Fun? What’s that? And How do I Find it?

posted 17th March 2010    Written by: Heather Rae    CATEGORY: Heather Rae, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, Tips & Tools

What did you like to do for fun when you were a kid?  What about when you were a teenager?  Answering these questions might be a clue to what you will enjoy as an adult.  A conversation with a friend made me consider these questions, and I feel much happier having done so.

Here’s the scoop:  several years ago, when hanging out with a friend, we discussed what we should do that evening.  The conversation started with the typical, “I don’t know.  What do you want to do?”  And that sentiment bounced between us a few times before he stopped me and said, “Heather, you’re boring.  Do you like to do anything?  Do you even know what you like to do for fun?”

I squinted my eyes and tweaked the left corner of my mouth upward before answering, “You’re a jerk.”

And then I thought about his question.  I couldn’t answer it.  As rude as it was for him to say, there was a grain of truth in that statement.  I had no clue what I liked to do for fun.

The question haunted me.

I was unnerved to realize I had no idea what I actually enjoyed doing.  But then I decided I was simply too busy for fun – and certainly too busy to spend time considering fun.  At the time, I was an undergrad.  I took an average of five classes a semester, mostly science classes with labs.  And I worked full time.  Who had time to sit around and wonder what they would enjoy during hypothetical leisure time? I had no leisure time.

So I forgot about the question and moved on.  My focus was on keeping my grades up and working my ass off.

Yet, the question still nagged me.  During free moments, I found myself wondering exactly that — what did I like to do for fun?

Years passed and my habit of working too hard and playing too little continued.  I finished undergrad, was accepted to grad school and moved full speed ahead.

When I finished grad school, I found I had a little more time to myself.  But I still didn’t know the answer to that burning question.  This needed to change.  I just didn’t know how.  I spent a lot of time thinking about what I liked to do, and I pretty much came up blank.

And then I realized something.  When I last really took the time to have fun for the sake of fun, I was a kid.  When I was young, my approach was pretty much to try everything and stick with the things I liked.

So I spent time pondering that idea — what were some of the things I liked doing when I was a kid?  Did any of those things make me wish I were a kid again, for the sake of enjoying those same experiences?

Whenever I thought of something I once enjoyed, I gave the adult version a try.

For instance, ballet class was my absolute favorite pastime, so I took up dance — I tried hula dancing and belly dancing and pole dancing.  As a kid, I read everything I could get my hands on, so I ventured back to the local library.  I once enjoyed cooking for my family, so I pulled out the cookbooks and looked online for interesting recipes.

I continued to try things in this way.  If I heard of something that sounded interesting, I resolved to try it. Each semester, I meticulously read the community education catalog from my local college.  I circled classes I was interested in.  When one fit my schedule and my budget, I enrolled.  I even took college classes just for fun.  Human Anatomy might not sound fun to most people, but I sure enjoyed it.

And this was how I discovered my passions — many of which I already knew but had simply forgotten.

If anyone asks me that question again — what do you like to do for fun? — I feel confident I can answer.

I like hiking and being outdoors.  I like going for walks in my neighborhood.  I like taking dance classes.  I like to read books.  I like to write.  I like to teach.  I like to cook.  I like to see musicals.  I like taking random college classes for no reason other than to learn something new.  I like to study language.  I like to travel.  I like to draw and paint.

There is no end to what I like to do.  And the best part?  My answer is always evolving, always changing.

So if you’re anything like me — if you find it hard to answer the question, “What do you like to do for fun?”  Try asking yourself a different question, “What did you like to do for fun when you were a kid?”  You might be surprised what you discover.

photo credit: m.mogall

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Comments (1)

One Response to “Fun? What’s that? And How do I Find it?”

  • Katie [blogs] Says:
    March 19th, 2010 at 2:52 am

    This is amazingly true. Going back to the most innocent years, when we could do what we wanted and we had the overwhelming "selfish" phases where we only cared about we wanted. Personally, I loved playing "cops" and solving mysteries in my hometown. This is probably why I like crime drama so much.

    Here's hoping you continue to find things that you like, and that you practice them often :)

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