Wrinkles in Time

posted 19th November 2009 Written by: Marisa CATEGORY: All Posts, Love/Relationships, Marisa, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

badge of honor, dating a younger man, first wrinkles, getting older, Quarterlife Crisis

I woke up one day last week to a very strange sight.

There were two long, angry wrinkles shouting at me at 7am underneath my right eye.

Not cool.

Not cool man. Not cool having two things to remind me of getting older. And DEFINITELY not cool blaring and glaring at me that early in the morning.

Aging was something that I never really thought about until recently. Searching for and improving upon things in life like happiness, my dreams, my purpose has brought up issues like when or if I want to have kids, will I be able to take care of my parents when they need it, and will I still be experiencing a Quarterlife Crisis in 5, 10, or even 15 years?

I don’t want to be so superficial about something like a wrinkle…or two…but I’m finding it difficult at the moment.

My job is something that I know I shouldn’t take for granted during this time in the word, but it’s basically an entry-level position. Making less money and having kids that work with you just out of school has been making my self-esteem and confidence waver.

And I don’t like that, the wavering. It scares me.

Another age reminder of sorts is one that involves a boy. And I say boy because honestly, he’s a BOY. He’s 22 years old, wants to facebook chat all the time and kind lives a naïve life with simplistic things like music and a pizza-delivering job and free rent. But he’s sweet and adorable and best of all, he likes me and isn’t afraid to say it.

So, we’ll see how that goes. I mean, facebook first started when I was a senior in college. For him? He was a senior in high school. Things are different.

I don’t want to be nervous about aging. It can bring a lot of anxious things back up for planning the future. But can we really plan for the future? I don’t have control over most things in life, and from what I’ve learned, I can only control how I let things affect me and how I can act upon those variables.

It’s difficult to remain hopeful at times, to understand that as long as I’m happy and can be happy with whom I am as a person, life can be an interesting journey. It’s worth it though, to question and know that it’s attainable.

I still don’t want those two wrinkles, but they’re kind of like badges of honor. They’re my first signs of a club where there are many wonderful people who love and live life to the fullest. But I’m still going to try that free anti-wrinkle cream from Sephora. Just to, you know, see.