Confession: Moving Did Not Make Me Happy

posted 14th May 2010    Written by: Katie    CATEGORY: Katie, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, Stratejoy the Biz, What I've Learned

I’ve been moved into my new place for a little over a month now. I thought for sure this would be it; the end of my long battle with depression. Over the last few months, I did some intense soul searching and discovered some things that I wasn’t happy with in my life and made a commitment to change them. Number one on my list was my living conditions.

The opportunity to move in with two awesome roommates presented itself, and I jumped on it.

I pictured my move in day in my head a million times. It would be similar to Carrie walking into the apartment of her dreams with Mr. Big. (Shameless Sex and the City reference. I’ve been reliving the entire season on DVD courtesy of Netflix. And now I’m constantly making references, or pretending my life has a voice over like Carrie Bradshaw. “…And then, I made dinner. And then, I watched a sappy love flick. …and then I whipped out my rabbit, and thought, ‘is this what life has come to? Dinner, a Movie and Sex. Alone?’)

…moving on….

I pictured my move in day to be perfect. I’d walk into the house and all of my troubles, fears, and bad memories would disappear. We’d all sit around and play board games every night, and whenever I had a problem, I’d sit down and talk to my roommates and we’d find a solution. At the end, we’d hug it out while 90′s love ballads  played in the background. And I’d live happily ever after.

My move in day came and I excitedly packed my things and moved. No one was home to welcome me, and no one helped me move. I did it alone. I’ve taken part in a lot of moves, and the majority have been big parties of people drinking beer and eating pizza. Then, sitting around a table playing cards.

That didn’t happen for me at all.

The days that followed my move in weren’t what I thought they’d be either. My roommates both work many hours, and I work from home, so for the most part I’m alone. Which, ideally may sound great but I’m literally in bed right before or after my roommates get home from work. We don’t play board games around the kitchen table.

I haven’t shared my problems with them yet.

I haven’t shared it with you guys over the last few weeks, but I’m going to now; I’ve been having… just a tough time. Several times people close to me have caught me staring off into space and said  ”Katie, where are you? You look like you’re in your head.” They’re right. My mind is constantly going. Moving wasn’t enough to make me happy. I want more. I need more. I deserve more.

I need to make a confession right now. I never finished the Stratejoy program. I started it, did a decent amount of it, told Molly I wanted to blog on behalf of the clan of twenty and thirty somethings, and I just… stopped. I was in a happy place, and I stopped. You might not consider this a big deal, but I feel like I’ve been leading you all on. How many posts have I encouraged you all to do the program? How many times have I said it saved my life, literally? These claims aren’t lies, not in the least.

However, I never got the full benefit of the Joy Equation: A 30-Day Guide To Living Life On Purpose. Because, like most things, I didn’t finish it.

So, what does this have to do with my move and being miserable?

How I realized that I wanted to move was by making a list of things I wanted to change. As I said, Number one was moving. I did that, and while it was liberating and made a big difference, I stopped there. Soon, my “new house” wasn’t my “new house”. I’m not introduced as the “new roommate” anymore. I started my list, but stopped. I felt good for a moment and tried to live off of that life high forever instead of constantly creating new experiences.

It takes a lot of courage to start something, but it takes even more to keep on going with it.

Here and now, friends, family, people I haven’t met, I’m making a commitment. Two, actually.

Number One: I’m moving on to number two of my “Life Changes” list. “Save $1000 over 6 months by not going out as often.”

Number Two: I’m heading over to get another brand new Stratejoy plan today and I’m going to complete it, beginning to end. Can you do me a huge favor? Will you do it with me? I kind of like being held accountable, and if I know others are doing it too, it encourages me to stick with it. Kind of like running. Or streaking through the streets of Philadelphia.

Just kidding about the last part.

Kind of.

Come on. Will you do it with me? (Yes, Of Course! /  No)

…I dare you to click ‘No.’

If you are doing this with me, leave me a little comment here, so I know who you are, and can have us T-shirts made with Molly’s face on them. Nothing says “I love you” like wearing someone’s face across your boobs.

At the very least, promise me that you’ll take the next step in something in your life right now. Maybe it’s your life list. Maybe it’s the next step in a home/apartment remodel. Maybe it’s the next chapter in the novel or memoir that you’re writing. Whatever it is, promise yourself that you’re going to move forward.

And when it doubt, remember to just take the next step.

Sometimes it’s a blind leap, but take it anyway.

*photo credit: aesum

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Comments (11)

11 Responses to “Confession: Moving Did Not Make Me Happy”

  • suki Says:
    May 14th, 2010 at 8:24 am

    I'm a day ahead of you because I purchased it yesterday, but yes – let's do this together!

  • Mary Says:
    May 14th, 2010 at 8:41 am

    I am so in. The combination of the "name your price" announcement and this poignant post is more than a nudge. And I SO want to wear Molly's face across my boobs!

  • Manderz Says:
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:33 am

    I’m starting June 1st – but I will totally root you on before then. I have a habit of starting things but never finishing them. Or on following through with all my plans. Difficult habits to break, but they can be done! It takes a lot to share these “weaknesses”, but you certainly are not alone.

  • Kate Says:
    May 14th, 2010 at 11:17 am

    "You're so wise… you're like a miniature buddah covered in hair."

    Sorry, that was an Anchorman reference there.

    I'm committed to the Joy Equation and I'm excited to see what's ahead. I already completed my first journal prompt! holler.

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    May 17th, 2010 at 5:32 am

    Oh dear lord. I can't wait to be splashed across your chest! XO

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    May 17th, 2010 at 5:33 am

    I'm sending you a fresh Joy Plan 'cause I totally support you in working through it again and fully!!!

    GO KATIE!

    XOXO

  • zazazu Says:
    May 17th, 2010 at 9:04 am

    I love this post, this blog, the Joy Plan program… everything!

    This post especially speaks to me because I, too, thought that my entire life would change when I moved. I still think that, to a certain extent, I think. I bought and renovated a 109-year-old bungalow and lived with family while the house was being renovated (and through emergency open heart surgery recovery). I FINALLY moved into the house and really thought that moving would change my life completely.

    It hasn't so much actually. And I'm disappointed in that!

    And now I feel like if I moved TOWNS my life would be so much different and better. And deep down I know that isn't true.

    And, I have no idea what to do about it. Maybe the Joy Plan is just the answer.

    Thanks for a post that I can totally relate to. Cheers!

    msred5@yahoo.com

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    May 18th, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    I have no idea who's quote this is, but I think it's perfect for your comment!

    "Wherever you go, there you are."

    You can change your circumstances, but without addressing the inner work, nothing actually shifts. Sounds like you came to that conclusion on your own though, smartiepants!

    XO

  • rachel Says:
    May 19th, 2010 at 9:50 am

    I just ordered the program yesterday and I cannot wait to get a wonderful journal and dig in! That's one of my biggest problems, never finishing what I start, but that is one of the top things I hope to change with the 30 day commitment!
    I've come to this site for several months now; I found it right when I was in the deepest part of my rut, and what you all have said on here made me remember that I have more to live out! And thankfully with Molly's "name your own price" I was able to afford the program to get even more out of this experience! Thank you all!

  • I hit a roadblock on my journey to authentic happiness | Stratejoy | Conquer Your Quarterlife Crisis through Fresh Strategies for Real Joy Says:
    May 20th, 2010 at 8:58 am

    [...] past week, a very good friend of mine came over to my house. You know, the one that still doesn’t feel like home yet?  She stopped by to drop a few things off to me, and she stayed for a few hours and we just played [...]

  • Casey Says:
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    Took the words right outta my mouth! I'm right there with you sister!

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