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Are You Having a Quarterlife Crisis?

posted 29th January 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Molly, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2

Fact:  The Quarterlife Crisis is a real experience of Gen Y, of women in their twenties and early thirties.

Fact:  You are not alone. If you feel disconnected from your life, not sure what the fuck you’re supposed to do next, disappointed that your day-to-day isn’t living up to all the expectations you had for it, have that eerie feeling that there should be something more, are overwhelmed by all the possibilities out there, or just feel totally unlike your awesome self–Yup, we get it. Been there.

Fact: The Quarterlife Crisis is the a Rite of Passage. Embrace it. Use it to grow and learn and laugh hysterically that you make ends meet by dressing up like a Cheddar Cheese Loaf while pursuing your painting on the side.  Hey, it’s YOUR life!

Fact:  This article explains the intricacies of today’s Quarterlife Crisis.

If you’re a familiar face around Stratejoy, you know that we’ve had Robyn, Kendra, Andrea and Marisa writing about their day to day experience of conquering, or at least surviving, their QLC for the past 6 months.  Well, today it’s time to welcome three new women to “Season 2″! Without further ado, I am thrilled to introduce you to Nicole Antoinette, Heather Rae, and Katie!

Season 2 Guest Bloggers

These woman are gutsy. They’re helping spread the word that the Quarterlife Crisis happens to the best of us and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that fact.  They’re helping challenge the stigma that this “crisis” is considered a failure and that somehow we could have avoided it, if only we had everything figured out.

Those of us who have experienced/are experiencing a QLC haven’t failed.  We are not selfish Gen Yers wallowing in some perceived notion that life should be handed to us on golden platter. We’re not blaming our parents and our education for encouraging us to go after it all.

We’re simply admitting we don’t have it “figured out” at a time in our lives when we thought we would. And we are gutsy enough to take control of our happiness.

And as long as you don’t allow your Quarterlife Criris to take you down and out, you will be stronger, healthier and happier for it.  It will force you to really think about your life, to challenge expectations and to carve out your own definition of success.

These women — Nicole, Heather, Katie– are living proof of that.

What I ask of you?  Participate! Join in the conversation here on the blogs.  Become part of the community on Facebook. Interact with all of us on Twitter ( Nicole, Heather, Katie and me, Molly)!  Let your voice, your opinion, your experience be heard.  Share, learn and laugh your ass off with us.

Get excited!  They’re going LIVE next week!

Do you love the new Bio Boxes as much as I do?  All credit goes to the rockstar duo at Shatterboxx Media: Jamie Varon and our very own Nicole Antoinette! They’ve been amazing to work with and you’ll definitely be seeing some more collaboration between Stratejoy & Shatterboxx.

Shatterboxx Media is a graphic and web design company that thrives at the intersection of simplistic design and functionality. Specializing in the creation of gorgeous, multi-functional, and powerful websites, Shatterboxx is passionate about bringing inspired ideas to life.

So, who are these talented foxes?

Jamie Varon- Founder, Design Maven, Ultimate Typography Snob. Jamie is the pixelated pioneer behind the company’s entire portfolio of tricked out websites.  Nicole Antoinette- Chief Idea Officer & Princess of Particulars. Nicole, the newer half of the Shatterboxx duo, is the company’s gatekeeper and can usually be bribed with brownies and links to funny YouTube videos.

Thumbnail Credit : Eye Weekly

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This Is My World

posted 28th January 2010    Written by: Marisa    CATEGORY: All Posts, Marisa, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

When Molly first asked me to write for Stratejoy, I had just started to live my life.

And by living, I mean recognizing what I could do at the time without a job, without much direction and finally, without any excuses.

My one-year anniversary is coming up from when I was “let go”.  I’m not quite sure what it was about that event that physically shook me awake from my stupor of complacency.  Regardless, I’m supremely grateful that I was awake enough to take that chance, a chance that most people don’t receive or perhaps recognize if offered, and to run with it.

Not only did I run with it, I chose to make an Olympic event of it for the coming months and for 2010. By writing these past six months, I was able to look at myself introspectively and objectively in order to guide my journey.

I chose one main goal back in 2009: Happiness.

I had never been happy in my early adulthood and always remained thinking that I either never really understood what it meant or perhaps that I didn’t deserve it.  Achieving this goal and maintaining the search has been arduous.

I’ve been up, I’ve been down, and I’ve even been sidetracked or derailed a few times, but I’ve never given up.  You see, I now know what it is to be happy and I can’t-WON’T-give it up without a fight.

I have to thank Molly and the other bloggers; I never really knew what a Quarterlife Crisis was until I was thick in the shit of it, and reading about others’ experiences with it was a type of godsend. It’s about control for me and I had lost it at the very beginning of my crisis.

I found it again after examining, really examining who I am, what I am, and how I’m living my life.

