Archive

The Gutsy Girl’s Guide to Success- LIVE! And other sweet events.

posted 22nd March 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Events, Molly, Stratejoy the Biz

Woo Freakin’ Hoo!  Exciting news, Tribe.  Stratejoy is hitting the road.  I’m going to be leading some awesome workshops in San Francisco and Washington, DC this summer!  More details and online registration will be coming soon as we secure locations, panelists, and sponsors–but I did want to introduce you to the event leaders in each city!

Before I do that- there are a few other new events I want to make sure you’re aware of!

A Free Conference Call on Tuesday, March 30th!  RSVP on Facebook!

Another Life List Art Fest Luncheon! In Seattle on April 11th!

101 Things To DO Before You Go- Creating a Meaningful Life List was so fun last time, I thought we’d do it again!

Expect guided brainstorming, lots of examples, lunch, mimosas, and tons of art supplies to make an inspiring vision board or memory book to hold your list!

Click on the pic to get more details and register online.

This event is a great way to take some time for yourself to create, get crafty, and commit to checking off some excitement from you list!

Bring your mom, your sister, your significant other- Men are totally invited to this event!

Back to the Introductions…

These lovely ladies are motivated, authentic, and excited to bring you an empowering and inspiring event.  I’m thrilled to be working with both Carlie and Nicole to produce these workshops, and hopefully more in the future.

If you’re interested in contacting the gals about helping with the event in your city, you can reach them at carlie {at} stratejoy {com} or nicole {at} stratejoy {com}.  Carlie’s the gal about town in the Bay Area and Nicole is rockin’ in DC.

Without further ado, it’s my great pleasure to introduce…

Carlie Hanson

San Francisco Leader
Mission: Give more, Take less.

Professional Bio: Carlie Hanson is a woman of many talents. Barista in the morning, SEO strategist and marketer midday, event planner and writer by night, she moved to San Francisco in 2009 for adventure. Upon meeting other 20 somethings and encountering Quarterlife Crisis, she became an advocate for conquering (and loving!) the Quarterlife experience.  Find her on Twitter.

I Love: running, people, laughing, cooking, eating, British funky jazz music, Women’s Health magazine, university, london, british accents, reading social psychology, traveling, wine, adventuring, and entrepreneurship.

I Despise: lying, goodbyes, desk jobs, and jobs that make you refrain from talking.

What else? As a MN native, I graduated from the University of Minnesota in 2008. In 2009, I uprooted to SF for adventure, warmth, and new challenges (surfing? vineyard volunteer? yes!). In between balancing all my jobs, you can usually find me volunteering, running, getting lost, and hanging out with new SF friends. I’m currently taking a break from graduate school, but I can’t wait to get back and complete my masters in health communications.

Nicole Indelicato

Washington DC Leader
Mission:  Live a Transparent Authentic Open life by empowering others to seek balance, pursue passions, chase dreams, choose happiness and discover purpose.

Professional Bio: Nicole Indelicato is the Founder of Nicole Indelicato, LLC, a Success Coaching Practice that provides Gen Y athletes resources, tools, leadership and empowerment to live their best life on purpose.  You can find her on Twitter.

I Love: Being in nature, traveling the World, thinking BIG, baseball parks and players, red velvet cupcakes, paying it forward, inspiration, handbags, green tea, bookstores, rural country, interior design, camping, deep & meaningful conversations with my “soul sisters”.

I Despise: Pigeons, thinking small, judgment, New York City subway rats, pork, peas and walls that are not painted.

What Else? I was born in New York, grew up in New Jersey and attended in college in Connecticut (Go UCONN) – A true tri-stater.  I currently live in Arlington, VA outside of Washington, DC.  I am a philanthropist, baseball lover, world traveler, and adventure enthusiast.  I spend my daily energy on my companies and non-profit (aka my babies) and continue to brainstorm ways to set out and leave my legacy upon this world.

