Begin Where You Are

posted 7th July 2010    Written by: Heather Rae    CATEGORY: Heather Rae, Season 2

Last Wednesday, I loaded all of my belongings onto a moving truck and sent them off to Kirkland, Washington (a city just outside of Seattle).

And to be honest, I’m having mixed feelings about this move out of Los Angeles.

What’s weird is that I’ve wanted to move for several years. Los Angeles didn’t grow on me the way it did on so many I know. It always seemed too crowded, too polluted and too expensive for my taste.

But after several years, I got used to it. I became comfortable in my little apartment in Pasadena, and I developed close friends. I became accustomed to everything being an hour away – be it the beach, large shopping centers, the mountains or some random, inner-city hiking trail.

Here’s the think about L.A. If you’re looking for things to complain about, there is no shortage. But if you’re looking for things to love, there’s no shortage of that either. I love the people. I love that it’s multicultural, that I can find neighborhoods where people speak pretty much any language I can imagine, that I can live any way I please without people judging, that I can find authentic ethnic food just about anywhere, that there’s a college around every corner, that the weather rarely strays far from 75 degrees in either direction at any time of year. In that way, it’s pretty awesome.

And so Seattle has a lot to live up to.

I’ve heard great things about Seattle. And we ended up finding a great apartment about twenty minutes from the city. I’m excited for that. I’m excited to see where we’ll live, to explore a new area, to sign up for dance classes and art classes and French classes. I’m excited that I have a few friends up there already. And I’m excited for the friends I’m yet to meet.

But I’m still scared. This is such a big change. The weather is vastly different and the location is relatively far (from anything I know, anyway).

Last week, I was really nervous about moving day. I worried that my friends, those helping to load the truck, might not get there on time. I was worried that the company might not arrive as scheduled. I was worried things would break in an attempt to get them out of my apartment door and down the narrow stairway.

In the end, it all turned out okay. More people than I expected showed up to help load the truck, and we finished the load in a record 59 minutes. (I’m really hoping my clock was right, seeing as how I was charged by the hour for the truck driver to wait around while we loaded.) My friends were awesome. Everyone that said they’d show came through for me. All in all, the day went really, really well.

I did a walk through with the apartment manager. He looked around, said everything looked good, and I handed him the keys. Then something strange happened. I walked down the stairs for the last time and got in my car – and I nearly started to cry.

I did not expect to have this reaction. I didn’t think leaving would be so difficult. I didn’t imagine on the day of my departure, I would linger around, having breakfast, getting tea and taking walks with friends. I thought I would run to my car, delighted, start it up and go. I thought I would be ecstatic to leave.

In the end I wasn’t ecstatic. I was a bit sad.

For the next two weeks, I’m visiting family in Vegas, waiting for my new apartment in Seattle to be ready. In the few days I’ve been here, I’ve felt a seed of excitement slowly take root. Things are finally changing. This is exactly what I’ve been asking for. I don’t know where I’ll be or how I’ll be feeling about all of this next year. I don’t know what wisdom hindsight will bring me.

I read something today that said, “there is nothing you can do that can’t be undone, refined or done over. So don’t wait. Begin where you are.”

On an emotional level, I’m not exactly sure where I am these days. But I’m beginning. I’m taking this next step into the unknown.

This marks a new chapter. And I think I’m ready for the ride.

photo credit: whole wheat toast

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Comments (16)

16 Responses to “Begin Where You Are”

  • Eran Says:
    July 7th, 2010 at 8:10 am

    congratulations Heather! this is so exciting! Seattle is a lovely city – plus it's only two hours away from Vancouver and you've always got someone to have coffee with there :)

    It's funny you mentioned "Begin where you are"….I read that somewhere just the other day. Actually I think it was in Walmart – ha! Inspiration can hit us in the most random places….I'm pretty sure Seattle has a Walmart or two :)

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    July 7th, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Ohhhh! Kirkland is so fun & that waterfront is just lovely. It's a fabulous neighborhood!! (Besides bridge traffic…)

    And of course you cried. The move is a big change, regardless of the excitement ahead. I'm so thrilled for you though! Looking forward to welcoming you, Heather.

