On Road Trips and Friendships and Taking Chances

posted 14th July 2010    Written by: Heather Rae    CATEGORY: Heather Rae, Season 2

It’s 4:30 A.M.  I arrived in Seattle yesterday afternoon, and I can’t sleep.  Perhaps this is because I’m sleeping on the floor of our new apartment.  And let’s be honest, the floor’s pretty hard.  Or maybe it’s because I’m in a new city, I’ve got a million things on my mind and a million things to do, and aside from getting over the initial exhaustion, it’s hard to sleep with all that running through my head.  Either way, I’ll be happy when the moving truck arrives, and I get my bed back.

Getting here, I took quite the road trip.  I spent a little over a week in Las Vegas visiting friends and family.  Then I was off.

I drove alone to Seattle.  Now that was one experience I’ll never forget. At first, I was a bit scared heading here by myself.  No.  Let me rephrase.  I wasn’t scared at first.  I didn’t get scared until I started telling people that I was driving up on my own.  That’s when everyone started looking at me with wide eyes, asking if I would be okay, telling me how scared they would be if they had to make the trip alone, making me promise I would call when I arrived to assure them I didn’t encounter any accidents or ax murderers on the way.

This brings up an interesting point.  My friends are most often my biggest cheerleaders, always on my side, rooting me on when things get hard or I need a nudge in the right direction. But there are also occasions when they can be the source of my anxiety.  Like when I plan to take a 1,200 mile road trip alone.

Suddenly, I found myself wondering what would happen if I got a flat tire, afraid I wouldn’t find an adequate place to stay along the way, scared of running out of gas, anxious that I’d get in a wreck with a semi truck, hoping I wouldn’t hit a deer and worried I didn’t choose the best route.

Yeah, a lot of bad things can happen.  For the record, none of them did.  The trip went off without a hitch.  And I even kind of enjoyed it.

So why is it those same people we love most are often the ones that make us think twice before making a big change, doing something out of the ordinary or taking a chance? Probably because we care about what they think.  After all, no one wants to be a disappointment.  And taking chances and making change?  Well, those things leave us open for the possibility.  We might do something wrong or something simply might not work out as we hoped.

And then we’d have to face our loved ones and admit things didn’t go well.  We might even feel like we failed.

Of course, the fact that our friends care enough to warn us of potential dangers is also what’s amazing about them.  It’s part of what lets us know they care.  And true friends, the ones that love you no matter what?  Well, they do just that.  They love you no matter what.  Yes, they might remind you of the challenges ahead, they might worry about you, they might even question your sanity.  But in the end, they’re by your side.

The fact that I had a gazillion phone calls to make when I arrived, calls to assure my loved ones I’d made it safe and sound, tells me that I’m cared about, that I’m loved.  And as long as I’m strong enough to listen to the advice of others but continue making decisions based on what I want, well, that’s what matters. I’m happy to have a strong support system.  I’m happy that I’m pretty damn independent and am content to make the choices that are right for me.

And I’m happy to have so much love in my life.

Bookmark and Share
Comments (7)

7 Responses to “On Road Trips and Friendships and Taking Chances”

  • Katie [blogs] Says:
    July 14th, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    Friends are a great source of reality checking, but at the end of the day we just have to do what makes us feel happy.

    Enjoy Seattle, can't wait to come visit!

  • Kim Says:
    July 14th, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    I totally hear you on this – when I was contemplating a move the ones closest to me were actually the first ones to provide discouragment and opinions – it's very frustrating to hear from people you just want support from. I think on some level there is a kind of jealousy there – that you're daring to make a change in your life (which some of them are too scared or not in a position to do), and you're doing it without asking them first. When it comes right down to it though, this criticism comes from a place of love, and about wanting you to be happy and successful. And who can stay mad at that?

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 15th, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    So true, Katie. When we do what makes us happy, the rest generally falls into place. :) I hope to see you out this way one of these days – would love to meet you in person!

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 15th, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    I agree. I can't be upset by any advice that comes from a place of love. I don't always have to listen. But I don't get upset. :)

  • AndreaGenevieve Says:
    July 19th, 2010 at 11:06 am

    I am planning a big move of my own in the near future and I'm TOTALLY scared to do it but only because I'm worried about what everyone else is going to think or say. Especially those close to me. Considering I am moving from a huge cosmopolitan city, to a smaller, slower, southern locale… its an odd choice to most.
    I wish I could be one of those people that does what she wants and disregards those anxious feelings and warnings from others. I have only done that a few times in my life and everytime its been amazing. Sometime I even worry that because this move is a very calculated and planned event that it may NOT go amazing since it wasn't spur of the moment (meaning people have known about it and will have had time to mull it over and give me their opinions on it.)
    I'm hoping it goes well but honestly just have to wait and see. My sisters have both informed me they are refusing to visit when I move to my new city and that sort of makes me sad… I'm hoping its because they are still young and don't totally understand the value of life and making big decisions for YOU and only YOU.
    You are right when you said those who love you make you second guess, maybe that's what they are there for.

  • Heather Rae Says:
    July 26th, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    Andrea, I think that is amazing that you're making a big move just for YOU! I wish you the best of luck as you move forward, and I hope it is everything you hope and want it to be. You never know, it might be the best choice you ever made. And if it's not, it's never too late to change things again. (And I hope your sisters will come around in time.) Sending you big hugs and best wishes!

  • When One Chapter Ends, Another Begins | Stratejoy | Conquer Your Quarterlife Crisis through Fresh Strategies for Real Joy Says:
    July 28th, 2010 at 8:25 am

    [...] from Pasadena to start a new life in the Seattle area.  I arrived in the Pacific Northwest after a freaking long yet somehow amazing road trip, and the reality of leaving my friends behind hit me.  Then I realized I’d also moved incredibly [...]

Leave a Reply

name*


email* (will not be published)


website


comments