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Steady and Strong

posted 30th April 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Molly, Spirituality, What I've Learned

Sit and listen to the sound of your heart beating.  Steady. Strong.

We are the same; women standing steady. Strong.  Turning our face to the sky to receive the sunshine.  Taking comfort that we are on our path, relishing each moment of love and of calm.  Living out loud, not taking life for granted, showing up and loving hard. Being present.  Learning, growing, giving.  Grateful for our charmed life.

There are times when we forget, when we lose the rhythm of our heart song—but it’s never truly gone.  There is a power, a life force that flows through the universe, a ribbon of something greater that sustains us. Even on the lonesome days, the days when our tears flow, the days when our shadows get the best of us, even on those days, our heart keeps beating.

We keep listening.

When the beat seems lost, all is not. This I know. Allowing the darkness to settle for a while is part of the journey.  Feeling the sharp edges of our own being is to embrace the fullness of life.

As much as we may think that unicorns and sparkles and cherry blossoms fulfill us—the sweet is only sweet when you’ve tasted the bitter.

Having faith that you are strong enough to weather the trials allows them to pass swiftly.  Having faith in something greater than yourself, however that manifests in your life, allows you to bear the darkness with grace, with the utter belief that the sun will return.

When we’re exhausted, broken, overwhelmed by questions—sometimes escaping from the brightness is comforting. Easier.  Be wary of getting stuck in the dark, however.

Languishing, lazing, cementing ourselves in the shadows—however relieved we may be to step off our dazzling path and rest our weary hearts—is not a solution.  Removing ourselves from the possibility of fulfillment, contribution, sheer screaming aliveness is not the answer.

Taste the bitter, embrace the dark. And then return to your path, lit by dreams and hope and courage and faith.

Sometimes, when we are lost in the shadows for far too long, we must reach out, cry for help, admit we’re not sure how to swim in these depths. The touch of a lover, the soul-opening line of poetry, the ripeness of a peach, the smile of stranger, the celebration of your faith, the embrace of a friend… We can allow the simple love to illuminate our path and remind us of our rhythm.

The one we’d never really lost, just momentarily forgotten.   A moment can be an hour, a day, a year—but it is still only a moment.

Soon enough, we’ll remember our beat with a vengeance. The lyrics of love and joy and meaning and hope—sweet and simple hope—will flow freely and we’ll dance in the sunshine.  Or in the fog.  Or in the dampness of a forest filled with ferns.

It doesn’t matter—we are dancing.

Steady. And strong.

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I’m a Believer

posted 29th April 2010    Written by: Katie    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Katie, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, Spirituality, What I've Learned

Don’t worry, this isn’t a post of Psalms and prophecies…

Isn’t it funny, though that when we see “believer” we automatically think of “prayer” and shouts of “Praise the Lord”. Both of which I feel are legitimate expressions of belief. It’s better than to believe in something than it is to not. Every. Single. Time.

I’ve always been the kind of person who has to have Faith in something. It was when I lost Faith in everything that I started on a long path of darkness and negativity and all-around hell that would be known as my “Rock bottom.” When nothing points you in the direction of happiness, or at least the eventual promise of, there’s no where left to go but down.

I was raised Catholic. I didn’t choose to be Catholic, my parents made me Catholic. I went to CCD classes from 1st Grade through 8th Grade. I received all of my Sacraments, and went to church every Sunday. When I was in 8th grade, I received what the Catholics call “Confirmation”, which is basically one’s entry into the adult world in the eyes of the church.

Also in 8th grade, my parents divorced, which is a cardinal sin of the Catholic Church. Because of this, my mom was “no longer welcome in the church” and, since I was living with her, I never went back to church after then.

The only days I set foot into a church is for a wedding or a funeral.

I still believe in God.  Something bigger than me HAD to have helped me through all of my dark times. I don’t go to church every week, but good things have been coming to me.

Sometime during my addiction to self help books, I picked up the Secret. I was also given the DVD documentary from a previous boss. I watched it back in 2007, but it wasn’t until early 2010 that I really understood it. Without becoming a preachy preachy machine, the whole idea behind the secret is basically putting positive thoughts out into the universe, and receiving good things in return.

I didn’t believe it at first.

Mostly because I half-assed tried it with the idea of “finding true love”. Of course I was in a relationship at the time when I was wishing for true love.  That’s another post for another day. But, instead of my falling in love with the guy I was with from that Universal wish, we broke up. WTF, Universe. What are you doing to me?

I ended up realizing that though I still haven’t found true love with someone else romantically, I’ve found it within myself.  I learned to love myself, and as the once glorified Whitney Houston said, “Crack Is Whack”, “Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all.”

