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How To Create a Guiding Theme for 2010

posted 18th January 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Molly, Tips & Tools

Everyone has their own New Year’s ritual: creating resolutions or themes, embarking on a major decluttering of physical and emotional space, or perhaps casting all self realization aside in favor of football and hair of the dog all day long…

I used to be a resolution setter.

I would haul out those familiar goals year after year, and promise myself this would be the year! This would be the year that I would reach my goal weight, that I would meditate every day for 30 minutes, that I would stop watching television and refrain from eating sugar.

Seriously.

Those were my life changing resolutions.

Mix in the fact that I never actually managed to accomplish any of those resolutions for very long and you’ll see why I said I USED to be a resolution setter.  All I ended up doing was beating myself up over failing. And failing again.

My Negative Nellie had a heyday with my resolutions…

Perhaps I was setting the wrong resolutions.  Perhaps I needed to really investigate the “Why’s” behind my resolutions.  Perhaps it was just ridiculous to hold myself to such strict, all or nothing, goals. All I know is that I gave them up a few years back.

Of course, I still have goals.  I still work on creating powerful habits (such as meditating and watching less crap television) that allow me to live the life I desire.  But resolutions?  Out of here.

Instead, I create a Guiding Theme. It’s something I’ve done for a few years (See 2009- Live Deliberately), but this was the first year I sought some outside opinions on the best way to create a theme.  I signed up for an awesome Guest Guide Call with Cairene MacDonald at Third Hand Works and her life coach, Lisa Burkey and it was just what I needed!   Many thanks Ladies for the an awesome, jam packed call.

I was able to take the inspiration shared on the call and combine it with my own practices for this-

The Quick Guide to Creating a Theme for 2010

Ready? First, a little background:

1. Visualize Your Way to Wisdom.

Start by doing the following visualization: Close your eyes, relax for a few minutes until your mind clears, and then visualize yourself talking to a “Future You”. “Future You” is yourself one year from now. Perhaps she has a new haircut, a new home, and new job. Perhaps she’s just wise enough to know what you need to hear to help you create an incredible 2010.

Approach her gently.  Sit down with her and share a drink.  Ask “Future You” how she is feeling about the past year, about 2010.  Ask her what she’s most proud of in the last year.  Ask her what you need to know to make this upcoming year a success? Ask her for words of wisdom. Ask her if there is anything else you should know. Listen carefully as “Future You” answers your questions.  When you’re done, thank her for sharing, and gently come back to the present.

(Visualizations may be hard without a guide, but do your best!  And I know, I know-  you’re thinking, “Mooooolllllyyyy– this is woo woo. I can’t talk to my future self. What?! That doesn’t even make sense. It won’t work…”  Maybe.  Maybe not. But it can be a powerful way of tapping into your own intuition.  When I led this visualization during the Release and Renew event (see Picture above!), there were several women with tears in their eyes at the end.  They gave up any notion of it not “working” and just tried.  I ask you do to the same!)

After the visualization, take time to jot some notes about what you learned.  This is all good fodder for creating a guiding theme!

2. Remind Yourself about the Awesome.

Creating a theme is about uncovering your authentic self instead of improving yourself.

Why?  Becuase lovely ladies, you are already enough.  You are already amazing and whole and AWESOME– your theme is just meant to discover or rediscover part of you that’s ready to shine! That needs to be seen! It’s about expanding or enhancing what is already true.

Embrace who you in this moment and cultivate a curiosity about what is yet to emerge. That is your next challenge. Spend some time journaling about the following questions:

3. Push it.

Your theme should require a healthy stretch from you. It should make you push it (whether that’s in action, faith, choices, slowing down, or creativity) a little bit each day.

There’s part of you that is just waiting to emerge and your theme allows it to come forward.   Your theme demands that you perform on a higher level, in a way to respects the authentic you- not the you that feels bogged down in to do lists, stressed out by your bitchy boss, or deflated by the latest first date disaster.

The you that knows what extraordinary things you’re capable of every single day.

To put this point in motion-  ask yourself a few questions as you mull over possible themes.

4. Putting it all together.

I can’t really help you here.

Everyone has their own process for actually selecting a theme.  I start mulling over powerful language, scribbling phrases in journals/workbooks/napkins, and asking myself, “What is it time for?” weeks before the New Year.  I sleep on things, I journal about them, I decide on one and then a few days later change my mind.

All I know is that when you land on one- it feels right.  It physically settles into you and becomes the answer to tough questions.

From one Gutsy Girl to another- I’d like to share my 2010 Theme.

Go Big: Outrageous Faith, Empowered Action.

It’s calling me to stop acting small, to stop doubting my contribution.  It’s inspiring me to move forward in all aspects of my life: creating a extraordinary relationship with the Big Man, rediscovering my inner athlete, embracing my creativity in dance, art, writing, and of course going big here at Stratejoy.

