It’s a Whole New World. Just not Disney-Aladdin-style.

posted 16th July 2009    Written by: Marisa    CATEGORY: All Posts, Marisa, Money, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

INTRODUCING MARISA

Self-realization is key.

I ignored self-realization last year despite knowing that I was unhappy with my career because it was just easier to stay with the comfort of a steady paycheck and not change.  I think fate changed it for me instead.

This past March I was “let go” from my job. It wasn’t really shocking or unexpected; I did the numbers and knew that despite company cutbacks my position was probably next and it was.

I decided to enjoy myself with this sudden free time.  I slept late, did absolutely nothing for days on end and lounged like I had never lounged in my life.  And after waking up very late one day, I looked at myself.  I was one lazy hot mess of nothing.  I had friends, great people who were happy with their lives who were not like this! I became instantly jealous.  It was time to change.

But it’s hard work.

Insecurity plagues everything and hides around every corner.  I was stuck somewhere in between the excitement of being able to do anything I’ve ever wanted and the depressing nature that I just lost my job and I was alone.

I had a choice to make.  Was I bound to be that horribly depressing creature on my couch or was I to get going and make plans that challenged me intellectually, physically and even emotionally?

I chose to do something that I’ve always dreamed of doing.  I booked a flight to Austin for SXSW.  If you don’t know SXSW, it’s an indie-rock fangirl’s dream.  I decided that visiting SXSW was going to be the beginning of my new life.  It was time. So I flew to Austin, had some of the best times of my life along with meeting some amazing people, and came back to Portland.  I also booked my first drum lesson.  And guess what, this girl has some skillz (that’s what my teacher says, I’m only quoting).

So, the question here: Am I happy? It’s the beginning of a beautiful summer here in Portland.  There’s new life, new friends and new experiences.  I am happy.  I’m happy enough at the moment we’ll say. However, I struggle with the pursuit of finding a new job.  I struggle with finding a balance of the positive and the negative.

Things are not going to be happy go-lucky all the time.  I recognize that, I even respect that, because true life is never without the crap and the bullshit that this world throws at us.  I get it.

But I’ve started something too big to ignore, too big for complacency.  I can have those crap days, but they’re not going to keep me down.  It’s begun, this journey. It’s going to be never ending, I know that now. The person I am today is not the same person I was three months ago.

Well, I’m still the same crazy cranberry, indie-rock, fabric loving girl… I just smile A LOT more.

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Comments (6)

6 Responses to “It’s a Whole New World. Just not Disney-Aladdin-style.”

  • Kristy Says:
    July 16th, 2009 at 10:41 am

    Maybe it’s because you’re in Portland (my hometown), or maybe because you just described my life perfectly (minus drums, plus writing), but I feel instantly connected to you. Some days I wake up saying “I have more freedom than ever before and the opportunity to do anything!” and others I wake up saying, “I have nothing to do today but sleep — why has it been so difficult to find a job. I am so unhappy.”

    I guess the best we can do is take advantage of the good days to go out there and do ballsy things and find out what we love and what we want to do and take the bad days to refresh, read a book, and relax — because we probably need it more than we want to admit.

    Can’t wait to read more!

  • dsager Says:
    July 17th, 2009 at 5:12 am

    i woke up one day and realized that alot of why i was miserable was because so much of my life was based upon other peoples decisions and i decided to work on eliminating this as much as possible so i would have more control over my happiness…for instance, my job security was based upon the decisions made by the administrator, and unfortunately if you didnt have a huge impact regarding “something” in her day, she could make you very miserable… then i looked at my living situation and realized if my roommate didnt have her part of the rent/utilities, guess who had to foot the bill and wait to be reimbursed, which meant i was B*R*O*K*E until she reimbursed me. So, those were the 2 biggest areas of my life. And it took me about 6 months but i can announce that i have a NEW JOB and no longer have that roommate. So i too have a WHOLE NEW WORLD! When you’re down, there’s only one way to go…..UP! :) tgif

  • Marisa Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    Thanks so much for the comments!!! I realized that as long as I identify what I need to change, those crap days can hopefully be minimized. Glad to hear I’m not alone out there!

  • Molly Hoyne Says:
    July 21st, 2009 at 8:44 am

    Glad to hear you’re smiling a lot more!

    @dsager Congratulations! Sounds like you’re in for a bright new adventure. Way to take stock & then do something about it!

  • Coming Full Circle at SXSW | Stratejoy | Conquer Your Quarterlife Crisis through Fresh Strategies for Real Joy Says:
    December 10th, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    [...] you believe it?  Almost a WHOLE year since my first adventure began after becoming unemployed.  And it was one of the best experiences of my life. I plan to [...]

  • Are You Having a Quarterlife Crisis? | Stratejoy | Conquer Your Quarterlife Crisis through Fresh Strategies for Real Joy Says:
    January 29th, 2010 at 9:17 am

    [...] a familiar face around Stratejoy, you know that we’ve had Robyn, Kendra, Andrea and Marisa writing about their day to day experience of conquering, or at least surviving, their QLC for the [...]

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