Letting Go is the Goal

posted 5th January 2010    Written by: Kendra    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kendra, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

For months now only one thought has propelled me forward: 2010.

I have wanted to put the general crappiness of 2009 in my rearview mirror since at least August.

Consequently, I’ve spent a lot of December preparing for the tweenies aka 2010.

I went through box after box of my stuff in storage and weeded out the things I no longer needed, culling from an ever dwindling amount of stuff.

I gave books and clothes to charity, stepped up my meditation practice, took several cleansing bath, enacted a solstice ritual, went belly dancing (whoops that was just for fun), saw a reiki healer (an interesting experience), and even dabbled with the thought of returning to my Catholic roots and going to confession.

Except I couldn’t figure out what to confess, `cause yep I’m just that angelic.

And now, just a handful of days into 2010 guess what? Nothing’s changed. I’ve manifested no miracles. I’m still at the same temp job, still putting in hours of ‘I thought I’d outgrown this’ retail work, still coasting on my parents couch and feeling the deep sting of disappointment that comes from yet  another round of employment rejection.

So, for 2010 I’ve made loads of private resolutions, but the one I’m willingly to publicly state is that my goal of for 2010 is to let go.

Let go of what?

Of everything. Of the person that I used to be and the person that I’d thought I’d become, of the job that I thought I’d have, of the way I believed I’d be living, of the people that I thought I’d be sharing my life with.

Because none of that is where I am right now and focusing on that, on what I wanted instead of what I have, is just making me feel worse.

So instead, I’m just going to get very still and very quiet and let life unfurl itself before me. It’s going to do so regardless.

photo credit

Bookmark and Share
Comments (4)

4 Responses to “Letting Go is the Goal”

  • Katie Says:
    January 5th, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is being in the moment. Trying not to worry about tomorrow, or the next day, or even the next hour. That worrying made me miss out on so many “in the moment” moments.

    Glad you’re doing the same! Awesome post, Kendra!

  • Jane @ The Borrowed Abode Says:
    January 5th, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    Sorry to hear you’re struggling with the unemployment bug. That’s a tough situation. But I have to agree with you – it’s healthy to let go of expectations of what your life “should” be – and just enjoy it for what it is. We can never ever predict where life will take us. . .

  • Maryse Says:
    January 6th, 2010 at 4:51 am

    Life does unfurl whether we are present or not. When we move from our joyful core it has a way of unfurling happily. Best wishes for 2010. Go see my post on happiness: http://www.bluamaryllis.wordpress.com. It will lift you up!
    thanks!
    Maryse

  • Kendra Says:
    January 6th, 2010 at 6:48 am

    Jane, I like that you call it the unemployment bug. Makes it sound like a cold I’ll get over eventually :)

    Katie…how about worrying about the next second ;)

Leave a Reply

name*


email* (will not be published)


website


comments