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Everyone Deserves To Relax, Even You

posted 23rd September 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Inspiration, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

fam at the beach

Every year, since I was 15 years old, my family and I have taken a trip to the Outer Banks in North Carolina during the last week of August. It is pretty much the only time out of the whole year (not including when I get sick or hungover) where my brain can calm down a little and I literally DO NOTHING.

To some people, this is really easy.

For me, its really really hard.  Relaxing is a challenge… to say the least.

Outerbanks

This is a picture of the Outer Banks. It in my go-to-special-place in my head that image when someone says “Imagine yourself in your most relaxed state.” It’s no Mexico or Caribbean, but its what I visualize each and every time.

This year, it was a lot harder than most years to “do nothing.” I am still trying to get it through my head that its ok to relax and everyone deserves some calm down time. Since I am obsessed with lists, I thought I would make a list of a few key things that I know can calm me down and see what others due to relax or calm down when life gets to be too much to handle.

My Go To Relaxation List

Those are my top things that I like to do to take my mind off the stress and general feelings of overwhelming daily life. What are some of your recommendations? What would be on your list?

The bottom line, everyone deserves to relax, even you! So, if you haven’t done something for yourself in a while, make it a goal do so soon. Problems, issues, work and life will always be there.

Take a break, take a breath and relax.

*PS I also decided to de-stress my life by getting rid of my Blackberry and downgrading to a regular, normal generic cell phone. Blasphemous in this day and age I KNOW, but I’ve decided it’s unecceasry to be tied to technology 24/7. Try it for yourself and see…*

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Better Living Through Chemistry

posted 22nd September 2009    Written by: Kendra    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kendra, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

59259529_68336a92e0Last summer for the first time in my then 28 years of life, I couldn’t sleep. For eleven consecutive weeks I averaged between 3 and 4 hours of sleep a night, never more, sometimes less.

I could only fall asleep once sufficiently exhausted and three to four hours later I’d be awake, my mind cycling through a mental list of things to do, my heart racing.

I tried all of the conventional advice.

My attempts at a sleep schedule meant that when I’d put myself to bed at 11pm, if I was fortunate enough to fall asleep, I’d be left watching crappy infomercials at 2am while waiting for the rest of the world to wake up around me.

I exercised, I gave up caffeine, bid adieu to alcohol, tried over the counter sleeping pills and brewed pot after pot of valerian root tea.
And still I couldn’t sleep. Until one day, I could. One night in Mid-July I put my head to the pillow and I woke up seven glorious hours later well rested and late for work.

And then I slept the next day, and the next, and the next.

I didn’t know why I could suddenly sleep. My life hadn’t gotten any less stressful but sleep came and I wasn’t going to question it. And although I never slept as consistently well as I did pre-insomnia, I had managed to regain the ability to nap (which I had also lost during my mad, mad insomnia) which meant that after a bad night’s sleep I could at least catch up.

I was more or less at peace with my new wonky sleep cycle until I found myself in Montreal in February once again unable to sleep, only this time with a healthy side of anxiety and depression.

I’d be at my internship after a fitful night of sleep working on a brochure when I’d be overcome with the sudden desire to cry that was divorced from anything that I was actually thinking or intellectually feeling. Or something as simple as going downstairs to buy a cup of coffee would make my belly do flip-flops even though ordering coffee is ordinarily as anxiety inducing as breathing.

So I did what everyone without health insurance does. I loaded up WebMD, typed in my symptoms and what came out was a diagnosis not of depression, but of vitamin D deficiency.

It turns out that Vitamin D deficiency is fairly widespread; the easiest source of it is from the sun and most of us do not get enough sunlight- fairer skinned individuals need at least 15minutes of sun exposure (without sun block) a day, dark skinned individuals such as myself need nearly 40 minutes.  And anyone who lives in latitudes north of New York City cannot physically metabolize vitamin D from sunlight from mid-October through Mid-March creating a vitamin D deficiency.

The side effects of adult-onset deficiency include depression, anxiety, bone pain, and insomnia. I had all four.

