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Everyone is Born With Passion

posted 30th December 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

What is your passion? If you had to write a phrase explaining yours, what would it be?

While spending an amazing family weekend with my mom and sister in NYC, we talked a lot about the past and pondered over the future. I was still trying to come up with a topic for my Personal Statement and I think I may have found it.

I’m going to write about passion.

My passion is to mentor others, just as special people in my life have been a mentor figure for me.

I have this theory that everyone is born with passion. The challenge in life  is to discover that passion, and then really conquer it. I see too many people living passion-less lives. We only get one shot at life so why not try to find our passion in the time we’ve got, right?

If you are having a hard time figuring out your potentials passion try this excercise. Get out a piece of paper and try to fill in the blanks:

Its ok if you aren’t living your passion at this exact moment, just as long as you are aware that YOU have one and there is potential to achieve that dream someday.

It’s a tricky question, isn’t it?

It takes some serious thought. Maybe too much thought for the time you have set aside to read this Stratejoy blog, but think about it later today, tomorrow or over the next few days and see what you come up with. Write it on a little piece of paper and tuck it in your wallet. Go back and look at it from time to time.

Then, share it with me. I told you my passion and I’d love to hear yours.

Everyone is born with passion, what is yours?

photo credit : faithful chant

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Shiny, Happy, People

posted 29th December 2009    Written by: Kendra    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about happiness.

True happiness that isn’t dependent on external circumstances but rather that arises from a deep sense of internal peace.

It’s the kind of happiness that Eastern religions often call Enlightenment.

I’ve been thinking about Enlightenment because, well, I’ve realized that I don’t want my sense of peace and contentment to be dependent on external things: the right house, the right car, the right job, the right partner, or the right friends.

All of these things, while sometimes wonderful, are ephemeral. They don’t last forever and even while they last the fear of things ending can make us miserable.  It’s like this story I read years ago by Krishnamurti that just popped into my head. A man has a wonderful job, a wonderful wife, beautiful daughters, but he lives with a constant low level of anxiety. Why? He doesn’t merely love and enjoy those things, they define him. The loss of any one of these things through divorce, firing or death means death of his sense of self.  Consequently, he lives every day in vague fear and unease at the loss of these things.

“We are seldom happy with what we now have, but would go to pieces if we lost any part of it.”  -Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

This is silly.

If you take a happy kid and stick her in an amusement park she will ride the rides, and fill herself with cotton candy until she is sticky with sweet and sweat and utterly exhausted.  She knows intuitively that eventually she will lose the amusement park, but that doesn’t diminish her pleasure of the amusement park today; it actually increases it. She knows that tomorrow will bear other wonders and even if it doesn’t, she has her own imagination and spirit to keep her company.

This is something that makes sense to me intellectually and intuitively and yet as I sat here I found within me a strong resistance to the idea of even striving for that kind of deep peace. The problem, I realized, wasn’t that I was afraid to fail, but rather that I feared success.

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” – Anthony de Mello

The way we’ve positioned enlightenment, inner peace, spiritual achievement or however else you want to phrase it, is as a solitary pursuit. Achieve enlightenment and you’ll have to go live somewhere in a yurt or travel the planet trying to spread the word of your life’s lessons. You won’t want to meet the gang for beer anymore after work (will you even work?), you won’t be able to stay with your partner or spouse, you will be an insufferable know it all and in the process of becoming enlightened you will find yourself… alone.

And I think for most of us, more than anything we fear being alone.

“Happiness is a function of accepting what is.”  -Werner Erhard

“Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.”  -Robert Anthony

So let’s look at history. The two enlightened people that I know the most about offhandedly are Jesus and the Buddha neither of whom lived solitary existences. If anything, their deep spirituality propelled them forward making it easier for them to be among people; not harder.  Both found, interestingly enough that their deep sense of inner peace didn’t isolate them, but rather connected them more deeply and without fear and actually brought people to them.

