How it Unfolded

posted 14th August 2010    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: Job/Career/Work, Quarterlife Crisis, Renee, Season 3

Looking back, it’s possible that quitting my job with the United States House of Representatives wasn’t the best decision I’ve ever made, but I’m starting to realize it was one of the first authentic decisions I’ve ever made.

I was the classic surface-level over-achiever. I knew what it took to look good on paper. I knew when to flash my pearly whites when meeting the right people. I knew how to think out loud to those who could make something happen for me. And all of that landed me a job managing the schedule of a freshman Democrat in Congress who represented a Republican agriculture district in a state that produced a controversial black President in an election that produced a volatile social and political climate. Yeah, I was on the front lines of political assault.

Day in and day out, I’d answer the phone to angry constituents, outraged over the first inklings of universal healthcare. There were injured veterans who couldn’t afford the gas to get them to the VA hospital. There were lobbyists demanding five minutes of my boss’s time. There were weekend events at fundraisers, schools, and legion halls. There were conference calls during evening hair appointments. There were orders coming from too many chiefs. And did I mention I was commuting 90 miles round trip?

Six months into it, I knew not even the student loan payback was making my “dream job” worthwhile. I was not happy. I started looking into getting my teaching certificate, was offered a job at a coffeehouse closer to home, gave my two week’s notice, and barely looked back.

That was July of 2009 and is nowhere near the end of my story.

I started working at the coffeeshop 5:30am-2:00pm five days a week. It was wonderful at first. I was even promoted to manager in September. But it went downhill quickly. I was told my teaching certificate would take six years part time. The hours and social environment of the coffeeshop became toxic.

I broke down.

In January 2010, I demoted myself and cut back my hours to focus on freelance writing. I was crushed when writing didn’t pay my bills immediately so I started waiting tables at a cute little Italian restaurant… and again, I found myself working seven days a week. Stressed. Unhappy. Worn thin. After nearly a month straight without a day off, I knew I had to make a decision before yet another meltdown.

I finally said goodbye to the coffeeshop. I now work weekends at the restaurant while I wait to start my graduate studies next week (!!!). I have rediscovered a love for cooking and a surprising devotion to bikram yoga. I ride my bike to the farmers markets and catch up on feminist literature in the sunshine. I play video games with my husband late into the evening. I plan real and fake vacations. I enthusiastically look forward to football season. I listen to way too many podcasts. I ignore my messy kitchen. I am learning to sew, to bake, and to love myself authentically. It seems I’ve found all I need but I know my journey is only beginning. But, for the first time, I’m excited to continue down this path because it finally feels just right.



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Comments (16)

16 Responses to “How it Unfolded”

  • Alisha Says:
    August 14th, 2010 at 7:29 am

    First: I know I've said this before, but we have a lot–a LOT–in common.

    Second: how freeing it must be to be able to say "I don't know what I'm doing, but whatever it is, it feels right." That's awesome! It takes guts to clear your mind of the expectations others have of you (and the ones you may have of yourself) and just live by intuition.

  • Renee Says:
    August 14th, 2010 at 7:51 am

    Alisha, living by intuition has been one of the hardest endeavors I've ever tried… but so, so worth it. I feel so motivated to jump head first into MY future. Finally!

  • Just Me Says:
    August 14th, 2010 at 8:20 am

    Intuition is one of our biggest allies.

    Although it can be difficult to listen to at first…believe me…I know. :)

  • Erin Says:
    August 14th, 2010 at 9:19 am

    I quit my first "real" job out of college after just a few months. Even though it was a job in my field, I was miserable there. I was constantly sick and stressed. Luckily, I was able to quit and move into a dream position that I've been in ever since. Still, it was tough to leave that job, to choose what was best for me. I'm so glad you are feeling so excited about your path!

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    August 14th, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    CHEERS, girl!!! What a great feeling, to know that things are just right! lovely.

  • Marianne_A Says:
    August 15th, 2010 at 9:41 am

    What are you getting your master's in? Glad you were able to decide on a new, better path!

  • Doniree Says:
    August 16th, 2010 at 7:20 am

    I love that you're finding joy in less "things" and more "YOU" – it's amazing, and I know this next chapter in your life is going to unfold beautifully!

  • Manderz Says:
    August 16th, 2010 at 8:01 am

    Reading this reminds me of many of my own “obstacles” and gets me thinking about different options. Ones that have always been there, but that I so quickly brush aside.

  • Beckles Says:
    August 17th, 2010 at 9:35 am

    I discovered my love of baking a few years ago and taught myself how to knit. Now, instead of buying people presents, I make something. I get to relax and be creative and they get something they know I put time and effort into.

  • deebuzzing Says:
    August 18th, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    Girl! You said it! You broke down and the journey began. Woo Hoo! Nothin like picking yourself up to enjoy a delicious existence full of bike riding, messy kitchens, and learning (insert anything here). Your self-awareness is inspiring!

  • deebuzzing Says:
    August 18th, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    Girl! You said it! Nothin like treating yourself to a delicious existence, learning what you want, taking time to ride your bike, and learning how to (fill in the blank). Inspiring!

  • Renee Says:
    August 20th, 2010 at 9:43 am

    I'm pursuing my Master's in Communication Studies, specifically online communication and community.

  • Renee Says:
    August 20th, 2010 at 9:43 am

    I can't wait!

  • Renee Says:
    August 20th, 2010 at 9:44 am

    That's exactly what grad school was – something that was always there that I just ignored. I knew I wanted to go back one day, but I didn't realize that "one day" could be "any day."

  • Renee Says:
    August 20th, 2010 at 9:44 am

    I love this! I always appreciate handmade gifts so much more than thoughtless things.

  • Renee Says:
    August 20th, 2010 at 9:45 am

    Thank you! I can't wait to see how far my journey will take me!

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