Boys to Men

posted 29th July 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

Boys to Men. No, I’m not referring to the 90’s R&B group. I’m talking about the evolution of the twenty-something boy to the twenty-something man.

Recently, I have encountered both and it really made me stop and think about the difference between the two. I questioned the “boys” to “men” transition. Over the past month my roommate Lizzy and I have had some amazing adventures, two of which were road trips. One weekend was a trip to see Kenny Chesney in concert in Pittsburgh PA, the other a four-day music festival in Tennessee called Bonnaroo.

During those two weekends my male travel companions could not have been more different. One was a pair of boys and the other, two young men. All four of them were in their mid twenties.

It made me wonder “What makes one set boys and the other men?” From countless hours crammed inside of a car with the opposite sex I have learned:

Boys

· Drink until they can’t walk

· Degrade females using terms like “broad”

· Have mothers who still buy their pants

· Do not know how to say “I’m sorry”

· Can not think beyond today

Men

· Drink until they fall asleep

· Compliment females

· Are self sufficient enough to make their own meals

· Admit when they make a mistake (even if it is a rare occasion)

· Think about purpose and life

For example, during the first road trip to Kenny Chesney, we decided to ease some tension in the car and played a version of 20 Questions. (My roommate and I were running late, as usual, and the boys were not happy. The fact that I was driving only fueled the fire. Males always get funny when they are in the backseat, its like they get an inferiority complex when they aren’t in control.) We modified the game a bit and decided that since there were 4 of us, we would each think of 5 questions to ask the other passengers, giving us a total of twenty. The catch, you had the choice of whether or not you wanted to answer your own question. So it made for some interesting material to say the least.

When it was my turn I asked, “What is your proudest moment?” and the boys were absolutely dumbfounded. That really bothered me. After a while, one of the boys said his proudest moment was sports related and the other couldn’t say anything. He said he was proud of his family. Which is totally fine and there is nothing wrong with that. But, don’t you think people should be proud of something for themselves too? I mean, if someone were to write a book about your life up until right now what would your proudest moment be?

For me, I don’t think that is a really deep and intricate question, but apparently, to these boys it was. It makes me sad that they have lived on this earth twenty-some-odd years and can’t say they are proud of something they have done in that time. The weekend only got worse when me and Lizzy had to take care of the drunken idiots. It was not the weekend I had signed up for. It was a weekend for boys.

The following weekend Lizzy and I spent 12 hours driving to Tennessee with two men, not boys. The four of us learned so much about each other; it was one of the best road trips of my life!! It could not have been more opposite than the previous weekend road trip from hell. A few hours into the drive, the Englishman (our new friend Leigh) told us he was working on a list of 30 Before 30. (Although, because he is 28 he later changed his to 30 Before 40. Same idea though, you get the picture) I am obsessed with lists (when I say obsessed I mean I write lists on post-its, envelopes, napkins, my hand, receipts, wrappers etc.)

I could not wait to make my own list of 30 Before 30! I thought it was such a cool idea and so appropriate, considering my 25th birthday is coming up really soon. On the drive to Bonnaroo we took turns thinking of ideas and sharing what we would put on our lists. On the ride back to DC, we took out a notebook and each started our lists. It gave me a good feeling about the new friends I made. These are the types of people I thrive off.

We gave each other a week deadline to finish and made a pact to share them via email. Take a look at my 30 Before 30 list and let me know what else I could add!

Both weekends I had a moment where I literally had to stop what I was doing and ask, “Is this my life?” Both situations taught me something about boys vs. men. I learned the types of males that should be in my life right now. I see now which are healthy for me, which will continue with me throughout this chapter and which ones I should cleanse. I guess you could say for me its not longer about boys, its time to phase them out and start new relationships and friendships with men. What about you?

Andrea (new) bio.

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Comments (7)

7 Responses to “Boys to Men”

  • Paull Young Says:
    July 29th, 2009 at 10:37 am

    Interesting post – I was intrigued to see your pov since I am a mid-20s male.

    I can see your point being valid, but not sure that ‘boys’ are all bad. I think I’m happiest straddling both groups. I’m definitely a man now I’m spending my time in the professional world (versus a few years ago at uni), but you don’t always want to be too grown up… you’ve got your whole life to do that!

    Great post.

  • EmmaJoan (Heart) Says:
    July 29th, 2009 at 10:38 am

    I feel like roadtrips are make-or-breaks for many different types of relationships. I’m glad you found men who were worthwhile to share so much time with!

  • Natalie Says:
    July 29th, 2009 at 11:25 am

    Great blog, Andrea! I can totally relate, although I’m not quite to that quarter life crisis yet!

  • Leigh Says:
    July 29th, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    Lists are good! I think I still owe you mine too!! Very good blog hun, keep up the good work!! x

  • the beast girl Says:
    July 30th, 2009 at 11:45 am

    Try dating boys … I feel that even if they have one of the “boys” traits (excessive drinking) and all of the rest of the “men” traits, they are still immature. I would like a trained dog, not a belligerent puppy!

    Fun post. Enjoyed it :-)

  • cameron plommer Says:
    July 24th, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    It's always nice to know what a women is thinking about us Men/Boys

  • Wayne J Says:
    October 26th, 2010 at 6:36 am

    · Drink until they fall asleep/ no this doesn't make a man

    · Compliment females/ yes

    · Are self sufficient enough to make their own meals/ yes

    · Admit when they make a mistake (even if it is a rare occasion) / yes

    · Think about purpose and life / sometimes

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