Once I realized this I started putting together the pieces. For example, my insomnia ended the first time as I had begun farming and had started to get 5-7 hours of sunlight a day.  The taste for dark beer I had developed in graduate school, was probably due in part to the fact that dark beer is one of the few dietary sources of vitamin D that I could actually consume (I’m lactose intolerant), as was my sudden obsession with egg yolks (a food I previously merely  tolerated instead of adored).

And once I started to get Vitamin D I started to feel, well, better. More myself.  When I was sad, I was actually sad (and understood it) and when I was happy the same was true.

The reason I’m writing this I guess, is because sometimes in our quest for happiness the roadblock is not always a physical one, it’s a biochemical one. It’s also an under reported problem and a very easy fix. A quick blood test can check if your levels are low, and Vitamin D supplements are thankfully, ridiculously cheap.

kendra-bio1

photo credit: e-magic

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My Beautiful Life 10 Years Down the Road

posted 21st September 2009    Written by: Robyn    CATEGORY: All Posts, Creativity, Quarterlife Crisis, Robyn, Season 1

coffee heartI loved Molly’s post about what she wants her life to be like in 10 years, so I decided to write my own.

What’s funny is that I remember writing a paper about this when I was a freshman in high school, which was actually 10 years ago… Crazy!  At age 15, I remember considering my future at age 25 (How old, I thought!).  First and foremost, I pictured myself married with kids in the near future.  I also pictured myself as a successful businesswoman—probably at some Fortune 500 company, strutting around in a power suit and heels, amazing people with my…uhhh business abilities?

Honestly, at age 15 I had no idea what it would be like to actually have a corporate job or what the true definition of “success” meant.  I also had no idea how young age 25 truly is…

When I ask myself what my ideal life would be like 10 years down the road, I immediately know that it mostly involves simplicity and, of course, love.

First of all, I want to live somewhere that allows me to be outside as much as I can be.  I want my free time to be spent exploring and being active.  I want my surroundings to constantly leave me in awe and offer me beautiful sights and experiences.  I want to live in a simple, cozy home with my family.  I want a big backyard and a vegetable garden (Molly and I will probably exchange gardening tips).

My job doesn’t seem so much like a job.  It is intertwined with my life and everything I love about my life.  Perhaps I own a little coffee shop in an artsy area of a big city—a place that attracts regulars as much as it attracts new people who just stopping in to check out “the cute place on the corner.”  I feel at home at my coffee shop, and my friends and family are constantly dropping in to say hello and visit.  I get to bring my dog to work, and I call her the coffee shop mascot.

I live close to everyone I love, and I get to share my life with these people I care so much about.  Since I own my own business, and I have trustworthy people working for me (and I pay them well!), I don’t have a problem finding time to take a walk with a friend or take a day off to go to the beach.  I even give myself mini-vacations throughout the year as I see fit.

I feel at peace with all the decisions I have made to get me to where I am. I have a loving family.  I have supportive friends.  I have a job that not only pays the bills, but leaves me feeling fulfilled and accomplished.  My life is filled with all that makes me happy and brings out the best in me—those I care about and time to spend time with them.

robyn-bio1

photo credit : premshree

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The Power of Personal Retreats

posted 18th September 2009    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Molly, Travel

Bali Tanah LotStratejoy was born on a trip.  A mighty long trip, true, but a still a trip involving beaches and scuba diving and lots of meditation.

And guess where I’m headed?  On a trip involving beaches and scuba diving and lots of meditation.

So, although my three weeks in Bali are nothing close to 10 months of backpacking, I’m completely excited to recharge, chill out and put some brain power to thinking about my life and my business. A ton of the original purpose and motivation for Stratejoy came from simply being able to think, without worrying about the stresses of everyday life.

And I am so ready for some more of that kind of thinking!

