Lemon Cake Lessons (Or, Letting Go of Perfection)

posted 12th May 2010    Written by: Heather Rae    CATEGORY: Heather Rae, Season 2

While writing this post, I simultaneously baked a cake for the dinner I’m attending tonight and brainstormed ideas for the end of my book.  Seriously, the last few weeks have been busy.

Here’s the good news – the first draft of my book should be done this week!  I’m super excited about this.  It will be two weeks later than I originally planned, but I’m still happy with my progress.  I pushed my deadline back only because I took two week long trips that I hadn’t previously expected (one to Seattle and one to Las Vegas).  Both trips were a blast and definitely worth the setback.

The less good news is – I’m having a bit of a cake disaster.

You see, the cake I baked is a two layer lemon cake with a lemon filling and whipped cream frosting.  It’s a pretty awesome recipe if I must say so myself (and I must).  So I baked the cake in two separate round tins.  After taking the cakes from the oven, I waited the obligatory ten minutes, giving them time to cool before flipping the pans and transferring each layer to a plate.

After ten minutes, the pans felt a bit warm.  But I decided to move forward with the flipping and transferring (after all, the recipe said I could).  That probably wasn’t the best idea.  The first layer came out easily, and I placed it onto a plate.  The second layer didn’t go quite as well.  Actually, the second layer didn’t go well at all.  I flipped over the pan, and the center fell out.  Yep, that’s right.  The center of the cake actually fell out of the pan and onto the plate.  The surrounding cake was left stuck in the pan.

And do you think it fell out in one large piece, making it easy to patch the cake back together, frost it and pretend this debacle never happened?  Nope.  It fell out and broke into about fifty pieces.

Here’s the thing.  I tend to be a complete perfectionist.  I don’t like making mistakes, and I really don’t like making mistakes when the result of said mistakes will be seen by other people. Like with this cake.  If I were simply making it for me and Steven, I would be disappointed.  But then I would patch it up the best I could and move on.

The problem is I didn’t just make the cake for me and Steven.  I made it for a dinner party (a mother’s day dinner party at that).  Because of this, my normal reaction would be to freak out.  I would declare the cake a disaster, go to the grocery store and buy something already made.  I would pretend I never made the lemon cake and show up at the door with a completely different (and perfect) cake.

I’m trying really hard not to have my normal reaction to this cake disaster.  The last few months I’ve been trying to look at life in a different way.  I’ve been attempting to be more forgiving of my mistakes.

I’m not perfect.  I make mistakes, as does everyone.

How I became obsessed with perfection is a bit of a mystery to me. Was there a certain moment in my life that branded me a perfectionist?  Probably not.  At least, not that I remember.  What I do know is that in every day life, perfection can be a hindrance.  In my experience, it often gets in the way of completion.

I would like to be the type of person that works hard at the things I do, gives it my best shot and is content with whatever the outcome of that hard work may be (whether it be perfection or something else).  Now, this statement is a lot easier said than done.  If you’re anything like me and have spend the majority of your life attempting to be perfect, you probably agree that letting go of that ideal is difficult, at best.

I take small steps each day to move my life in a positive direction, to let go of the need to be perfect and accept what is.  That’s the commitment I’ve made to myself.  It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it (at least, my sanity thinks so).

As for today, I think I’ll just fix that cake up the best I can, make it look pretty and take it to the dinner.  The good thing is the flavor is really quite yummy.

And that’s what’s important when you’re eating cake, isn’t it?  In which case, that’s good enough for me.

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