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You’re Never Really Alone

posted 15th October 2009    Written by: Marisa    CATEGORY: All Posts, Molly, Quarterlife Crisis

Marisa ScooterI find it difficult to accept help when I know I can accomplish the task on my own.  Any task really.  Well, most things let’s say, but two weeks ago I was confronted with the fact that I really do need help in certain situations.

During one of the most uncoordinated moments in my life, I fractured my foot. It was all so silly and I couldn’t believe that my klutzy self could even be capable of self harm like that, but I did it.  I fractured the fifth metatarsal bone in my left foot and it hurt.

I limped home, hoping it wasn’t too serious, and after trying to sleep during a fitful, restless and painful night, realized something was wrong.  I couldn’t put weight on it and I had trouble getting from my bed to the bathroom and around my apartment.

My cat Sophie watched in amusement (one can only assume) as I tried to hop around at 3 a.m. and not break my other foot.  I was faced with some choices: do I hop the four blocks to the overpriced and unaffordable ER or do I wait for the early morning light to taxi it to a clinic and wait for hours upon hours?  I had a hard time deciding what to do since the pain was starting to make me sweat and having never broken or fractured anything in my life, I panicked a little bit.

So of course, I called my mom.

It’s comforting to know that I can call her at any time, day or night, no matter the issue.  That’s what it’s like when you have an awesome (all be it sometimes overprotective who offered to fly the next day) mother.  I sat on the hardwood floors of my apartment, in pain, in my jammies and with a cat that either looked very concerned or very hungry.  And after talking to my mom, who helped me to be logical at an illogical time during the night/day, I couldn’t help but still feel nervous and scared in my dark apartment.

I was alone. There was no one there to hold my hand, hug me and tell me things would be better, soothing the pain.  I didn’t like the feeling of having just my cat sit there, watching me with inquisitive eyes, wondering if I’m going to get up and feed her or just sit there like a log.

I started to feel like Miranda in that one episode of Sex in the City where she choked on her Chinese food and became scared of dying alone and/or being eaten alive by her cat.  I hate to admit it, but I went there. I wondered if Sophie would one day find me tasty if I were to ever be incapacitated and she, out of cat food.

For Miranda in that episode, having no boyfriend or significant other to rely on, friends were her support and answer.  As soon as I was able to control the ridiculous, but plausible concern of being eaten alive by my cat, I called the ever reliable Katie and Kyle at a decent hour.

Kyle picked me up, helped carry me to and out of his car and dropped me off at a ZoomCare Clinic.  Then Katie took me to Safeway once I was on crutches and helped with some grocery shopping.  Even my busy touring friend Anna visited me every day until I could walk, and we celebrated with a dance party at Holocene where I was able to dance and adore the amazing Esser.

This is what I learned: I am alone, yes, but self-reliant and not without help when in dire need. Sure, I can get a little crazy at times-I have vowed to have a never-ending supply of dry cat food in my pantry-but still, I have people who support me and I in turn, support them.

It works.  And until I find someone to be there at my side to soothe the pain at 4 a.m. in the morning, I can do it alone most of the time, especially with wonderful friends.

And a full, over-fed cat.

marisa-bio1

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I’m Not The Only 20-Something Suffering From a Quarter Life Crisis

posted 14th October 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1, Travel, Travel/Adventure

I must confess, I am an avid fan of Twitter. In the media field, Twitter is an essential part of connecting and conversing within communities. Many people have told me they don’t understand it or think its stupid- and that’s fine- but for me, Twitter is a never ending stream of resources, things to read and just general cool stuff.

Nicole Is BetterOnce in a while, I do random searches on Twitter for more blogging jobs or my personal curiosity, and I recently stumbled upon a fabulous fellow 20-something, Nicole Ross (@nicoleisbetter) living through a Quarterlife Crisis. Read about her story and I’m sure you will feel like you have known her for years, just like I did!

By the way, for any prospective employers out there, Nicole is a top-notch writer so be sure to send her some opportunities or contacts if any happen to cross your path.

I’m Not The Only 20-Something Suffering From a Quarterlife Crisis

AM: Nicole, tell me some fun things about you. What are you interests, hobbies and life goals.

RN: Hmm, let’s see. My life is pretty much a combination of traveling, writing, and continually searching for inspiration. My unofficial goal is to meet every single person on the planet. I’m overwhelmingly in love with: the world, iced tea, black & white photos, memoirs, giant hoop earrings, wine, eyeliner, pigtails, lists, and people who care enough to make a difference.

AM: I have an obsession with black and white photos & lists too!  How old are you Nicole?

NR: 24 ; I’ll be 25 next June

AM: What are you currently doing for a career or school?