My theme reminds me to trust myself and continue down this path I’m on.  But to do it bigger, bolder, with more pizazz that I ever have.

Go Big or Go Home!

My challenge to YOU?  Create a theme and then declare it.  Share it in the comments!  Post in on your Facebook Wall!  Post it on our Facebook Wall, for that matter!

Looking for a little more inspiration?  Check out these Tribe Member’s Post on Themes:

Heather Rae:  A Little Fancy Tickling and an All or Nothing Year
Ardith:  Believe in the Impossible
Erin: The Year of Personal Power

And I’ll leave you with this…

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”  –Marianne Williamson

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Northwest Dust Bunnies

posted 14th January 2010    Written by: Marisa    CATEGORY: All Posts, Marisa, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1, What I've Learned

When I first moved to Oregon almost 10 years ago, I was stunned by the massive amounts of dust that collected inside a home.  Sure, I lived in a prison cell sized dorm room with another person in super close proximity, but still, it was shocking. It continued when I moved into a larger house with roomies after moving out of the dorms…  Those dust bunnies amassed to dust bunny armies, way more than what I was used to in Nevada.

It caused a new tradition of sorts every year.

I clean during the winter: clean to get rid of that dust, get rid of material items that weigh me down, and get rid of the dust that settles figuratively in my head.

I’ve had a lot of dust these past years, most of it I’ve swept underneath the carpet only to have it pile up and cloud my mind recently.

This year’s clean out is especially special. It’s the one wear I honestly look around my surroundings and make some decisions to affect this single life of mine.

So far I’ve been able to materialistically place a very neat pile of items on the North side of my apartment.  This fort of past wonders is for Goodwill and contains the 2008 & 2009 Marisa of unused clothes and furniture that could be of better use for someone else.  It’s funny giving up these items; they contain memories of where and when I bought them but hold no sentimental value really.  They are in fact just things and I’m learning that heavy materialism is no longer a part of my vocabulary. In fact, things look lighter and more open, just as hardwood floors should.

That was the easy part– moving furniture, sweeping floors and using citrus polish to make things look pretty and shiny.

What’s hardest for me is shaking all that dust that I’ve collected emotionally over the years. I can admit now that being up here for the past three years without experiencing any real romantic relationship with someone has been well, lonely.  I swept myself to the side, always excusing my life with reasons like a heavy workload, only finding insanely lazy Portland guys and the worst of all, the worst thing a young woman can do to herself, succumbing to a lack of confidence, that low self-esteem that says I was not worthy of finding such happiness.

But no more!  I’m going to do it.  I’m taking that layer of dust off, swiffering myself with a new environmentally friendly, cranberry scented cleanser, and I’m changing and challenging things starting NOW. I’ve been building up to it too-going on dates, meeting new people, figuring out exactly what I want and hopefully what I need.

It’s going to be difficult I think, to stay shiny and dust-free for a bit.  And I’m bound to meet some more dusty guys, but hey, Spring-cleaning is only three months away.

I can totally do a quick swiffer then.  Just in time for SXSW.

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Keep What Really Matters

posted 13th January 2010    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

I was inspired by Kendra’s post in August about giving it all away and made it a goal to downsize my life before the turn of the new year.

It wasn’t easy, but I spent a weekend and went through my entire room. I was able to get rid of clothes, shoes, bags, belts, jewelry- so much that I hadn’t actually used. I was shocked at all the extra material ‘things’ I had in my possession. It made me realize that I don’t actually need, or want ‘things.’

I had 8 bags of unused ‘things’ just sitting around cluttering my life. It felt so good to get rid of them. I donated it all to Goodwill so I hope ‘things’ that were of no use to me, may be able to help someone else.

It made me see that things sort of tie you down. They hold you back and usually remind you of the past. I want to change my mentality where I hold on to things. It’s time to grow up, move on and get rid of the stuff.

I’ve always been envious of people who didn’t need things to keep them happy. I want to be one of those people.

I’m learning that people and places make me happy, memories make me happy- not things. One day I will only have a small pile of things. A pile so small that if I want to pack up and move or visit an exotic country I wouldn’t need many things. I won’t feel so attached to material possessions.

I won’t even miss them!

I have a simple strategy to figure out what can stay and what can go: every few weeks I look around at my ‘things’ and take a few of them I haven’t used in months and put them in a bag. Then, I put that bag in the trunk of my car (or someplace where I won’t see it everyday.) If a few more months go by and I still don’t realize these things are gone, they get donated to Goodwill or sold online or unloaded through this nifty network of people giving things away called Freecycle.

Try it sometime. It’s worked for me. Memories will always be there, you don’t need ‘things’ to remind you of the good times (or the bad!). Take some time this month and start your 2010 off right.

Downsize your life and keep what really matters.