WRAP UP

How will you know when the registration is live?  When more details are up?  Make sure you’ve subscribed to our RSS feed and/or subscribed to the Jolts of Joy newsletter (upper right corner).

Interested in producing an event in your city?  Think you can gather 50 like-minded awesome Gen Y women for a day of awesomeness? Yes, you get paid!   Contact me.  I’m working on the fall and 2011 schedule!

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Self-Respect: What I Learned from my Mom, Ex-Boyfriends, and Best Friend

posted 18th March 2010    Written by: Katie    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Katie, Season 2, What I've Learned

Typically, the people who make you feel most appreciated are your mom, best friend and significant others. These people have played a significant part in my life, and it was through their mistakes and mine that I have learned how to have more self-respect.

THE FIRST TIME

When I was 15, my parents got a divorce and I chose to live with my mom. She was always the disciplinarian and the one who seemed to have my best interest at heart. I wasn’t old enough to realize how great of a decision that was, but looking back, I know it was a great decision that didn’t last as long as it should have.

As do most people when they go through a breakup or an unhappy marriage, once they’re “free”, they make every attempt that they can to fill the void by dating a group of men. My mom was no different, and took the first steps into the world of “serial dating”.

I fell in love with her first boyfriend, who convinced her to buy me my first Nike brand jacket that I wanted. They broke up, and I was miserable. That was my first experience with a broken heart.They rekindled briefly, but nothing came of it.  My mom would then date a half dozen or so men who, even at age 15, I knew weren’t good enough for her.  She made them a priority when she was only an option to them.

I remember one night when I was 15, my mom was going to pick me up from dance class, but she was late. Very late. It was dark out, and cold out, and I remember waiting, wondering when she’d show up.  She was never known to be late, and she was never late again, but in that moment – I felt alone. When she picked me up, she had told me that her then boyfriend was installing a shower head. There was a bland apology, but the damage was done.

I felt number 2 to her, and understood that her need for validation from a man was number 1. Self-Respect?  Hmmm.

THE SECOND, THIRD, FOURTH, AND SO ON:

That first time would be followed by many other instances when I felt I was number 2 to something more important.

I dated someone with I was 18 who was a drug addict. Though I never tried any sort of illegal substance, his love was heroin. He would steal money, my car, my everything if it meant he could get one line. He’d tell me whatever I needed to hear to feel loved, but in the next breath, he’d ask for money, or a ride to the local drug sets. Eventually I got tired of being #2, cheated on, stolen from, and being treated like a literal piece of #2.

I dated a man after than who was a million times better than the last. He was a college student, frugal, successful, and everything I ever thought I could want in a significant other. On Valentine’s Day 2 years ago, we made plans to hang out and have a romantic evening at my apartment.  He came over, and we settled in for some dinner. He got a phone call from his mother who was feeling sick. He rushed home to her. On Valentine’s Day.

Though some might argue that being respectful to the mother is something they look for in a man, there were a series of events involving his mother that would leave me feeling like a number 2. This resentment that I had for him on not only this situation, but many other would lead to our eventual demise.

THE LAST TIME

My best friend is dating a friend of mine that I introduced her to with that exact hope. When they first met, we all went out to a local bar for a few drinks. That night, a really disturbing gentleman sat beside me at the bar and started talking to me and my friend. My male friend was on the other side of my best friend. When the guy started asking questions about me and my girlfriend, my male friend stepped in, put his arm around her, said “We’re together” and they proceeded to walk outside together. I was left with Creepy Creeperson alone.

After we arrived back at my apartment, my best friend and guy friend proceeded to sleep together in my office. I was sitting on my sofa curled in a ball feeling violated, disregarded, number 2.

In that moment I realized that I never wanted to feel that way again.

SO NOW WHAT?

I was tired of being everyone’s number 2, and mostly my own number 2. For so long, I would much rather see others happy and content than allowing myself to be.

In that moment I vowed to always remember myself and what I want in every situation.  I would respect myself enough to consider my own feelings. I’d learn how listen to gut feelings and realize that that’s my heart trying to give me a hint on where to go. I would never ever again allow someone to disrespect, neglect, or make me feel inferior.

