This Is My World

posted 28th January 2010    Written by: Marisa    CATEGORY: All Posts, Marisa, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

When Molly first asked me to write for Stratejoy, I had just started to live my life.

And by living, I mean recognizing what I could do at the time without a job, without much direction and finally, without any excuses.

My one-year anniversary is coming up from when I was “let go”.  I’m not quite sure what it was about that event that physically shook me awake from my stupor of complacency.  Regardless, I’m supremely grateful that I was awake enough to take that chance, a chance that most people don’t receive or perhaps recognize if offered, and to run with it.

Not only did I run with it, I chose to make an Olympic event of it for the coming months and for 2010. By writing these past six months, I was able to look at myself introspectively and objectively in order to guide my journey.

I chose one main goal back in 2009: Happiness.

I had never been happy in my early adulthood and always remained thinking that I either never really understood what it meant or perhaps that I didn’t deserve it.  Achieving this goal and maintaining the search has been arduous.

I’ve been up, I’ve been down, and I’ve even been sidetracked or derailed a few times, but I’ve never given up.  You see, I now know what it is to be happy and I can’t-WON’T-give it up without a fight.

I have to thank Molly and the other bloggers; I never really knew what a Quarterlife Crisis was until I was thick in the shit of it, and reading about others’ experiences with it was a type of godsend. It’s about control for me and I had lost it at the very beginning of my crisis.

I found it again after examining, really examining who I am, what I am, and how I’m living my life.

Molly is such a great example of someone who faced that fear of the unknown, but knew her vision and went for it.  This is someone who helped shaped my past six months, and for this I will be eternally grateful.  She deserves every good thing in this world and I can’t wait to see her reap the benefits and rewards for her efforts in following her dreams and passions.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next six months.

What I do know is that I am a stronger, more confidant and happier person compared to that girl who existed last year.  I’ve learned to expect the unexpected, control what you can, and live life as much as possible with friends, passion, food and music. And I’ve learned it’s okay to go through crap.  We will all have to deal with the negative and the worst of the lot, but it’s how you bounce back, how you live every day because you have to, and how you treat others.

I’m not quite sure what’s going to happen now, but I do know I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.  And with this, the happiness I feel and radiate, I can do anything and achieve everything. I’ve never thought or believed that before.  But I do now.  It’s a hell of feeling I tell you.

I am excited.

I’ll end this post with some of aptly appropriate lyrics from local and personal favs The Thermals:

This is my world, it’s my own
The only thing I’ve ever known
This is my world, it’s all mine
My direction, my design
I alone know the code
It’s in my head, it’s in my hold
All this beauty that you see
Starts right here, it comes from me

This is my world.

Marisa

[Marisa. I'm sending you such a big virtual hug right now!!  You were the only blogger I knew personally before this adventure began, and it's been so amazing watching you grow, explore and really fight for your happiness.  Talk about inner transformation!  You've found your voice.  You've realized your incredible potential.  You've still got the best bangs in Portland...   Simply put, the whole world is before you.  And guess what?  You're diving in.  You're making it count.  Thank you for sharing your journey.  Don't be a stranger.  Love,  Molly]

photo credit : tuppus

Bookmark and Share
Comments (2)

2 Responses to “This Is My World”

  • Heather Rae Says:
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:38 am

    I LOVE those lyrics! So perfect for this post. Thanks so much for writing over the past months – I’ve really enjoyed reading your posts!

  • Marisa Says:
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Thanks for the Thanks! It’s been an interesting journey and I’m so honored Molly thought of me all those months.

Leave a Reply

name*


email* (will not be published)


website


comments