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Friends and Music

posted 29th October 2009    Written by: Marisa    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

high scoresReno is a sixteen-hour train ride away. Driving is twelve. Flying is only one and a half but I hate to fly. So if I wanted to go home to see family, it’s going to take some time.  Since I have no family living near the Northwest, I count my friends, my truly good and best friends, my family.

I will go balls to the wall for my family.  I’ve chosen some positive, loving and truly amazing people to be in my Portland family and when one needs help, I’m there.

I met my friend Devin back in June. He is only 22. But this 22 year-old is one of the most dedicated and amazing people who plays and is involved with music here in Portland. He goes to school, plays in three bands and has his own record label, High Scores and Records.

The High Scores and Records label has some pretty amazing local artists. They are all people who I think define the Portland music scene for 2009. And even though Devin is young and inexperienced, he’s done a lot so far. So that’s why when we first met and he was telling me about his label, I offered my help. I recognized something in him; he had drive and passion for something he knew he wanted long ago.  Even though I never found my “it” that young, I know that my journey is to find “it”.

In the meantime, I wanted to help him achieve his dream.

For the past month that’s what I’ve been doing. I guess my official title is PR representative. I’ve written some press releases and attended shows with Devin to meet some of the bands he has on his label. I’m not getting paid for any work and honestly, I don’t even consider it work. It’s absolutely entertaining and fun and enlightening to help someone else achieve his dream.

And I have so much fun along the way with meeting new people, attending shows and being a good friend.

This week is a pretty big week for High Scores and Records family. There’s a big gathering of indie labels at a showcase for the people behind the NW music in Portland. I’m going as a part of it and I am so excited. There’s going to be t-shirts, free music and people, people, people.

And to boot, I have a job interview tomorrow. It’s seasonal and temporary, but it’s with the lucy company, the same company I interviewed with last time. The interviewer really liked me and wanted to help me out again.  Best luck I’ve had all month.

So here’s what I’m learning throughout this Quarterlife Crisis: You can do many things in your exploration. Many things that not only make you happy, but also help your friends.  All of this can guide you through the journey.

I’m having a blast helping Devin.  And this “labelmates” event is going to be something I’ve never experienced. But that’s what my QLC is about.

I’m glad I have motivated friends. They are helping me to focus and I can feel their influence begin to help with my direction in life and work. I’m getting there, slowly but surely, and I’m more than happy to help some friends along the way.

marisa-bio1

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For Richer Or For Poorer?

posted 28th October 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

money on treesYou know the saying, “Money makes the world go round?” Sometimes I wish it wasn’t true.

Lately, I have had this fear that I will be poor for rest of my life. Why does money have to matter so much?

I didn’t exactly come from a rich or a poor family, but as an individual I am seriously terrible with personal finances. I’ve worked since I was 16 years old and have always had my own money, but I just can’t seem to wrap my hands around sustaining a budget. I’m not in serious credit card debt, but I don’t have this huge savings account either.

Having a lot of money sitting around has never been a priority to me.

There have been many friends and family who have attempted to show me how they manage things…. but it never works. I am still living pretty much paycheck to paycheck and I’m 25  years old. It’s sad and upsets me. Just this past week I started my 401K… I’ve been working for 3 years now (so embarrassing!)

It may have something to do with the fact that some of the best jobs in the world pay crap and the worst ones pay tons! All of the things I have done with my career, or want to do, aren’t exactly six-figure salary gigs. Sometimes when I play the “What my Life COULD have been if I…..” game, I think about if I would have taken a different job that paid better, or stayed with my ex boyfriend, who was on the fast track to the top of the corporate ladder, or maybe thought twice about traveling so much.

Money is the cause for so much stress in individual life, its no wonder its the leading cause for divorce among couples and fighting among friends and family.

Why can’t money just grow on trees? Wouldn’t that solve everything?

Everyday I check Twitter and Craigslist and Facebooks for potential jobs in writing, blogging or even internships in social media. (If you know of any send them my way please!) With the holidays coming up and taking my Eastern Europe Adventure I am going to be more broke I have ever been in my entire life.

It’s not a good feeling. Not when I see other people my age buying houses or new cars or starting a family.

I couldn’t do any of those things, even if I wanted to because I’d never be able to afford them.

I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I may not have grown up “things” to show for myself, but I do have a lot of experiences, adventure and subsequently amazing stories and memories.

Aren’t those worth just as much as say, a house?

Andrea (new) bio.