NR: I spent the past five summers running a children’s summer day camp in Southern California, and while I absolutely loved working with kids and living by the beach, I always had the sneaky, unavoidable desire to give it all up to write and travel the world. So now, as of just last week, that’s officially what I’m doing, living the life of a Professional Nomad!

AM: I used to work at a day camp too and I have to say it was the best years of my working life! So tell me, what does that mean to be a “Professional Nomad” ?

NR: I’m terrified, of course, as is the norm for any “give up your safety net to follow your dreams” scenario, but I’m thrilled to finally be taking the risk to achieve what I’ve always wanted.

AM:When did you realize you were entering a QLC?

NR: The QLC crept up on me right after college. I graduated a year early and really had absolutely no clue what I wanted to do, what I could do, and how to be a “real adult.” Because, that’s the thing about college: it’s the culmination of 18 years of being told what to do, of following a syllabus, and then you get thrown off the academia train and realize that oh, there’s no syllabus for life and um, where the heck am I supposed to go from here?

AM: What happened?

NR: I bounced around a lot during the early months, especially since my non-traditional summer camp Director position allowed for a pretty flexible lifestyle. I tried different things, part-time jobs, hobbies, boyfriends, and nothing really stuck. I kept coming back to my camp, summer after summer, because it was comfortable, because it was what I did straight after college and something I knew I could do well.

Sometime during this past summer though, I knew I was ready to move on. I knew that what I wanted, more than anything, was to travel and meet as many people as possible and write and and write until my hand fell off. Figuring that out was easy, actually taking the leap was the insanely difficult part.

AM: What are some issues you face on a daily/weekly/monthly basis?

NR: I tend to constantly do the “OH MY GOSH WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??” thing. Which is fun, clearly. I continue to face the big question of my generation, the “you have so much potential and so many opportunities, how are you going to make your mark?” I think I struggle with that a lot, with the feeling that I need to be incredible and that there’s some kind of timeline on it, that it should be happening rightthissecond and that I’m failing if I’m not blowing the walls off of everything at once.

AM: That seems to be a common trend among us 20-somethings, we have no idea what we are doing with our life! How have you dealt with these challenges?

NR: I’m definitely still dealing with them; it’s a consistent internal battle. The main way I try to combat it is to just be nice to myself. To realize that all I can do is the best that I can do, and that if I’m being true to myself and my values and my dreams, things will probably all fall together pretty well in the end.

AM: What have you learned so far, since your QLC began?

NR: I’ve learned that I need to rely on other people to get through it. As different as we all are, I feel that our similarities far outweigh that and at the end of everything, people are what really matter.

AM: If there is one tip you could give other women living though a  QLC, what would it be?

NR: Listen to yourself. I mean really listen. More often than not, the problem isn’t that we don’t know what we want, it’s that we don’t know how to get it, or don’t think we deserve it, or any other pile of excuses for why we’re not living our best possible life. Recognizing what you want is key, recognizing it and then respecting yourself enough to follow through with it.

AM: Thanks for sharing your story Nicole and good luck with all of your adventures.

To contact Nicole, follow her on Twitter @nicoleisbetter (She’s awesome!)

Andrea (new) bio.

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Do you Know What You Like?

posted 13th October 2009    Written by: Kendra    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kendra, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

wineThe other day I did something that mostly the unemployed are in a position to do.

I grabbed a bottle of wine and headed to a friend’s house in the middle of Wednesday afternoon. My friend and I were having an unemployed play date; an afternoon spent chatting, chilling and, yes, watching Oprah.

It was glorious.

Over the course of talking about this and that, it came up that somewhere in the past two years I had somehow lost the sense of knowing what I liked.

Case in point? A couple of weeks ago I met up with a friend for dinner and drinks and I spent a good portion of the night faking (and failing miserably) to have a good time. While the dinner portion was fantastic (particularly when we stumbled across the lovely Van Leeuwen ice cream truck and their truly resplendent ginger ice cream) the bar scene left me cold.

Somewhere over the past two years the stereotypical NYC bar scene where people go more to be seen than to interact, where drinks are dizzyingly expensive and music is pumped so loud as to render conversation nearly impossible, had transitioned from something I somewhat enjoyed to something I hated. I’d rather be at a dive bar gathered with a bunch of friends, or at a club dancing with a bunch of friends, or sequestered on a couch with a blanket, a remote control and some quality TV… I’d even take some not so quality TV.

It was kind of bizarre to find out that I no longer totally knew what I liked until my friend astutely pointed out that the things that I liked when I was 6 are not the things that I like now (sorry Gumby).

Even more recently, I hated red wine until I moved to France in 2005 and now I absolutely adore the stuff, and I was vehement in my opinion that beer tastes like urine until I moved to Vermont in 2007. Now I think nothing goes better with a plate of fries than a nice stout or perhaps a red ale. In fact, the way the brain responds to taste bud information changes every 5 to 7 years meaning there’s a whole world of foods I used to hate that I may now love, if only I’m willing to take the chance.

