Self Love: I am Enough. And also, You are Enough.

posted 1st July 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Love/Relationships, Molly, What I've Learned

Most of you know a good chunk of what I do here at Stratejoy is coach lovely ladies like yourself.  It’s an immensely rewarding part of my business.  I am continually stretched, inspired, and in awe of the women I talk to on a weekly basis. I learn so much from my clients- probably just as much as they learn from me!

Which brings me to this:  Part of this authentic joy we talk so much about seems to start with truly believing and owning the fact that “I am enough”.    It wasn’t something I thought too much about at the beginning of Stratejoy.  I thought that our current situation, the current status of our life, was a base level to start with, to improve upon.

Self love?  Self worth?  I would get there eventually…

My seeking brain loved to remind me– Of course I’m not enough!  I haven’t build an empire!  I haven’t made all of my dreams come true!  I’m don’t eat all organic!   I should shave my legs more often!  Tell my friends I love them!  Stop watching hulu.com!  My financial situation is definitely not enough!  And on and on….

Well, I’m allowed to change my mind.  Finding new truths is part of this amazing self-realization journey we’re all on together.

So…  I am now firmly on the “I am enough” bandwagon.

Does that seem at odds with a personal development site dedicated to “conquering a crisis” or “gaining clarity for ridiculously awesome forward movement”?   I think not.

Before any conquering or forward movement, we must start from a strong, loving, secure base of self worth.  If we don’t believe we are deserving of a big bold bright existence, it will never happen.  And what I’m finding and exploring more and more is that this self love, this ability to believe we are deserving,  boils down to the ability to declare “I am enough”.

Try it.  Say it out loud.  I am enough.

What comes up?  Do you feel like you’re faking it?  Do you immediately start adding buts, or sometimes, or ifs?

Part of the time I still can’t say it.  I have a long laundry list of things about myself I’d like to be “better”. I’d like to call my parents more regularly.  I’d like to conquer my fear of failure.   I’d like to practice yoga everyday.  I’d like to be on of those girls who can sport dreads, ripped jeans, a nosering and look unbelievably hot.  I’d like to stop feeling slightly nauseous when I look at my bank account.  I’d like to volunteer more often.  I’d like to always have a clean home, sexy underwear in the drawer, and an art project underway.

So much pushing.  So many mores.  When I think of that list, it’s hard for me to get behind the “I am enough” statement.  But the days I can’t believe it?  Those are the rough days.  Those are the days when a hate email makes me break down into tears. (Yes, I get them.)  Those are the days I can’t shake off the fog.  Those are the days I start doubting my path.

You’d think I’d have learned by now, eh?  Because the days I can say “I am enough, just as I am, right this very moment, with all my quirks and foibles, in all my ridiculous glory”?

Those are the days that rock.

I am enough.  My name is Molly and I am enough.

I shall now launch into my enoughness manifesto.  Not to brag or dance a little narcissistic dance in the mirror, but to inspire YOU to write your own.

I AM ENOUGH.

I am full of sparkle and compassion.  I genuinely want to make the world a better place.  I love hard.   I practice kindness.   I’m not afraid of the truth.  I am loyal, adventurous, supportive, and surprising.  I am a woman.  I am enough. I make mistakes, but I own them and learn from them.  Sometimes I make a bunch of mistakes.

I am enough.  I am open, juicy, artistic, full blast.  I am also vain, emotional, demanding, and looking for answers.  I am a woman who is open to mysteries, accepting of miracles.  I am diving in, devouring, loving, protecting, peeling back the surface of petty desires to the hunger for connection, for belief, for truth.

I am less concerned with doing things correctly than I once was and more concerned with dancing, drumming, swimming naked.

I accept that a sense of wonder is something to cultivate. I accept that I sometimes self medicate with alcohol, with filling my life full of busyness, with going into self imposed isolation.  I accept that I crave financial abundance, a freedom to do what I want, when I want it.  I am still enough.

I am a lover of ripe mangoes, stars in the midnight sky, stories around the campfire, the smell of rich coffee, laughing until I can’t breathe, having someone reach for my hand.   I am a lover, a sister, a storyteller, a daughter, a mentor, and a student.

I am enough.

And I know in my deepest heart– You are enough too.

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Comments (24)

24 Responses to “Self Love: I am Enough. And also, You are Enough.”

  • Romantic Comedee Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    I have figured out that when you love yourself it seems so much easier to achieve those dreams. I am Erin and I am enough too. Keep up the Joy, Molly. You have already helped me so much.

  • Renee Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    One of my favorite quotes comes from Jane Fonda’s memoir, My Life So Far. She writes, “Good enough is good enough.” I was lucky enough to hear her speak about women and self esteem. She’s incredible.

  • Jess Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    So hard to read this post. I am so not owning this deep down for a long time now. I’m not even your core audience with my 40th birthday breathing down my neck this year, which makes me more sad. If I’m not enough now, when? Ever, Jess? Being a stay at home mom has really done a number on me, that’s for sure….

  • Alisha Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 8:50 am

    Pick your head up, Jess. It's never to late to start making changes and taking steps toward the life you want to live.

