Taking Time Out for Other People

posted 8th December 2009    Written by: Kendra    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kendra, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

heart on your handThe makers of the anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drug Lexapro have a handy online guide for depression screening.

I took the quiz twice.

The first time I answered the questions in the physical and mental space I was at the beginning of this month. The second time I took the quiz I as I’m feeling now.

A month ago, in their opinion I was severely, severely depressed. And now? I am currently mildly depressed. This, my friends, is what we call progress.

I am, mostly, feeling better. Nothing in my life has really changed, but I am doing much better at handling the curve balls and mood swings. I’m settling into myself, this new self that is not the naïf I was two years ago, but is not the jaded cynic I was two months ago.

I’m not happy, but I can see myself getting there.

With this newfound sense of perspective, I found myself last night for the first time in a long time thinking of someone other than myself as I said my evening prayers.

Yes, I pray before bedtime… you never know when you just might not wake up.

Anyway as I lay in bed chatting with my maker about my day, my hopes, my dreams I found myself less concerned with…myself and more concerned with other people. I found myself praying for the sorta friend who’d recently lost a parent; the vague acquaintance that I recently learned has been unemployed for six months with the awful burden of raising a family to boot, and the friend who has been unemployed for over a year.

A lot of people, people I know even… are suffering.

I think one of the upsides of the QLC – that it forces some serious soul searching – is also one of its downsides. We can get a little too caught up in our head, and that ladies and gents is a recipe both for narcissism and some serious crazy making.

Trust me.

Today in the mail a friend sent me a necklace with the word ‘believe’ on it. She said she saw it and instantly thought of me.

I cried.

While it’s important to take some time out for self, it’s important also I think to take time out for others. To remind people, even people we don’t know so well, even people we don’t really like, that they matter.

Because they do. And so do you.

kendra-bio1

photo credit : wolfsoul

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Comments (6)

6 Responses to “Taking Time Out for Other People”

  • Heather Rae Says:
    December 8th, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    I find this is so true. When I’m feeling down, it always helps to stop thinking about myself and start thinking about other people. Even helping someone in a small way makes a huge difference in my mood! Thanks for sharing this. :)

  • Renae Says:
    December 8th, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    I needed to read this today Kendra :) You, like your writing, are simply amazing :) I hope life is treating you right!

  • Molly Hoyne Says:
    December 8th, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    Kendra- LOVE this line– “We can get a little too caught up in our head, and that ladies and gents is a recipe both for narcissism and some serious crazy making.”

    I think it’s totally important to be self aware & working through your “stuff(obviously, with what I do) but you can’t operate in a closed off state of mind. A state of mind where all you consider is you. You’ll drive yourself crazy looping through your thoughts until they escalate into a whirlpool of doubt, fear, escapism…

    Being in the present, acutely aware of those around you, of others’ needs, dreams, heartache, is such a grounded way to operate.

    Thanks for the reminder.

  • Erica Says:
    December 9th, 2009 at 9:18 am

    I am 28 and currently in the midst of my QLC; I am feeling this exact way right now. Thank you for being able to put it into words.

  • Star Says:
    December 9th, 2009 at 11:27 am

    Kendra,
    You are truly a beautiful woman!
    I’d give you a huge hug if I could. I believe that’s the key… It is to look at our lives and realize most of us have it much better then others. Keep them in your prayers as I will also. We need to be the change we want to see.
    Love to you my sister!
    - Star*

  • Kendra Says:
    December 10th, 2009 at 9:24 am

    Star, if you could give me a big hug I’d take it. I LOVE hugs , lol.

    Renae, are you trying to make me cry again? :-P

    Erica and Heather Rae, I love hearing when other people feel similarly. It’s also nice to share the crasy :)

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