So, what does this all mean? What exactly do you believe?

I believe that there is something bigger and greater than me out there that I have influence over. If I put my wants and desires out there, then they’ll come to me. It might not be in a “CRASH BAM BOOM! HERE’S YOUR BIGGEST WISH!” type way. But I’ll be guided in the right direction and given little rewards along the way.

I believe that negativity breeds negativity. I’ve become much more focused on putting positive ideas out into the universe. Not only does this make my chances for getting the good stuff greater, it also downs my stress level a lot.

It’s freakin’ hard to be negative all the time.

I believe in the power that I have over my destiny and happiness. Whether or not I’m successful lies solely in my hands.

I believe in ME.

At the end of the day, it’s all about believing in something that inspires you and gives you strength. At the end of the day, you just have to be sure you believe in what you believe in.


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Something Bigger than Myself

posted 28th April 2010    Written by: Heather Rae    CATEGORY: Heather Rae, Inspiration, Season 2, Spirituality, What I've Learned

Talking about spirituality feels a bit like going to the dentist for a filling.  It doesn’t exactly hurt.  But it sure as hell isn’t comfortable.  Okay, maybe that’s just me.

To be honest, I really don’t consider myself spiritual.  I lack religious beliefs and don’t generally seek to understand the meaning of it all.  I feed my spirit in ways that makes sense to me — through art, meditation, reading, dance, volunteering.  Here’s my motto:  The best way to celebrate life is to live.  The best way to live is to do what you love.

Truth is, I don’t know the meaning of life.  I don’t know if there is a higher power.  But for me, all of that doesn’t matter.

What does matter is how I choose to contribute to the world.  What matters is how I choose to help and make a difference in the lives of others.  I do know that many people are suffering.  If I can do even a small thing to help alleviate that suffering, I have a responsibility to do just that.  I don’t hope to receive anything for my actions.  I just think it’s the right thing to do.

Earlier this week, I broached the topic of spirituality with a friend.  She said something that really clicked for me.  She said, “If you want to get in touch with your spirituality, the absolute best thing you can do is to help other people in any way you can.”

Now that’s something I can get behind.  The best way to get in touch with something bigger than myself is to do something good for someone else.

The reality is, when I donate my time or money, I generally get more out of the action than the recipient.  This may sound cliché, but it’s true.

When I started college, I was encouraged to volunteer.  It’s well known that having a litany of volunteer hours on your resume can only be helpful when applying to grad school programs.  And so I did just that.  I got involved in organizations that I felt did meaningful work; I donated my time.

I learned something from those experiences.  There’s absolutely nothing like the feeling you get from helping a child learn to read or tutoring a girl in math and helping her score high on a college entrance exam, especially when she hadn’t considered attending college in the first place.  I was a long term volunteer for the Police Athletic League after school program, and I regularly volunteered with the Make-A-Wish Foundation.  I did work that mattered to me.  I learned what it was like to make a difference in someone’s life.  And it’s true – if you want to get in touch with something bigger than yourself, do something for someone else.  This, for me, is the absolute best way to see how we are all part of one world; we are all connected.

Since those college experiences, I’ve carried the habit of volunteering with me.  I’ve volunteered at food banks, raised money for causes I believe in, even took care of dogs at a local animal shelter.  And I’ve loved every minute of it.  To this day, when I feel something is missing in my life, I take a look at the philanthropic work I’m involved in.  Helping others always helps me put my own life in perspective.

I’ve started a new tradition.  When I sit down to make my list of things I would like to accomplish each year, I make sure to include something that involves helping other people. For me, it’s important to always work for causes I believe in, to make a difference in the world.  This year, I plan to volunteer at Planned Parenthood.  I’d also like to plan a volunteer trip to another country.

For me, my friend’s statement really holds true.  The absolute best way to get in touch with my spirituality is to make a positive difference in the life of someone else.

photo credit: Eddi 07

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What Do You Believe?

posted 27th April 2010    Written by: Nicole Antoinette    CATEGORY: Nicole Antoinette, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, Spirituality

Should religion be a taboo topic? I don’t know, but it is.

Probably because our spiritual beliefs are so intertwined with how we understand ourselves and our world that the line between different and intolerant is wispy and translucent. This line, the line between “I don’t believe what you believe but I accept you” and “I don’t believe what you believe and therefore you’re wrong” is so fine that it often gets swept away in the heat of feeling that what we believe is not just one choice, but the choice.