    As is your desire, so is your will.
    As is your will, so is your deed.
    As is your deed, so is your destiny. – The Upanishads

  • Alisha Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 8:51 am

    I love this. I wrote a post about a month ago that said just that: You are enough. It's hard to remember, but it is true.

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    You are so my crack provider on the book reccos… Adding to my library que!

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    XOXO (Thrilled to be workshopping with you ALL DAY next Saturday! )

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    Hard to admit, huh? And really, this age thing is really just a "marketing angle" over here. There is no "too late to start"… I don't have kiddos (yet) but I can imagine the hit your self confidence takes as your role shifts… More and more, though, I'm coming to the conclusion that those labels mean nothing. It's the truth inside that matters and your ability to share it authentically with those you love.

    Being the woman you'd like your munchkin(s) to model… Seems like a lovely motivation to start.

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    You ARE enough. Smooches.

  • Lindsay Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 10:02 am

    This was a lovely post, Molly. It’s definitely something we should all remember. It’s so, so applicable to women and I’m sure many of us can relate. Thanks for sharing!

  • kate_morgan Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 7:18 pm

    Zomg. Yes.

    I broke down the other night because I felt so overwhelmed with work, and I was convinced that my co-workers thought that I wasn't…well, enough. Truth is, it was me that didn't feel like I was enough. Sometimes, it's so hard to be your own personal cheerleader. But, I'm sitting down this afternoon, and I'm going to write me own enoughness manifesto.

    Thank you so much for sharing this Molly. You ARE awesome.

  • Marian Schembari Says:
    July 2nd, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Oh my God I LOVE THIS. Way to go Molly!

  • AuntBT Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 9:23 am

    I love this. I forget all the time, I get too wrapped up. This post makes me sad that I forget, but happy that I'm in a better place than I could be. That makes me enough.

  • Meredith Stevens Says:
    July 28th, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    This is such a hard thing to remember. Truly, I have things in my life that I'm proud of, but I'm still always figuring out who I am as a person, and many times that just doesn't feel like enough. It honestly was hard to say "I am enough" out loud. How am I supposed to remember this, when constantly faced with reasons of not being good enough?!? It feels overwhelming sometimes. Thanks to your post though Molly, it's a good start to keeping it top of mind.

    And to all of Molly's readers and to you Molly, you're not alone in this. And you all are enough!!!

  • Katherine Says:
    April 8th, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Molly. Thank You. This post forced me to change so much of what I was thinking about myself and how I was viewing the world around me. It was things I'd told women who came before me, and things I'd been told many times by women wiser than myself…..and somehow, right at the moment I needed it the most, this reminder and this challenge to write my own manifesto came at the perfect time just a few short months ago.

    My progress is slow, but forward moving and in a much better direction! :)

    When I feel stuck and overwhelmed and like I'm slipping backward, I pull my manifesto out and centre myself again. It's comforting to remember that there are incredibly unique and awesome parts of me AND that the parts that are darker and that I have let myself feel inferior for, are also to be loved, 'cause those are also the things that make me exactly the woman I am today. The parts of me that I struggle with (ie: deeply emotional, easily wounded) are also the parts that lend heavily to some of my very best "unique and awesome" qualities (my compassion, intuition, empathy etc.)!

    Thank you for your inspiration, optimism and gentle nudging to push ourselves forward.

  • Angela C. Says:
    May 2nd, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    AWESOME post! What woman doesn't struggle with this! There is always more we could be doing but the day isn't long enough and why do we have to anyway? WE ARE ENOUGH! I AM ENOUGH. :) Fabulous, inspirational post! I WILL be pointing women over to your site!!

  • Susan Young Says:
    June 6th, 2011 at 4:17 am

    So thankful for beautiful you Molly!! You encourage & strengthen me more than you know and I'm so grateful for you!! How wonderful it is to know I'm not in this alone. Much love always, Susan Young <3

  • Molly_Mahar Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    Much love to YOU Susan. XOXO

  • Molly_Mahar Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    You are absolutely enough. Yes, yes, and yes.

  • Molly_Mahar Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    THIS IS SO TRUE —–> "The parts of me that I struggle with (ie: deeply emotional, easily wounded) are also the parts that lend heavily to some of my very best "unique and awesome" qualities (my compassion, intuition, empathy etc.)! "

    Thanks for sharing Katherine, and I'm so glad this found you when you needed it.

  • Molly_Mahar Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    Kisses, kisses. To everyone creating a manifesto!!

  • Julie Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 1:24 pm

    Beautifully written and honest. Thank you ;) You're right, I have way more "when I'm this . .or when I'm that I'll be enough" moments than I do "I am enough exactly as I am" moments. Saying I AM ENOUGH out loud always brings tears (WTH?). Thanks for the inspiration :)

    BTW . . don't know how you know Rebecca Rapple, but we also know each other . . such a small world!!

  • Georeen Says:
    July 30th, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    This made me cry. My entire life has been devoted to "what can I do next?" and always feeling like I can do more and even when I've bitten off more than I can chew, so to speak, I hunt down another steak. I really needed to read this. Thanks, Molly.

  • THE ENOUGHNESS MANIFESTO « CARLY LOVES Says:
    January 5th, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    [...] was confronted with the idea of “enoughness” this morning when I read this blog post in which Molly makes a bold declaration: Before any conquering or forward movement, we must start [...]

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