Enlightened people, apparently, are attractive people.

The Buddha was even said to have something of a kicking sense of humor.

As I release the notion that my search for happiness will somehow lead to my own unhappiness, I can’t help but wonder what other deep resistances we hold that act as barriers towards our own self-development?

photo credit: donna cymek

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The First Job(s) I Ever Loved- Part 2

posted 28th December 2009    Written by: Robyn    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

Jeans, t-shirts, comfy shoes, familiar faces, friendly coworkers, inside jokes, free food and drinks, and of course…cash in hand at the end of the night—all perks of working in a restaurant or bar.

Last week I wrote about how much I loved my first jobs in the restaurant/bar industry. I wrote about how my serving and bar-tending jobs never seemed much like real work because I loved what I was doing and the people I saw every day. Most of all, I loved the team mentality and the overall sense of family.Truly working together and allowing the workplace to start feeling as familiar as your own home is an irreplaceable experience.

As I was saying before, my experiences in the industry had a great effect on me and who I am today. Being a server is tough, and if you can survive the first couple days, then you can survive and will come out of the profession stronger in the end and ready to take on anything.

My friend, Paul, was the one who convinced me to start serving to overcome my shyness. He had been a server for a while at this point, and he swore it was the reason he had kicked his nervous stuttering habit. In the beginning, he was terrified of talking to strangers, but he made himself do it. With every new table and every new customer, it got easier and easier. He was less and less nervous, and eventually he wasn’t nervous at all, and his stutter disappeared.

When I started my first serving position I was pretty young, somewhat insecure, a little fragile, and very shy. I didn’t like criticism, and I broke under pressure. Obviously, this doesn’t describe the ideal server, and that’s a fact—I definitely was not the ideal server. I hated the thought of forcing small talk with the people at my tables. I hated the idea of customers treating me like their own personal food slave.

However, eventually I toughened up. I needed to. I think most people need to. It took a couple weeks of messing up orders and spilling drinks, a couple rude comments, and a couple really bad customers, but I came out of it a better server and, most importantly, a better person. Through serving, I gained confidence and a sense of self. I found my own voice and my own personality. It was fun meeting new people constantly and striking up random conversations with random people. I loved my customers, and I actually had “regulars” come in and request me to be their server. I became close with my coworkers, and we used to rock the bar after hours.

Besides just overcoming my shyness, I started to really respect myself and demand respect from others.

Since I worked at a family-owned bar, I was actually allowed to stick up for myself when it came to rude customers or drunken men attempting to hit on me. I developed a quick wit and a snappy-I-don’t-take-crap-from-anyone attitude. Even when a customer complained that his burger wasn’t cooked right or his beer wasn’t cold enough… It was fun to say, “Chill out, Buddy. I’ll get you a new one.”

Nothing seemed to faze me—no amount of complaints could ruin my day because what was the worst that could happen? Someone would leave me a bad tip? Who cares… I’d make up for it with all the tables that loved me.

By the time I had graduated college and was looking for a job, I had been in the restaurant/bar industry for six years. I know that the skills I gained while serving definitely helped me obtain the jobs I had after college. Honestly, interviews were easy for me. I was used to having strangers ask me about myself. I was also just plain comfortable around people I didn’t know. I knew how to talk my way out of awkward silences. I knew how to find common ground with anyone. I was confident and secure and ready to try something new. Serving shaped me into a multitasking, people-person who knows what she wants.

I have continued to carry what I learned from serving with me throughout life.

If any of you readers are currently unemployed or looking for a new challenge. I would recommend serving or bartending as an excellent interim job. I can only rave about everything you will get out of it!

photo credit: Oakley WebCam

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Happy Holidays and January Excitement!

posted 22nd December 2009    Written by: Molly Hoyne    CATEGORY: All Posts, Stratejoy the Biz, Travel

What a year.  I have a lot to process and the holidays are my favorite time to do it!  I’m going home to Montana this year and look forward to my Mom’s cooking, skiing my butt off and reading the 7 books I checked out from the library.  I truly hope you’ve got something equally wonderful in store!