And I don’t agree with that, with the taboo-ness of it all. Just like I don’t think there’s only one way to love someone, one way to succeed, one way to learn, one way to give back, one way to leave your mark on the world, I don’t think there’s a single way to connect and express your spirituality.

You know what I do believe?

I believe you’re either a good person or you’re not. And if you are, if you treat yourself with respect and you treat other people with respect and you’re kind and compassionate and understanding, if you’re honest and you’re open and you live your life on purpose, then it doesn’t matter. You can go to church (or not), to temple (or not), you can meditate (or not), feel close to God (or not), and we can all still exist together and crash into each other in big and meaningful ways.

I believe that every single person can learn something from every single other person.

I believe in the interconnectedness of it all and think that every cause has an effect and every action a reaction. I believe that you get what you put out there and I believe that there’s an enormous and vibrantly dynamic universal energy and that throughout our lives, doors won’t open for us until we’re ready to walk through them.

I believe in creating your own reality, in taking responsibility for your happiness and not being passive in the flowing current of your life. I believe that there’s a difference between fair and equal, and that things don’t need to be equal to be fair. I believe in the power of creating your own set of beliefs and then living them, really living them, each and every day. I believe we’re not just capable, but powerful, far more electrically powerful than we ever give ourselves credit for.

I believe in giving yourself the credit you deserve.

I believe it’s up to us to lay the groundwork for who we want to be, to camp out in our souls and build and rebuild until the foundation we’ve created fully supports us. I believe in introspective reflection, in celebrating when we’re right and openly admitting when we’re wrong because we, each of us, are wrong all the time.

And I believe that’s how it’s supposed to be, that being wrong and tripping up and falling into the hole is how we learn, how we’re able to test the strength of that foundation we’ve built and fill in the cracks along the way.

photo credit: kevin dooley

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The Crazy Exciting, Crazy Depressing Halfway Mark

posted 22nd April 2010    Written by: Katie    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Katie, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, What I've Learned

I’m 3 days late writing this post.

It will surely publish on my regularly scheduled Thursday, just know that I’m writing this three days later than I normally should have. It’s not that I forgot. It’s not that I didn’t feel like it. Hell, I always want to write for you guys. For the first time in my entire life I can be me, and it’s okay.

But this week? This week marks my halfway point of the “Guest Blogger” position here at Stratejoy. That gets a firm, loud, WHAT THE HELL?! from me.

When I checked my e-mail from Molly a few days ago it was what has become a typical Saturday for me: Sitting indian style on my oversized chair, wearing pajamas and eating Bugles and Diet Pepsi. Seriously, this is what I do all day on Saturday. It’s my gift to myself.

I opened up my e-mail and was whistling through my Bugle, and saw “It’s the halfway point through your guest posting…” I ran to my calendar with intent of e-mailing Molly back and telling her that she’s been working a little too hard and she misread the date. She didn’t.

Call it crazy emotions, call it PMS, call it whatever you want, but I just didn’t want to accept that I’m halfway done this journey.

I got a little upset, anxious, and nervous.I am not in anyway where I feel that I’m supposed to be. I’m not happy yet. I’m still struggling with depression. I didn’t meet the man of my dreams yet who was going to knock down all of my walls. I didn’t make that surprise call to my family announcing my engagement, my first child, my dream job.

None of that had happened yet. I can’t be halfway done. Can I get an extension?

I felt myself going down a path that could inevitably become destructive. I started thinking I was inadequate, not good enough, and failing at the one thing that I had committed to. And if you know me, you know that I’m allergic to commitment.

So, I didn’t write the post that day. Or the next. Or the next. I spent the next few days freaking out about how I wasn’t as far along as I wanted to be and wondering where I went wrong.

This morning, still thinking about how I was going to handle writing this halfway post – I took a moment – something I learned through my journey – to calm down. Take a breath. Refocus.

I practiced my own little thought stopping and realized two things:

A) I’m halfway done, but I still have halfway to go.
B) This blogging experience wasn’t a deadline. I don’t have to have things figured out by the end.

After I accepted these two things, a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I sat down, started to write, and here I am.

Still halfway done my guest-blogging position here, but celebrating the drastic, amazing, awesome, freakin’ crazy-cool changes I’ve made in my life, and celebrating those, rather than the “end” that I was focusing on before. Which, to be honest, doesn’t exist.

Time for a “What I’ve Done / Learned” Roll Call:

5 little lessons that have made a world of difference. I’ve come a long way, baby. And honestly, you haven’t seen nothing yet.

I’d love to know from you guys, what’s the most recent life strategy that you’ve picked up? Where did you get it from? You know I’m always game for new things.

*Photo Credit: (via)

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