The point of this post was surely not to rag on those who have made me feel inferior, or Number 2. I had a firm hand in all of it. Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”,  and she’s right. I had the power to ensure that I did not feel second best, but I had not yet realized where that power lied nor how to use it.

If nothing else, I want to thank each and every one of these people for helping me to find self- respect – something so many search for for years, and rarely find.

Many people say “Treat others how you want to be treated”.  While this is surely true on some levels, I prefer to say “Treat yourself how you want others to treat you.” If you respect yourself, people won’t have a choice but to treat you with respect. If they don’t, you’ll make the appropriate changes to avoid that from happening again.

Bottom line: Be your own number one, and accept nothing less. Ever.

photo credit: duncan

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Fun? What’s that? And How do I Find it?

posted 17th March 2010    Written by: Heather Rae    CATEGORY: Heather Rae, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, Tips & Tools

What did you like to do for fun when you were a kid?  What about when you were a teenager?  Answering these questions might be a clue to what you will enjoy as an adult.  A conversation with a friend made me consider these questions, and I feel much happier having done so.

Here’s the scoop:  several years ago, when hanging out with a friend, we discussed what we should do that evening.  The conversation started with the typical, “I don’t know.  What do you want to do?”  And that sentiment bounced between us a few times before he stopped me and said, “Heather, you’re boring.  Do you like to do anything?  Do you even know what you like to do for fun?”

I squinted my eyes and tweaked the left corner of my mouth upward before answering, “You’re a jerk.”

And then I thought about his question.  I couldn’t answer it.  As rude as it was for him to say, there was a grain of truth in that statement.  I had no clue what I liked to do for fun.

The question haunted me.

I was unnerved to realize I had no idea what I actually enjoyed doing.  But then I decided I was simply too busy for fun – and certainly too busy to spend time considering fun.  At the time, I was an undergrad.  I took an average of five classes a semester, mostly science classes with labs.  And I worked full time.  Who had time to sit around and wonder what they would enjoy during hypothetical leisure time? I had no leisure time.

So I forgot about the question and moved on.  My focus was on keeping my grades up and working my ass off.

Yet, the question still nagged me.  During free moments, I found myself wondering exactly that — what did I like to do for fun?

Years passed and my habit of working too hard and playing too little continued.  I finished undergrad, was accepted to grad school and moved full speed ahead.

When I finished grad school, I found I had a little more time to myself.  But I still didn’t know the answer to that burning question.  This needed to change.  I just didn’t know how.  I spent a lot of time thinking about what I liked to do, and I pretty much came up blank.

And then I realized something.  When I last really took the time to have fun for the sake of fun, I was a kid.  When I was young, my approach was pretty much to try everything and stick with the things I liked.

So I spent time pondering that idea — what were some of the things I liked doing when I was a kid?  Did any of those things make me wish I were a kid again, for the sake of enjoying those same experiences?

Whenever I thought of something I once enjoyed, I gave the adult version a try.

For instance, ballet class was my absolute favorite pastime, so I took up dance — I tried hula dancing and belly dancing and pole dancing.  As a kid, I read everything I could get my hands on, so I ventured back to the local library.  I once enjoyed cooking for my family, so I pulled out the cookbooks and looked online for interesting recipes.

I continued to try things in this way.  If I heard of something that sounded interesting, I resolved to try it. Each semester, I meticulously read the community education catalog from my local college.  I circled classes I was interested in.  When one fit my schedule and my budget, I enrolled.  I even took college classes just for fun.  Human Anatomy might not sound fun to most people, but I sure enjoyed it.

And this was how I discovered my passions — many of which I already knew but had simply forgotten.

If anyone asks me that question again — what do you like to do for fun? — I feel confident I can answer.

I like hiking and being outdoors.  I like going for walks in my neighborhood.  I like taking dance classes.  I like to read books.  I like to write.  I like to teach.  I like to cook.  I like to see musicals.  I like taking random college classes for no reason other than to learn something new.  I like to study language.  I like to travel.  I like to draw and paint.