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The Beauty of Pain

posted 12th January 2010    Written by: Kendra    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kendra, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

My freshman year of college floor mate, a short distance track runner who had turned down an acceptance from West Point but still had the discipline to match a military school cadet, had placed a homemade sign above her desk which read:

Pain is the weakness leaving your body.

It is one of those cliché’s that run through fitness circles that I, as a recovering anti-exercise activist (I still hate gyms) used to alternate between mocking and merely ignoring.

But the other day as my DVD trainer (i.e. the trainer leading the way on my new exercise DVD), pointed out that stress is what strengthens our body; I realized that my friend’s sign had within it a kernel of truth. Pain is the weakness leaving the body, and stress is what we need to strengthen us.

Yes, there is good stress and bad stress and like anything in life such a thing as too much stress, but ultimately we tend to talk about stress as a bad thing when really, stress can be good. The stress of a Quarterlife Crisis for example can allows us to become stronger, more centered, more generous, more grounded human beings.

This isn’t a given.

Emotional stress can beat us down and take away our light, just like physical stress can lead to breaks, strains, sprains and other physical injuries.

For example, I recently caught a talk show episode about women with sleeping pill addictions. Most of these women had gone to the doctor with real sleep issues that had spiraled into a physical addiction spurred on by a complex of situation (insomnia) and poor handling by their doctors. Their emotional stress had led to well, more stress.

But watching them me realize how lucky I was that my own dalliance with insomnia led me not to addiction, but to a shift in habits. I’ve learned how to cope with stress through meditation, exercise, and a host of other positive behaviors that I’m sure will serve to help me in the future as I come into contact with more of life’s hiccups.

In other words, this round of emotional stress has made me a stronger human being.

I just haven’t been able to see it because of the pain that comes with it, much as we often don’t feel stronger in the days immediately after a tough workout because the strength is obscured by sore muscles.

Viewing emotional stress, not as a negative, but as a round of emotional weight lifting is an interesting shift in thinking and one that moves us from the role of Victim to Actor. And I for one find that this is a role that I may not relish but can more easily sink my teeth into.

That said, I’d still much rather lay on my couch with a pint of cookie dough ice cream in tow then deal with weight lifting: emotional or otherwise.

photo credit : lanraga

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The Meaning of “La Pura Vida”

posted 11th January 2010    Written by: Robyn    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis, Robyn, Season 1, Travel

In a lazy beach bar two men clink their beers together and say “La Pura Vida.” As I exit the local bus and thank the driver for the ride, he responds with, “La Pura Vida.” Even when locals can’t understand my Spanglish mixed with my Midwestern accent, they shrug their shoulders and reply, “La Pura Vida.”

It can be heard everywhere around Costa Rica. It means pure life, good life. I think I would compare it to the Australians’ use of “No worries.” Both phrases seem to acknowledge that life is good. There is no need to dwell on anything but the present moment and all that is sweet in life.

So what have I been doing? I started my travels in San Jose and from there moved on to Manuel Antonio. I hiked through Manuel Antonio National Park, saw monkeys, discovered a deserted beach, and I spent New Year’s Eve on the beach.

With a DJ mixing in the background, hundreds of people gathered to celebrate the New Year at a giant BYOB party that ended with fireworks and streaking into the ocean at midnight. It will be hard to ever top that kind of celebration!

From Manuel Antonio, I headed to Montezuma–the physical definition of “La Pura Vida.” Montezuma is a small hippie town on the beach. Everyone knows everyone, and they welcome travelers with open arms. People are known to plan a visit to Montezuma and instead, end up staying forever. The people who live there give new meaning to “laid back” and “stress-free.”

During my visit there, I stayed at a hostel right on the coast. I went to sleep to the sound of waves, and I woke up to the sound of waves. Each morning I hiked along the coast into town to get myself a smoothie for breakfast. After only a couple days, faces became familiar. I knew people’s stories. I knew where they lived, what they did for work, and how they ended up in Montezuma.

I decided I couldn’t leave after only a couple days, so I reorganized my trip to allow for a few extra days to be spent in Montezuma. I ended up doing a strenuous 4 hour coastal hike to a waterfall. I got to stand beneath the fresh water as it fell and hit the rocks and then rolled into the ocean.

I’ve spent most of my days soaking up sun, swimming in the ocean, attempting to body surf the crazy waves, and collecting seashells. I’ve enjoyed my fair share of reggae music and mojitos. I’ve tried each tiny restaurant in thee area, and I’ve tried to improve my Spanish as much as I can by talking to locals.

I’ve relaxed, cleared my mind, and become inspired by a new way of living.

Yesterday I decided it was time to move on, so now I am writing this blog from a café in Monteverde. In a couple hours I will be doing a canopy tour of the rainforest via zip line! I’m trying not to think of returning to the freezing Chicago weather…

Instead- I’m living in the moment and soaking up all that is La Pura Vida so that I can bring the attitude back with me.

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