…  Finding Flow by Mihaly Csíkszentmihályi, one of the world’s leading positive psychology researchers, as well as the director of the Quality of Life Research Center & professor at Claremont Graduate University.  The book is fascinating.  Fascinating.  It contains a clear vision of increasing the quality of life by increasing your experience of flow.

“It is the full involvement of flow, rather than happiness, that makes for excellence in life.”

I was already familiar with the concept of flow.  It’s being in the groove, consumed in your present reality, challenged but succeeding with clear goals & feedback.  For some it’s gardening, writing, skiing, intense conversation, tasks at work.  It can be anything.  It can be everything.

I have experienced flow dancing, teaching, reading intense novels & while making elaborate visual journal entries.  (Those who’ve seen me in action understand my addition to magazine collages…)

In an interview with Wired magazine, Csíkszentmihályi described flow as “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.”

Now, while I highly recommend you reading this book for yourself, I also realize most of you won’t.  And I don’t want you to miss out- so I’m going to share my favorite ideas.

WARNING: Heavy reading ahead.  Time to tune in & stop scanning.

Just being happy isn’t enough…

“The quality of life does not depend on happiness alone, but also on what one does to be happy.  If one fails to develop goals that give meaning to one’s existence, if one does not use the mind to the fullest, then good feelings fulfill just a fraction of the potential we possess.”

I realize I write about happiness frequently & that I claim I don’t care what your version of authentic happiness is.  I take it back.  I care deeply.  I want you to be using your strengths, fulfilling your potential & creating good for the world.  I want you to be engaged in your own life.  As a certain ex-boyfriend of mine knows, I’m passionate about people pushing themselves to reveal their potential, to share the gifts they possess.  He hated that speech.  That’s why he’s an ex.

What rewards you each day?

“So the first step in improving the quality of life consists in engineering activities so that one gets the most rewarding experiences from them.  This sounds simple, but the inertia of habit and social pressure are so strong that many people have no idea which components of their lives they actually enjoy, and which contribute to stress and depression.”

It’s amazing how we can fill our day with work & gym time & happy hours & not have a clue if we are enjoying or benefiting from any of it.  Inertia is a great way of explaining the phenomenon I’ve had so many women share with me: I did what I did today because I did it yesterday.

Spend some time reflecting on all the things you do during your day– how does each activity make you feel?  Really feel?  How does your mood change in different places, times of day or with different people?  Take note & use that information to start making some changes in your day-to-day.

A life of leisure

“While work is seen as a necessary evil, being able to relax, to have nothing to do, seems to most people the royal road to happiness.  The popular assumption is that no skills are involved in enjoying free time, and that anybody can do it.  Yet the evidence suggests the opposite: free time is more difficult to enjoy than work.  Having leisure at one’s disposal does not improve the quality of life unless one knows how to use it effectively, and it is by no means something ones learns automatically.”

Oooh!  I loved the discussion about the difference between passive & active leisure.  When I got back from my trip around the world, I swore off television & junk magazines (junk = celebrity gossip).  After all my self reflection, I recognized I wasn’t gaining a thing from following reality TV or knowing who snubbed who on the red carpet.  It was NOT increasing my quality of life.

In the past year, I’ve slipped back into both habits.  After reading about all the evils of passive leisure,(watching television, reading an unchallenging book, cruising the mall) I’m back on the path of active leisure (any hobby, art form, sport that engages you in flow).   Goodbye Hulu.com, Hello Rosetta Stone!

There are so many more intriguing points in this book that I simply can’t cover in a blog.  I highly encourage you to explore the message for yourself. Read the book! You can pick it up on Amazon for a song.

BACK OF THE BOOK DESCRIPTION

“Part Psychological study, part self-help book, Finding Flow is a prescriptive guide that helps us reclaim ownership of our lives.  Based on far-reaching study of thousands of individuals, Finding Flow contends that we often walk through our days unaware and out of touch with our emotional lives.  Our inattention makes us constantly bounce between two extremes: during much of the day we live filled with the anxiety and pressures of our work and obligations, while during our leisure moments, we tend to live in passive boredom.  The key, according to Csikszentimihalyi, is to challenge ourselves with tasks requiring a high degree of skill and commitment.  Instead of watching television, play the piano.  Transform a routine task by taking a different approach.  In short, learn the joy of complete engagement.  Though they appear simple, the lessons in Finding Flow are life-altering.

Have you read it?  What part did you dig?  Did you make any changes?  Do tell!

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Comments (1)

One Response to “Finding Flow”

  • Lacey Lybecker Says:
    April 9th, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    Love it! I’m in over my head with food writing books for the next while; but perhaps this one will be down the road. I’ve taken your 30 day challenge, keeping track of my mood, etc. etc! I’ll keep you posted.

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