If You’re Not Chasing a Dream, You’re Running in Circles

posted 6th April 2010    Written by: Nicole Antoinette    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Nicole Antoinette, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, Travel

People often ask me about my big dream, and I tell them that my big dream is to write. I tell them that my big dream is to write because it’s the short answer, the easily digestible 10 second response. The long version though? The long version of my big dream is that I want to live a life that’s worth writing about.

Sometimes, I wish I had a clearer picture of what that life actually looked like, a crystal ball whose visions I could point to and say, “Yes! That! Want that!”

I don’t know the clear picture, but here’s what I do know:

In my big dream life, my bra and panties always match. And they’re always either impossibly cute or threateningly sexy. I practice yoga. I travel to all of the 50 states and all of the seven continents, and I make a real friend in each place.

I write about what happens to me and people not only read it, but laugh and laugh until they almost get kicked out of the bookstore. I spend an afternoon drinking vodka with Chelsea Handler, the only writer who has ever made me laugh hard enough to almost get kicked out of a bookstore.

I remember the important dates – birthdays, anniversaries, miscellaneous holidays – and I send people real in-the-actual-mail cards. I make homemade jam. And homemade bread. And I invite my girlfriends over for tea with homemade jam and bread.

I climb a volcano in Hawaii, go ziplining in Costa Rica, and visit the Great Wall of China. I walk on a glacier, go on safari in Africa, and snorkel The Great Barrier Reef. I stare out over the Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia, when the salt flats are wet enough to reflect the sky, and I realize that I’m one tiny person and that this is one damn large world, but that it’s not so scary once you walk far enough away from your own front door to experience it all.

In my big dream life, I love, and I love hard. I love someone hard enough that even the smell of their skin lights me on fire. I have sex on a train, get naked on a nude beach, and teach my kids that physical pleasure and fleeting, momentary joy can (and should!) live side by side with weightier pursuits.

I spend a holiday season working in a cupcake shop, get my picture in a major newspaper, visit a tea plantation, and own the perfect little black dress. I buy something for each of my parents that they couldn’t afford on their own.

In my big dream life, I always have a never ending list of things to accomplish in my big dream life, because I’m always cartwheeling past my limitations and reaching for more.

photo credit: funkz

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Comments (25)

25 Responses to “If You’re Not Chasing a Dream, You’re Running in Circles”

  • Erika Miley Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    All I wanna do is shout YES! when I read this Nicole. Do you ever deal with guilt for wanting such big things? Sometimes I do… but then I think to myself ladies who just behave are no fun. :)

  • Vanessa Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    Love it! Me in my dream life would be BFF with you in your dream life!

  • Cheddar Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    I love your Big Dream Life! I want one. I definitely feel like I'm running in circles.

  • Phil Villarreal Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Don't forget to try a KFC Double Down at least once.

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    You know, I don't think I ever feel guilty, but I do feel wildly overwhelmed. I think, "Wouldn't things be easier if I just wanted less?"

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Let's do it!!

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    I feel like that all the time. It's like, I see the big dream life and I'm running in circles underneath it. Maybe for now the big dream is to slow down enough that I stop spinning so much.

  • AndreaGenevieve Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    Ive been on the Great Wall of China and let me tell you its so amazing! You'll get there some day- never stop chasing the dream. At least you know your dream I still change my mind EVERY day!

  • Nikki Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 7:17 pm

    love. love. LOVE.

    I'm gonna think about – and write down – MY big dream life. and then imagine & imagine it, letting it fill me with joy every day as i get closer to living that big dream life. cause i'm gonna do it – and so are you! thanks for making my morning. :)

  • Doniree Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    This is one of those things that I want to print out, blow up, and hang poster-style on my bedroom wall. Only with my dreams and my big life. And in really bright pink flashy font, the places where they intersect and we get to take over the world :)

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    This comment made *my* morning, so… we're even?

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    Big Dream poster sounds amazing. Like, an inspiration board! If I was even the least bit artsy, I'd make one of those.

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    Oh I'm SO going. It's on.

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    Ah yes, the finer things in life…

  • Vixations Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    I made one of those Dream board type things in college, but it involves things like 'Freddy' on it so I clearly need to make a new one. This weekend? Also, I'll make the tiny little fruit tarts and cucumber sandwiches to go with our tea and jam. And I'll be your personal photographer on the trips. And and and we'll be famous and pretty forever and ever.

  • Eran Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    this is a colorfully amazing post – it made me want to cheer out loud from the cubicle in which I'm reading it. thanks for the inspiring words – like sunshine :)

  • Scott Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    Great post – really makes me think about what MY dream should be, and then about why you don't have all the answers so I could just buy it from you in book form. It's such a great concept to have the "big" dream, but it seems to me that it's something that's all to easily to lose track of since it's so abstract. Any thoughts/insights blog-o-world?

    PS always confused as to why it's so hard for women to wear matching bras/underwear.

  • Scott Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 10:16 pm

    Great post – really makes me think about what MY dream should be, and then about why you don't have all the answers so I could just buy it from you in book form. It's such a great concept to have the "big" dream, but it seems to me that it's something that's all to easily to lose track of since it's so abstract. Any thoughts/insights blog-o-world?

  • Scott Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 10:18 pm

    PPS I've always wanted a giant picture of the world as one of the walls in my room/house with little pins and pictures from all the places I've traveled.

  • Pyrenze Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 2:51 am

    Because a really good bra is hard to find (unless you want to take out a loan for one) and they never have the matching undies in your size.

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    We covered the bra and underwear thing yesterday, yes?

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    I have that! Except, no, it's at my parent's house. This is a long and boring story. But.. I have one!

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    Virtual cheering totally appreciated!

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    Or we can just draw all over Freddy's face in Sharpie and write things like, "Have fun with your baby momma."

    No? Too bitter?

  • April Says:
    April 12th, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    You absolutely DO live a life worthy of writing about…and it's my dream to be more than just a spectator and do the same in mine. "I’m always cartwheeling past my limitations and reaching for more." – love this, and my only advice? Keep it up. You may just be one of the few that gets to the end of this little thing called life by actually living!

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