Finding Balance through my Core Values

posted 3rd March 2010    Written by: Heather Rae    CATEGORY: Heather Rae, Job/Career/Work, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2

I’ve gone from one extreme to the next.

The first couple of weeks after leaving my day job, I felt unorganized, somewhat scattered.  I had difficulty managing my time, and I wasn’t focusing on my writing projects as much as I would have liked.

With a little effort, I found a few ways to turn that around.  I started getting up early and setting specific times that I had to get work done.  I closed the door and thus closed myself off from the world.

I worked, worked, worked.

Moving from underproductive to uber productive was seriously exciting.  I got SO much done.  I stayed up late and got up early.  I had energy.  I felt exhilarated.  I re-launched my personal blog, In Search of Squid, got a lot of prewriting done on the novel, and started pumping out blog posts.

I was on fire.

But now, I’ve hit the other side of that wall.  I am in desperate need of balance.

You see, last week, I crashed.  I had been getting up early and going to bed late.  Even when taking a break for dinner or catching up with the fiancé, I had the computer on my lap, and I was responding to blog comments or working on a writing project.  General exhaustion and a lack of sleep then took over.  I couldn’t sit down to write without my eyelids drooping and feeling the need to take a nap.

Now, this has been my first experience working for myself.  I’ve never tried to do this before.  And let me tell you, striking a balance between work and all the rest is seriously harder than it looks. My work life and home life have now merged.  How does one handle this while maintaining a healthy balance of work, rest and play?

Enter, The Joy Equation.

I had been working through Molly’s Thirty Day Guide to Living Life on Purpose for the past few weeks.  Well, let me be more accurate, I’d working on it a little and thinking about working on it a lot.  Every time I picked it up, I felt guilty for taking time away from my writing projects.  I would eventually set it down with the idea that I could always do more later.

Then, the week of droopy eyelids and utter exhaustion came into play.  I realized I needed to slow down.  I needed a little perspective and some fresh ways to approach working on my own.

I spent last weekend pondering, journaling and planning.  I took a look at what really matters to me and sought new ways to maintain a sense of calm, wellness and balance in my life.

While doing this, I sat down and listened to the first audio session of The Joy Equation.  Molly walked me through a guided meditation, then a series of questions and exercises aimed at getting me to unearth my core values.  I attempted to figure out – what do I really care about; what values resonate with me; what truly matters?

In the past, I’ve tried to make time to consider my personal core values, and I’ve attempted to align my life in such a way as to be true to myself.  I can’t recommend this practice enough.  It’s powerful.  It opens doors and allows you to see your life in a whole new way.  What I love about Molly’s approach is that she really has you work it out.  You ask questions, you answer questions, you put it all in writing.

You set intentions for the week, and you find creative ways to really make it work for you.

Sometimes I just need a little nudge, something to give me permission to take time out for myself.  This was exactly the nudge I needed.  I’ve been so focused on doing the work I love, that I nearly forgot the many other things in life that matter to me too. Identifying my core values helped me to remember this.

In looking at those values, I noticed one thing that continued to show up – my love for being outside and in nature.  I really enjoy things like walking, hiking and camping.  I love fresh air and green trees and the sight of the ocean.

And then I realized something – I rarely make time to do this.

Why?  I’m not sure.  I think sometimes we get lost in ourselves, in our daily lives.  We forget to do those things that bring us joy, especially when it takes a little extra time, effort or attention.

So I’m taking a cue from my Joy Plan; I’m setting an intention for the week.  And that intention is simply to go on a hike.

According to Lao Tzu, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”  My journey is to connect with my true, authentic self.  In cultivating the powerful habits that will bring me to that authentic self, I must take small steps to get there.  This is simply one of those small steps.

I’m also making a commitment to myself:  each week, I’ll re-look at my core values. Whichever jumps out at me as something I’ve been overlooking, I’ll take action, and I’ll plan something that honors that value for the week.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.  What are some things you do to maintain balance in your own life?

photo credit: janusz l

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Comments (5)

5 Responses to “Finding Balance through my Core Values”

  • Ronnica Says:
    March 3rd, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    I struggle with balance as well. I have goals, and I'll go after them full-force, leaving out other good things in the process. I've started to think of things more on a moment-by-moment basis…what should I do THIS moment?

  • Heather Rae Says:
    March 3rd, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    That's a good one! Moment-by-moment. I was just thinking that I need to take a break from working for today – but then I started to feel obligated to keep up the momentum. At this moment though, I seriously need a break. I can always re-start the momentum later. Love it!

  • Katie Says:
    March 6th, 2010 at 12:04 am

    I had such a hard time committing to the Joy Plan. And it took one post from Molly to make it clear – she actually sent me a message via Twitter that said to make a date with myself every day and keep it, just like I keep other appointments. I actually put it on my calendar to remind me to do it. I'm so excited for your goal for taking a hike, literally :) Something for YOU and only YOU. You deserve it!

  • Katie Says:
    March 6th, 2010 at 10:39 pm

    Thanks for this post, Heather! I've been seriously overworking lately and it's a good reminder to go back and look at the values I identified when I took Molly's class. It's easy to forget that even if something makes you really happy, it won't continue to do so if you leave everything else out.

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    March 7th, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    "I’m also making a commitment to myself: each week, I’ll re-look at my core values. Whichever jumps out at me as something I’ve been overlooking, I’ll take action, and I’ll plan something that honors that value for the week."

    Heather- I love this! This is how I made my "20 Things To Do In 2010"! I looked at my values and identified specific things I wanted to do to honor them and have been scheduling them in. Happy to report it's working. Just takes a little effort + awareness. Intention + attention.

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