There is no end to what I like to do.  And the best part?  My answer is always evolving, always changing.

So if you’re anything like me — if you find it hard to answer the question, “What do you like to do for fun?”  Try asking yourself a different question, “What did you like to do for fun when you were a kid?”  You might be surprised what you discover.

photo credit: m.mogall

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The 21st Century Threesome: Me, You, and My Blog

posted 16th March 2010    Written by: Nicole Antoinette    CATEGORY: Love/Relationships, Nicole Antoinette, Season 2

It came up in bed one night, our first night actually, a night that I already liked him hard enough to not fall into sex when we were still too new as an us for it to be a good idea.

And so we talked, back and forth and all over each other until 5am, telling each other about who we are and where we’ve been and what we want from these big shiny adult lives that seem to have popped up out of nowhere.

He talked about music, I talked about food. We did big picture and small specifics and if he could have read my mind that night, he’d know that what I was really trying to do was figure out how he fit into the life I was putting everything on the line to build.

We jumped from topic to topic, mainlining each other’s details, until we finally settled into the conversation about writing. It came up naturally, on the heels of a string of thoughts about overwhelming passion, and I told him that I wanted to write more than I wanted air. He laughed in a way that said, “You’re dramatic but I get you,” and it made me blush in a way that said, “Stop but don’t.”

I told him that I write to understand myself, that I have to put it, everything, down in words and throw it out into the world before it can make sense to me.

We talked about our blogs, his much newer than mine, and I shared that living my life out loud is a sacrifice I made by accident and now couldn’t get out of if I tried. I told him it’s probably a good thing that I don’t want to try.

He fell asleep before me, arms wrapped around my body in that gentle octopus way that I always say I don’t like but secretly crave, and I thought about how gradually and unintentionally my blog really has infiltrated every single part of my life. There I was, in that bed, in that corner of town, with that breath against my ear and none of it would be happening if I didn’t write about my life on the internet.

I think about this a lot actually, about how the boundaries of offline me and online me have bled together to create a mashup version of who I am and I realize that in a lot of ways, I use my blog as a filter. The people I interact with on a daily basis are all people I’ve met through my blog, and while I like that by the time I meet them in person they have an accurate sense of what it’ll be like to have a relationship with me, I feel like I’ve forgotten how to be social without a virtual ice breaker, how to show someone who I am from the very beginning, without my blog as a crutch.

This is true with friends, but it’s even truer with dating.

Any guy who’s having a relationship with me is also having a similarly intense relationship with my blog; if he’s sleeping with me, he’s sleeping with the fact that almost everything I do winds up online, and if he’s not okay with that, it’s just not going to work.

And this is the challenging part, the delicate balancing act that’s true of all threesomes, the question of which thing I’m more attracted to, the guy or my blog, and whether it really is possible to have both at once without ruining either one.

photo credit: guldfisken

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Inspirational Books, Awesome Stuff and Business Resources

posted 15th March 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Molly, Stratejoy the Biz, Tips & Tools

I’ve been getting a lot of requests lately from clients, blog readers, other women entrepreneurs for “The List”.  The list of inspirational books, awesome stuff and business recommendations that I can’t live without.   Those tools and inspiration that allowed me to create Stratejoy, to live life on my terms, and to continue to do it– day after day…

You ask?  You shall receive!

The “stuff” and the business resources are always available on my Store Tab.  And I’m working on the sweet ass Amazon bookstore right now!  But this post will have to suffice in the meantime…

Women entrepreneurs? Life Listers? Bloggers? Fellow Quarterlifers? Those wanting to rock their right life?

Take note.  Whether you’re starting a new business or a new adventure, there’s something here for you!