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Staying the Course Even When the Water Gets Rough

posted 27th October 2009    Written by: Kendra    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

StormyWaters_Biarritz

This post is an extension of an e-mail I sent to a friend who is also very much struggling with figuring out how to create a rhythm and a pace for contentment. I know she’d be more than okay with me sharing it with a wider audience.

Profundity escapes me, I have no answers and I’m too tired to ask any questions beyond “Will things get better?”

We of the Quarter Life Crisis have decided or are on the precipice of choosing a less common path. Many of our friends have picked steadier, more well worn paths and now as we sink into the depths of our depression, as happiness withdraws into an ever dwindling glimmer, we reach out to them to pull us towards the light and we’re left to question the wisdom of our decision.

They reach back to pull us up, but they can’t lift us up because they don’t ‘get’ it.  Why we don’t want a ‘normal’ job, why we can’t seem to settle on a city, on a career, on a path. Some of them want to get it, but most of them I think don’t even really want to.

Who leaps willingly into the abyss?

They love us and they want to help us, and in truth they may be no happier than we are, but theirs is a managed unhappiness. A predictable unhappiness, while we feel buffeted about by the winds of chaos, alone in a storm of our own making.

This is not about an ‘us’ or a ‘them’, because really it’s all ‘we’. It’s about figuring out what fits, living a lifestyle that you love. And the most important part in doing that is recognizing what’s real and what isn’t.

It is true you know; we made this mess. This beautiful, blessed thing that is our life is a creature of our own making. And that is a reassuring thing. If we can make such a mess, we also have it in us to make lives of great beauty.

We just have to start doing it.

We have to accept the tempest and nonetheless turn our tiny boats in the direction of our heart’s desires, correcting as we go but ever certain of our direction as our beacon beats within our chest.

kendra-bio1

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Leaving the Office Behind

posted 26th October 2009    Written by: Robyn    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

Case of the MondaysConsider the movie Office Space as I attempt to use this movie to explain the most recent major change in my life.

First, let’s start with the scene where Peter tells his co-worker friend Michael that he has “got to get out of the office.”  A secretary overhears and responds to Peter with, “Looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays.”  Later on in the movie, Peter’s slightly trashy neighbor decides that this kind of comment in the workplace should result in “getting your ass beaten.”

I would have to agree.

For the past two years, I have spent my Monday mornings (and Tuesday mornings and Wednesday mornings, etc) Office Space-style…It never mattered what day of the week it was—I ALWAYS had a “case of the Mondays.”  And even though I have attempted to keep my work and personal life separate, it’s hard to not have my sad office life nagging me in the back of mind.

In the movie, Peter is eventually driven to start ripping off his company.  I don’t think I would reach such extremes, but I don’t want to test myself.  So…

Yay me!  My sad office life is no more!  I have taken a small step toward a life change by officially put in my two weeks’ notice. While it’s a little nerve wracking, it’s also an incredible feeling.  I have already started my countdown…Only one more Monday to go after today!

I feel like I have blogged about traveling nonstop, and thoughts of hopping a plane to a new place are constantly floating around in my mind.  I have no major plans as of yet, but I am taking a short trip to California to visit one of my best friends the first weekend after my last day.

It’s nice to be able to book a trip and not have to worry about rushing back by Sunday night.

I’m all smiles when it comes to the free time I will have to spend reading, writing, traveling, exploring, and doing more things that I enjoy.  On the other hand, I am anxious about my less-than-impressive savings account and my current lack of a plan.  I knew I would need to pick up lots of freelance to quit my job, and while I do have a couple steady things, I do not have enough to feel secure about my freelance being my sole source of income.

I knew I would still need another way to make money until I could really build my own work.  I played around with the idea of going back to serving or bartending.  I thought about working at a coffee shop or bookshop, but then I stumbled across an ad for dog walking.  I applied and interviewed and got really excited.  Not only will it bring in some extra cash, but it offers me the opportunity to be active and outside and with animals—three of my favorite things and all things that my “9 to 5” did not offer me.

I’m thrilled to see how my new change of course will pan out.  After all, according to Peter Gibbon’s wise words, “…we don’t have a lot of time on this earth! We weren’t meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day…”

I definitely agree, and I definitely refuse to ever go back to a cubicle ever again!

robyn-bio1

photocredit: luzbonita

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How to Be Free: A Beginner’s Guide

posted 26th October 2009    Written by: Molly Hoyne    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, What I've Learned

be free molly b hoyne 2009 CR

Letting go of expectations is hard.  Giving up some of the control we  exert over every part of our life takes practice.  It’s a exercise in freedom.  In flying wild.  In accepting surprises and quirks and amazing gifts that land in our laps.