Molly is such a great example of someone who faced that fear of the unknown, but knew her vision and went for it.  This is someone who helped shaped my past six months, and for this I will be eternally grateful.  She deserves every good thing in this world and I can’t wait to see her reap the benefits and rewards for her efforts in following her dreams and passions.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next six months.

What I do know is that I am a stronger, more confidant and happier person compared to that girl who existed last year.  I’ve learned to expect the unexpected, control what you can, and live life as much as possible with friends, passion, food and music. And I’ve learned it’s okay to go through crap.  We will all have to deal with the negative and the worst of the lot, but it’s how you bounce back, how you live every day because you have to, and how you treat others.

I’m not quite sure what’s going to happen now, but I do know I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.  And with this, the happiness I feel and radiate, I can do anything and achieve everything. I’ve never thought or believed that before.  But I do now.  It’s a hell of feeling I tell you.

I am excited.

I’ll end this post with some of aptly appropriate lyrics from local and personal favs The Thermals:

This is my world, it’s my own
The only thing I’ve ever known
This is my world, it’s all mine
My direction, my design
I alone know the code
It’s in my head, it’s in my hold
All this beauty that you see
Starts right here, it comes from me

This is my world.

Marisa

[Marisa. I'm sending you such a big virtual hug right now!!  You were the only blogger I knew personally before this adventure began, and it's been so amazing watching you grow, explore and really fight for your happiness.  Talk about inner transformation!  You've found your voice.  You've realized your incredible potential.  You've still got the best bangs in Portland...   Simply put, the whole world is before you.  And guess what?  You're diving in.  You're making it count.  Thank you for sharing your journey.  Don't be a stranger.  Love,  Molly]

photo credit : tuppus

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One Door Closes and I Wait For Another To Open

posted 27th January 2010    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

“Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
–Robert Frost

Writing for Stratejoy has been one of the best learning experiences of my life. Deep down I am a writer, it’s what I’ve always done…The past 6 months have helped me become an even better writer. This journey has helped me to find my inner voice, which for a writer, is sometimes difficult to do.

Stratejoy has helped me live a better life.

It has truly helped me to focus, sort out things in my head and most of all, find direction. Looking back, I have come to accept that life changes at a rapid pace. Things are so different now then they were six months ago and honestly, that is great!

Before, I would have developed massive anxiety about change and now, I welcome it…. I almost look forward to it. Change is all about one door closing and another presenting itself- be it an obvious door, a hidden door or some type of masked camouflage door. It all depends on how you look at it.

The biggest lesson I have learned through my Joy Plan and writing for Stratejoy, is to be true to yourself. No one can tell you what to do and no one else, but yourself, can make decisions. At the end of the day your life is really up to you.

I’ll be the first to admit though, this can be a huge struggle. I am still struggling with the concept, each and everyday, but it’s a good struggle. It’s a learning process, a Quarterlife Crisis process.

Everyday I remind myself that this is my life.

Think about that idea and for the next few days I invite you to listen to yourself. Take some time to really reflect, you are the only person who knows YOU best. We all have ups and downs, decisions to make, paths to choose. Go with your heart and don’t think about anyone else. The doors are open for you and you only.

As for me, when the next door or path presents itself, I know I’ll be ready. For now though, I’m still here listening, writing, reflecting and waiting.

I’m doing my best to live life for me.

On a final note, I did want to say thank you to everyone at Stratejoy, especially Molly, for inviting me to be part of such a wonderful group of gutsy girls. This is my last post for Stratejoy for now. I am so sad to know I won’t have the opportunity to write at least once a week about my chaotic, fun, crazy life! (No, that is not even a joke!)

I will be writing random updates here and there though, so no worries, I’m not gone forever. I may even make my own personal blog live!

I’d like to welcome and and wish a very good friend of mine, Kelly, good luck as part of Season 2 Stratejoy Bloggers. You will all love her, I am sure. We come from the same hometown and have very recently become friends… actually as a result of both of our Quarterlife Crisis adventures.

Check back to read about her QLC. She’s quite daring and has a special someone in Texas… just like me!

These past 6 months have been an adventure and it was amazing to share, especially with all of you.

Pax et Bonun
(Peace & Goodness)

Andrea

[Andrea, I loved having you as part of the team.  Your wit, you sparkle, your zest for life...  All obvious, all inspiring.  You've got a lot of big changes ahead of you and it was incredible to be part of the journey as you started to "figure things out for yourself".  Believe me when I say this- YOU have made a difference in our lives! Thank You.  Love, Molly]

photo credit : aunto

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The Road Goes Ever On and On

posted 26th January 2010    Written by: Kendra    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kendra, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

Six months ago when I first started writing for Stratejoy I thought that by now I’d have a great job, be living in a great apartment, surrounded by amazing people – i.e my life before I moved back to New York.

That reality hasn’t happened.