Inspirational Books

Book I Turn To When I Need a Dose of Inspiration: This Time I Dance: Creating the Work You Love .  Hot shot Harvard Lawyer turned writer talks about the ups AND the downs of creating a life of passion.  I have this book sitting on my “personal alter” and return to it whenever I need a reminder of why I’m following my heart and building this community of gusty, real women going after a well lived life, instead of the easy route of “just getting a job.   Warning:  Cheesy Cover.

Book That Reminds Me What Life is Truly About: Slow is Beautiful: New Visions of Community, Leisure and Joie de Vivre.  I can’t say it better than Amazon, “Slow is Beautiful analyzes the subtle consumer and political and corporate forces stamping the joy from our existence and provides a vision of a more fulfilling life through the rediscovery of caring community, unhurried leisure, and life-affirming joie de vivre.” One of my new favorites!

Book That Every Woman with Perfectionist Tendencies Should Read:
 Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: How the Quest for Perfection is Harming Young Women.  An exploration of eating disorders and self-esteem in Gen Y, told by the fresh voice of 20something Courtney Martin. This book really opened my eyes to the damage women are doing to themselves (physically and emotionally) by placing so much emphasis on our appearances.

Book That Anyone Who Wants to be a Freelancer, Entrepreneur, Small Biz Owner Should Read RIGHT NOW:Escape from Cubicle Nation: From Corporate Prisoner to Thriving Entrepreneur.  I’ve taken a workshop with Pam Slim, author and coach extradinare, and she is down-to-earth and inspiring- a combo I always try to pull off!  I give this book to anyone in my workshops who show a flicker of interest in starting their own business someday because it was go useful to me in my journey from the corporate world to getting Stratejoy off the ground. It is a must read.  Seriously.

Awesome Stuff: Things I LOVE and you will too.

I love Danielle LaPorte of White Hot Truth. She’s one of my authentic living heroes.

I love stationary, pretty paper, and sending personal notes/ letters via snail mail. I have an entire box of stickers, notecards, sparkly pens just waiting for the right occasion to pop up that requires the Unite States Postal Service.

So it’s pretty obvious that I would be ridiculously in love with Danielle’s notecards.

Uh huh. Hubba Hubba. Done and Done.

—————————————————————–

You know when you stumble across someone who simply radiates joy? Leonie Allen (or Goddess Leonie as she is known) is like that!

I had a hard time deciding which of her creative, soulful, inspiring Goddess offerings to share with you… So many goodies. Such color.

This Workbook & Planner is gorgeous. It is uplifting. It is super affordable.

It’s definitely not too late to make 2010 the best freakin’ year ever.

Get some.

Business Resources

This is what I use.  I pay for each of these products because I think they’re the best. Tried, tested, true.

ONLINE MARKETING COMMUNITY

How do you build an online business, make money from your blog, or become an internet rockstar without selling out or giving in to the cheese?  This smarty pants community of people who have done it and will tell you how to do it is ridiculously useful.  Calls, forums, worksheets, real life stories.  Gets my mojo going every time I visit!  See you there?

SEO PLUGIN FOR WORDPRESS

I don’t know how to naturally “optimize” my posts.  I didn’t even think about it before I got this sweet plug-in.  I’m still a newbie- but I’m loving the ease of it!  And the traffic!

SEO Copywriting Made Simple

AWESOME EBOOK ON HOW TO SELL YOUR EBOOK

But Molly, your eBook is free!  Well, yes, the Gutsy Girl’s Guide to Success is free.  But there’s more to come, and a stealth project launch that I’m working on, and this Awesome eBook is helping me put it all together.  Naomi of IttyBiz and Dave of Rock Your Day are the bomb.

SHOPPING CART

E-junkie Shopping Cart and Digital Delivery

HOSTING

And yes, dear hearts, these are all affiliate links. But I know, use, love and stand behind everything on this page!  And guess what?  Pretty soon I’m going to have affiliate program set up for some Stratejoy products.  Want in?  Email me!

p.s.  I’m also working on post about inspirational Quarterlife bloggers and businesses!   If that’s you (or someone you know!) leave on a comment on this post with your link so I can check it out!  Woo Hoo!

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