So how do you be free? I’m no expert.  But believe me when I say I’m practicing letting go every single day.

How to Be Free: A Beginner’s Guide.

1. Let go of expectations regarding success.

Forgive yourself if you suck at letting go of expectations.  Try again.  And again. Ponder and journal and over analyze the orgins of your expectations.  Who first told you that you had to go to college and get a job and make a lot of money to be successful?

Let go of figuring out who first told you that you had to go to college and get a job and make a lot of money to be successful.   Instead, spend your time thinking about how you want to be successful.

Ask yourself questions about what you want to contribute to the world. Questions about what you have to share.  Questions about how you want to show up each and every day.

Realize that you loved going to college. Make a gesture of gratitude for whoever told you to go to college.  Let go of the expectation that going to college equaled success.  Understand that it was part of your journey, but just the first little itty bitty part.

Realize that maybe, someday, you would like to go back to school.  But it will be because you want to, not because you should.

Realize that you really liked some parts of your assorted jobs that you were “supposed” to get. Accept that you’ll probably never want to go back to a “job.”  Say a quick memorial for 401ks and employer covered health insurance and meetings spent doodling on your steno pad.

Let go of the general consensus that not having a “real job” makes you a bit odd.  Realize that for you, success doesn’t mean playing it safe and having a “real job”.  Savor the fact that you understand yourself so well. Even when it’s hard, you know what’s right for you.

Let go of everyone’s expectations towards success, except your own.  Once you’ve figured out your version, jump in!  You are free! Don’t forget you can towel off and start over if need be.  It’s all part of the journey.

2. Let go of expectations regarding beauty.

Take a long look at yourself in the mirror.  Accept all your beauty.  Accept all your perceived flaws.  Try really hard to remember that they are not flaws.  They are you.  And you are beautiful.

Forgive yourself if it’s really hard to let go of your learned expectations of beauty.  We’re surrounded by fashion magazines and TV shows and commercials full of society’s definition of beauty.  Resolve to stop buying the magazines and watching the shows if they make you feel less worthy.

Stop looking in the mirror for as long as you can.  You’re still there.  Whole, contributing, dancing, showing up, leaning in.  Resist the urge to look “just in case”.  Practice feeling beautiful, strong, present without relying on on confirmation from the mirror.

Realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Realize that the only beholder you have control over is you.

Practicing saying, “I am beautiful”.  Practicing believing, “I am beautiful”.

Understand there is so much more to beauty than the size of your jeans, the length of your lashes, the cool factor of your style.  Let go of unrealistic expectations combed from media, your mother’s neurosis, your girlfriends better whatever, your own striving towards perfection. Let go of striving.  Live.  Love.  Accept.  Relax.

Realize this is hard.  Practice for your daughter’s sake.  Understand that accepting your own beauty means you are free.

3.  Let go of expectations regarding happiness.

Catch yourself every time you play the if, then game.  If I get this promotion, then I’ll be happy.  If he asks me to marry him, then I’ll be happy.   If she @’s me on Twitter, then I’ll be happy.  Realize this is a trick you play on yourself. An evil, disappointing, unrealistic trick.

Happiness is an inside job. Happiness is not nearly as dependent on outside factors as our expectations have led us to believe.

Shower yourself in love.  In acceptance.  In understanding that quirks and passions and taking an active role in your own life is what brings about joy.  Let go of what others say “should” make you happy.  Practice understanding what tickles you, makes you smile, gives you the sense of being gloriously alive.  Hot? Cold?  Only you know.

Realize that you are happy painting your days away in your pajamas.  Realize that you are happy on a walk in the autumn leaves.  Realize that you are happy winking at the gas station man.  Understand that it’s okay to be happy.

Allow yourself to wake up happy every morning, regardless of the situation, instead of waking up stressed out and anxious about the day ahead of you.  Practice this until it feels normal.

Start doing the things that make you happy more often.  Let go of the expectation that this means you are selfish, flighty or wasting time.  Stop doing so many of the things that make you unhappy. Understand that it feels odd.

Share your new outlook with others.  Be okay with the fact that many of them will say they “can’t” stop doing the things that make them unhappy.  Hope that someday they’ll realize that they can.

Accept that by taking control over your own happiness, you have set yourself free.

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