The other kicker about this trip?  I am turning 29 while I’m gone. For some reason, this feels like a big scary birthday.  I imagine it’s because a lot of my life is up in the air right now and 29 seems freakin’ close to 30 and isn’t 30 when you’re supposed to have it all figured out?  And aren’t I, as the founder of Stratejoy, supposed to have my shit together?   Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Obviously, I know this isn’t true.  These insecurities are just that, insecurities.  30 isn’t the end of the world and I don’t have to “have it all figured out.”  I’m on the same path as you– doing the work to point my life in an extraordinary direction and then letting go of the need to control everything.

Life’s a pretty incredible journey that way.  But the 29-oh-my-god feeling is still there…

It’s the dang Quarterlife Crisis rearing its head again.

And that brings me back to the power of personal retreats, at least for me. I truly feel like I conquered at least part of my crisis during the last 2 months of my trip around the world.  And I’m ready to give the remaining bit a swift kick of clarity and acceptance over the next 3 weeks.

I’ve got my journal, my favorite paints and colored pencils, and a bunch of books on Buddhism that I’ve been wanting to tackle.  I plan of having plenty of fun with the Big Man, but I also plan on thinking.  On creating.  On taking some deeps breaths. On listening to my heart and intuition.  On relearning how to relax.

And I definitely plan on plotting ways to spread the Authentic Happiness Movement. On growing the Tribe.  On bringing you the best clarity courses, accountability programs, and inspiration to live life on your terms.

How can you help?

Send me a birthday card.  October 6th is the official day!

Just kidding.  But you could comment on this post with things you’d like to see from Stratejoy, so I can noodle on them while I’m on the beach and in the hills.  You can suggest ways I can improve my offerings, marketing, transparency, blog, branding, workshops, haircolor, habit of swearing, tendency to cry at simply everything, way I stop breathing when I laugh really hard, laziness around running, hatred of listening to voicemails, etc, etc etc.

Or send me an email if you’ve really got a lot to say…

Seriously sugarpops, I need some “stuff” to work with.  Fire away!

photo credit: bramvera

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Reality Bites

posted 17th September 2009    Written by: Marisa    CATEGORY: All Posts, Job/Career/Work, Marisa, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

changeShit is about to get real.

And I say this with the utmost belief that I am going to be okay. I know I will, I have faith that I will be. But still, it’s crunch time.

My unemployment claim ends in two weeks. I will have to file an extension after that, but I haven’t received a letter notifying me if I qualify yet. And I’m a little scared. Scared that I won’t qualify and I’ll be left with no financial option.

On the upside of things, I had a job interview today.  It was for a Store Operations Specialist with lucy, inc. active wear. They’re based out of Portland and even though it’s only a temporary job for a couple of months, this could seriously pull me out of the brink.

It was a good interview; I know that I’m pleasant, quick and charming so I always feel positive about meeting new people in a work/employment situation. I can at least be confident in that aspect. What I’m concerned about is this company finding someone else who is more qualified, more enthusiastic, more of something they want. This position is for less money than my previous job, has no health benefits and is only three days a week. But seriously, I would take it in a heartbeat.

I need a job. I need this type of control back in my life.

Control is such a dubious and weird thing. Do I have control over my life? I don’t know. I have control over my actions, over my thoughts and mostly over my emotions (to a point). My life, I think, is uncontrollable in the grandeur scale. I chose to take control of a journey that was given to me 6 months ago. I’ve been able to handle most things thrown my way. That’s the control that I’ve been wielding lately.

I am so different than the Marisa that existed 6 months ago.

Listen, it’s not a matter anymore for me of whether or not I’m in control. I’ve accepted the fact that people, things, experiences happen to us and it’s not about whether or not you can control them, it’s about what you can do to make your life positive and plentiful with happiness. I can’t control whether or not I hear from lucy, inc. next week; it would be fantastic and pretty much a loud scream of happiness in my silent employment world, but I’m realistic. I’d move on to the next step, next application and next hope.

I can control some things. Not all things, but some. At least the stuff that I think will make me happy and to be honest, right now, I just need control to take a back seat and let me breathe.

I need that phone call too. Hey employment gods, you hear me?

marisa-bio1

photo credit: zacklur

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