Our tastes and preferences change but we tend to treat ourselves as fixed objects which can leave us spinning in circles stuck in activities, routines, jobs, relationships, or even patterns of thought that used to give us pleasure, but really, no longer do. We can also find ourselves avoiding things (like stability) because we used to find it stifling. The trick, I think to staying happy is to listen to our feelings.

Does this continue to bring us pleasure, or have things shifted?

Are we doing this out of obligation or a sense of self that no longer fits?

Some preferences, I suspect, will never change. I will probably never develop a deep abiding love for condiments, cream sauces, or touch screen phones and I think I’ll always love traveling even if I get sick of economy class flights, backpacker hostels or the comfort of friend’s couches.

But for other things, the picture may have shifted and the beauty of unemployment is I’m in a position to figure out how much…   It’s a big world out there and I’m ready to figure out (again) what I like…  even if it means trying something old.

Photo credit: digimist

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Finding Your Niche

posted 12th October 2009    Written by: Robyn    CATEGORY: All Posts, Job/Career/Work, Quarterlife Crisis, Robyn, Season 1

park rangerAfter graduating from college, I visited my academic advising office where I took a career test in hopes of discovering the “right career” for me. One hundred questions later, I was told to be a marine biologist, a farmer, or a park ranger.

It took me about five minutes to cross those jobs off the list. First of all, I have an irrational fear of fish—not just sharks, but fish of any shape and size. Secondly, there is not much farmland in downtown Chicago. Lastly, there are not many parks in downtown Chicago.

I went back through my responses and paid special attention to the place where I put a check mark next to items I was passionate about. My list included: outdoors, nature, animals, and art. I attempted to think of a career that included all of these things, but in the end I found myself working for a global marketing company. Ultimately, I left myself no options except to choose between being broke or selling out to “the man” and getting a corporate job.

I was definitely too young to make this decision and now I find myself trying to turn my passions into jobs that actually pay the bills.

My inspiration is in the form of all the happy people out there who have jobs they love. Of course, the happiest people are those who have jobs that don’t seem so much like….well…jobs. These lucky people have found a way to use their talents and passions to make a living.

Most recently, my mother introduced me to the story of one of her friend’s sons, Rod. Rod is a man in his mid-twenties who is currently living in the Caribbean. His story has definitely inspired me to think outside the box and get creative when it comes to combining my future career with my passions.

Rod had been taking photos since he was a kid, and he knew that was exactly what he wanted to study in college once he graduated high school. He began taking photography classes, but found that he was learning techniques he had already mastered. After a semester, Rod dropped out of school and found a photographer to be his mentor. He worked as an unpaid photographer’s assistant in exchange for real world experience and knowledge from a working photographer. He learned more about advanced photography underneath his mentor than he had in his first semester of classes and was thrilled with his new knowledge after only six months of shadowing. He decided to go off on his own.

Rather quickly, Rod learned that it was hard to stand out among all the other photographers out there. He struggled to secure the kind of work he wanted, and he struggled to pay his bills. He questioned his career choice and whether he could make it work.

Then he decided to get creative. Rod knew he loved photography, and he knew that he needed to obtain an additional skill set so he could find his own little niche in the photography world. He combined his passion for traveling and water sports with his love for photography. He became a certified scuba diver and took a photography class that taught him to shoot underwater.

Now Rod is employed by a major swimsuit brand and paid to travel around the world, taking underwater photos for ad campaigns.

I hope that simple story inspires you to explore your own potential niche, like it has done for me!

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Update from the Road to Happiness

posted 8th October 2009    Written by: Marisa    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis, Robyn, Season 1

Marisa & roses

My road to happiness has been interesting, one paved with surprises, anxiety, confusion and excitement.

6 months ago I became a statistic. I found myself with no detailed direction, options to either pursue or reject, and a chance to live my life the way I wanted to.

I am happy.  Happier than I’ve been in a very long time and it’s because of this Quarterlife Crisis. Molly first inspired me to choose this path after learning about her QLC, and I have to say it probably wouldn’t have been the same without her.  This opportunity to blog about myself has given me a sort of perspective about choices and decisions that have affected my pursuit of happiness.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

I know I’m not done.  Reading the other experiences from my fellow QLC bloggers has helped me to feel more at ease in life, in my discovery. I’m generally excited to experience life in a whole new way, not just how it was back when I was complacent and quiet.

I make noise now.  I find noise.  I dream of noise.

And thanks to Molly and others– we can live with, grow from, and conquer a Quarterlife Crisis, instead of falling victim to it.

marisa-bio1

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