Wonderful in your own way of course!

We’ll be taking a break from the blog for the rest of this week so we can all celebrate, but new posts will be back online starting Monday, December 28th.  And did you guys know that this is the last month we’ll be hearing from Robyn, Kendra, Andrea and Marisa?  Season One is over at the end of January! It’s been such a journey living and learning with these four over the last 6 months.

I miss them already, but am definitely excited to introduce you to the ladies of Season Two…

I look forward to seeing you all in the New Year!  We’ve got lots of excitement for January on the books- are you in?   I sure hope so!

January Lifestyle Design

Release and Renew: Clearing the Path for an Incredible 2010

Personal Coaching Over the Phone: 3 spots still open for clients starting in January

Here’s where I’ll be until January the 4th!  Best wishes to you and your families for a fabulous holiday and a Happy New Year!

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The First Job(s) I Ever Loved- Part 1

posted 21st December 2009    Written by: Robyn    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

When I was 14 years old I was sick of babysitting, and I was eager to earn a real paycheck. I started working at a neighborhood pizza joint to make some extra money, and that was the beginning of the rollercoaster romance I would have with the restaurant industry.

At the pizza place, I immediately felt at home. The people I worked with became my closest friends. I found myself stopping by even when I didn’t have the work. I found myself hanging out with my coworkers on the weekends when we all had the day off.

And even more strangely, when I did have to work, it never seemed like work. I just had fun with my friends while we made pizzas and served customers. I loved the fast-paced yet laid back work environment, so I continued working at the pizza place for four years until I had to leave for college. Leaving my first job felt like I was closing a huge chapter in my life, and I knew I would be coming home for the summers to get back into the restaurant industry.

Sure enough, each summer I came home to work. This time I started serving and bartending at a busy bar close to my home. Once again, I loved the work. I loved the people I saw every day—my coworkers and my customers.

Each summer when I had to leave to go back to school, I was sad to leave. Something about working at a restaurant/bar makes you feel like you are part of a team. The people you work with see you have good days and bad days. They see you get angry, stressed, sad, frustrated. Then they see you get an awesome tip, have a great shift, get hit on by that regular customer over and over again.

You help each other out when things get busy or customers get difficult. You exchange stories about what you are saving your tips for. You exchange stories about your tables and your drunken customers. You bond over the whole shared experience of working in the same restaurant or bar. You share the same feelings about your job—you complain about it, but deep down you care and love every second of it.

Eventually you become much more than coworkers and much more than a team—you become family.

Even after graduating from college and starting a “real” job, I missed the restaurant industry so much that I started working one weekend night a week at a restaurant close to my apartment in the city. There I found the same close-knit team and fulfilled that personal need while doing the whole 9-to-5.

My younger sister, Holly, just graduated from college and is preparing to move back home until she finds a job. With my new flexible work schedule, I was able to spend last week in Iowa City helping her pack and move out of her apartment. In between jamming boxes full of clothes and giving resume advice and job interview tips, we took a break to grab a beer at the bar she has been bartending at for the past year.

Holly talked about how much she was going to miss the bar, her coworkers, and the regular customers. While she had started bartending for the money, the bar had turned into much more than her workplace. It had become her second home and the people she worked with became her second family.

It made me remember my days in the restaurant industry. I’m not sure how many readers have worked as servers or bartenders, but it’s something I would definitely recommend. There is no other job like it, and I am a firm believer that people who have worked in this industry are all-around better workers, better communicators, and better people.

I started in the restaurant industry more than 10 years ago. The person I am now is completely different from that person who first walked into that pizza place.

The industry shaped me and forced me to open up to people and new relationships and, ultimately, changed me for the better.

photo credit : star3112

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