I’m still unemployed, chilling with the parents an uncomfortable commute away from my friends. I still feel as though my life is a mass of unconnected dots and like I’m having a hard time finding a pen never mind figuring out the pattern I’m supposed to discern from the mass of dots which I swear move when I’m not looking.

It feels a bit like trying to pin the tail on the bucking bronco.

I am, I keep reminding myself, exactly where I need to be. The six months that I’ve spent writing for Stratejoy (and doing my own Joy Plan) have really forced me to take a good hard look at myself and at how I relate to the world. I’ve done a lifetime worth of soul searching and have managed to cultivate a level of patience the Dalai Lamai himself would envy. Sometimes, like right now, I even find myself being taken over by a deep sense of peace.

And, while a life unexamined is not a life worth living, there is such a thing as too much introspection. You can get caught up in your own head, and doing that introspection on a public platform can I think feed the crazies. As the wise Miley Cyrus (yeah I said wise) put it, can get easy to stop living for moments and start living for people.

While sharing my life and my thoughts the past few months have been really helpful in terms of finding my center and my own sense of peace (as well as helping me recognize that I’m not alone), I feel as though I’m at a place where I need to back off a little bit.

Much as a caterpillar enters a chrysalis to emerge a beautiful butterfly, I feel I need a break from publicly examining my own life, to enter into my own cocoon so that I can find my own inner butterfly.

It is, I think, impossible to truly transform while people are watching.

So thank you reader for being a part in my journey, for reading, for commiserating and I hope for laughing a little. It’s been a joy and an honor and I wish you best on your own journey.

In my heart of hearts I am a SciFi/Fantasy dork so I think closing with this quote from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings would be fitting:

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

With much peace and love,

[Kendra.  It's hard for me to sit here and not be moved by your "outer struggle" right now.  The part that allows me to make peace with it?  I know you've been undergoing some incredible inner growth.  The clarity and beauty of your posts have given all of us an incredible glimpse into your challenges, as well as your celebrations.  Believe me when I say this--that mass of dots?  Soon enough it will connect itself into a beautiful picture.  A stunning representation of your right life.  I believe it in my heart of hearts.  Thank you for sharing such an intimate slice of your reality.  It's been an inspiration and a source of many discussions in my world.  Love, Molly]

photo credit: Vicki’s Nature

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Happiness in the Moment, Hope for the Future.

posted 25th January 2010    Written by: Robyn    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis, Robyn, Season 1

It’s hard to believe that this is my last blog.

I have been blogging for Stratejoy for six months now, and the time has flown by despite tons of changes.

Writing a weekly blog has really helped me put things into perspective. I started writing for Molly at a time when I was completely unhappy with my work situation.  I was bored, lost, unchallenged, and confused about what I should do to fix things.

After much encouragement from friends and family and after plenty of long brainstorming and researching sessions, I decided I could do it—I could leave my crappy corporate job and figure out a plan for myself later.

Sure, I have made gutsy moves like this before.  I’m no stranger to dropping everything in order to travel or try something new, but this was probably one of the more gutsy moves I have ever made. Not only was I dropping a steady job in the middle of an economic downturn, but also dropping my only source of income despite being a new homeowner and having no immediate plan of action once I walked out of my office doors.

I can honestly say it was the best decision I have ever made.

There were definitely times when I questioned whether I had done the right thing or made the smartest choice, but I managed to make ends meet.  I picked up freelance work and odd jobs while attempting to piece together my next move.  I took time to travel and explore and find new inspirations in a different part of the world.

I definitely dealt with my fair share of raised eyebrows and perplexed looks, but I never let those things lead me to question my decisions or myself.

I tried to keep in mind that my ultimate goal was to find happiness in the moment and hope and inspiration for the future.  I truly believe that there are millions of ways to reach that ultimate point of happiness and satisfaction, and I think I have learned that it’s very different for each person.

I am definitely on the right path, but I still have plenty of things to figure out.  Most importantly though, I am positive that I have figured out the right attitude needed to be happy with life—even with all the ups and downs, and that’s my biggest accomplishment yet. I’m sure the rest will fall into place as long as I continue on with that attitude.

At the current moment, I am considering going back to school.  I have a couple meetings set up this week in order to learn more about some programs I am interested in.  Not sure what will come of it or what direction I may end up going, but I’m confident I will know what’s right for me…

The hard part is just finding it!

In the meantime, I did something crazy.  I booked a 2-week trip to San Juan, Puerto Rico.  I leave in a week.  It’s a 26th birthday present to myself.  I just can’t get enough sunshine…

[Robyn-- It's been an amazing journey and I thank you for sharing your trials and tribulations with us over the last 6 months.  You've made some big changes and taken some gutsy moves to carve out a path that is authentic and joyful.  So proud!  So inspired!  So on your side!  I just wanted to take a quick moment to say Thank You.  From all of us, Thank You.  And best of luck as you dive into your next journey!  Keep us in the loop...  Love,  Molly]

photo-credit:  m-c

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