    And, like, Eran– I LOVE the "Begin where you are"… I was just having a phone catch up with one of my college friends and he said, "Sometimes I get so worried that life is just passing me by and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm getting behind in all the adventures I want to have, the businesses I want to start, the life I want to live." My response? "There is only one answer to that. Start. Just Start."

    XOXO

  • Kim Says:
    July 7th, 2010 at 9:02 am

    Thank you for this post Heather and for taking the leap – I've been thinking about taking such a leap myself but have let fear and need for approval stand in my way. I have come back to it though and have been contemplating it, and this post really gave me some inspiration to just go ahead and DO IT! I love that it was scary for you at first but you had such a good feeling about it, because that gives me hope for making such a change for myself. With that attitude you'll be fitting in in Seattle in NO time, like you've always been there! I hope that I find the same satisfaction. Thanks for helping me be brave!

  • katieleigh Says:
    July 7th, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    My husband and I are moving to Boston (from West Texas) in just a month – and I know it's going to be tough. I'll be right there with you in the transition. This is what we've been asking for, but it's scary at the same time. All that to say: I hear ya. And i hope your move goes beautifully.

  • emmajoan Says:
    July 7th, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    Since I've done a very minimal amount of moving in my life, it both is extremely scary to me and also so, so appealing and magical-seeming. You mean I could just move some where new, make new friends, get a new job, explore new things? Sounds awesome.

    So huuuuge congrats for making it happen and good luck! We all know you'll do great :)

  • Nikki Klecha Says:
    July 7th, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    I LOVE that quote. I think I need to frame it and put it on my bedside… or my dashboard. From someone else who's about to leave LA and all that's terrible and wonderful about it – I know how you feel. Travel safely and know that, as long as you're following your gut, there's no wrong move.

  • Romantic Comedee Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 3:34 am

    I want to take a leap myself, but I am terrified of the prospect, and also that my family will fall apart in the mean time. Still, it's time I really stopped living for everyone else and honestly started living for myself. Congrats, I know you will have a wonderful life in Seattle.

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    Thank you, Eran! And I will definitely be taking you up on that coffee. :)

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    That is so true…just start. That's the most important thing and sometimes the hardest part. Thanks so much for your support, and I can't wait to hang out with you in Seattle!

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    I am so glad you found this post inspiring! I know exactly what you mean when it comes to letting fear and the need for approval stand in the way of making changes. I just keep telling myself – well, if it doesn't work out, I'll try something else. This is all a big experiment. And when I think of it that way, I realize that I can face even the biggest challenges. :)

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    From Texas to Boston? Wow, that is a big move. You are going to have so many adventures!! Thanks so much for your support. I hope your move is awesome also! I can't wait to hear about it.

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    Magical and scary — Yes! That sums it up so perfectly. Thank you for the well wishes – I hope that I have lots of fun things to report very soon. :)

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    You're leaving LA, too?? Where are you heading? I think you're right. I should frame that quote and put it up somewhere. Sometimes, I just need a little reminder that things will be okay, and if I don't like how things are turning out, I can always make changes. Undoe, refine or do over…all perfectly okay. :)

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 10:58 am

    Absolutely! I know from personal experience that these leaps of faith are much easier said than done, but so far, I don't regret any of them. Living for yourself, as opposed to everyone else, is the best gift you can give yourself. Good luck on that leap you're thinking about taking! And thank you so much for the support!!

  • Mary Says:
    July 11th, 2010 at 9:42 am

    Heather! I just moved from NY to Seattle to start a new job here & I was so scared. Reading your post made me realize it's okay! & you know what, I had a fabulous first weekend here! So far, Seattle is living up to all my expectations :)

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 13th, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    I'm so glad your first weekend was great! I just arrived, and I'm super excited now. I can't wait to get to know the city! :)

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