Today, Yesterday, and the Time Before That

posted 3rd August 2010    Written by: Doniree    CATEGORY: Doniree, Job/Career/Work, Season 3, What I've Learned

INTRODUCING DONIREE

Somewhere in the middle, things in my life turned upside-down and back again.

Today.

Twenty-seven.  Blonde.  5’4″, size 7 1/2 shoes.  Not a shoe person.  I have a black cat named Roxy, a tendency to talk quickly when I’m nervous, and I live in a subleased condo in Boulder, Colorado.  I’m not from here.  I’m gainfully employed, albeit creatively including three steady freelance jobs that pay the bills and a million steady hobbies and projects that don’t, but that I’d never give up.  I’ve come to terms with the idea that while I want to teach yoga (and I’ve been trained to do so), I’m also reconciling that desire with the fears that I won’t “do it right.”

I’m working on getting over that.

My sense of curiosity and wanderlust frames most of my decisions, so yes I’m a bit nomadic and yes I want to learn everything.  I drink wine (gamays and noirs are my favorites), Scotch (Macallan 12, neat), and Grey Goose martinis (extra dirty, please).  Sometimes I drink beer, but since I don’t burp like normal people, I can’t handle much of it.  I consider it a Very Adult Thing to know this about myself.

My relationships mean everything to me. I’m the head-over-heels girlfriend to a brilliant and talented web designer, entrepreneur, and fellow idea freak.  Being in a relationship where we’re constantly collaborating, inspiring, challenging, and balancing is a crucially important part of my life.  I’m a sister and a daughter to a tight-knit family.  My best friends are scattered all over the country, and I couldn’t survive without them.  I’m Southern born, Minnesota grown.

I couldn’t care less about designer clothes, but regular manicures and pedicures are a top priority in my personal budget.  My alter-ego is a little bit punk rock and has a sleeve tattoo of symbols and things in Sanskrit about love, unity, peace, truth, and beauty.

Yesterday.

I completed yoga teacher training in November 2009, and left my well-paying, comfortable media buying job the day before Thanksgiving.  By December, I knew I was moving to Boulder, CO, and by February 2010, I was spending my days in coffee shops writing blog posts and finding myself face-to-face with Too Many Possibilities.

By May, I was still freelancing 20+ hours/week, and I’ve taken on a full-time job with a Boulder startup.  I’m in on the pulse of the tech scene in a start-up rich community.  I have health insurance and stable income.

I’m walking the tight-rope between being present and looking forward, in seeing opportunities where I am as well as on the horizon of my peripheral vision.  I know I’m still transient, but I know that I’m supposed to be here.

And the time before that.

I read Eat Pray Love on my twenty-fifth birthday and knew my own life was on the edge of something.  I had a friend that had just left a great job in pursuit of starting his own business so he could work from anywhere in the world, and  I wanted that.  By the end of Summer 2008, I was plotting how I might teach yoga on the beaches in Hawaii.

This meant a few things.  This meant that I couldn’t stay in the path I was on – attempting a ladder-climb at one of Minneapolis’ best and most respected ad agencies, living in St. Paul, and not having a clue how to get what I wanted out of life.

I knew I felt drained of passion and creativity and started having way too many and frequent panic attacks.  I knew that yoga saved me from myself and my anxiety, and I know that I had to get out and see more of the world than my neighborhood – beautiful and charming as it was.

Having no idea where those inclinations would take me, I found myself upside-down in my very own Quarter-Life Crisis, both absolutely delirious with and simultaneously overwhelmed by the possibilities in front of me.

How was I supposed to choose one thing when I felt like I could have anything?

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Comments (31)

31 Responses to “Today, Yesterday, and the Time Before That”

  • Katie [blogs] Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    I've seen you come so incredibly far since even 1 year ago. The thing I love love love about you is that you have big dreams, you make them known, and you shoot for them. You absolutely have been one of my mentors throughout my own QLC. I am so stoked to see where this next 6 months takes you. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for something big to happen!

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Katie, thank you! You've been an amazing friend to me over the past year and I can't wait to share the up and coming things here with you and the rest of the tribe :)

  • Rachel Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 7:47 am

    When I think about my life, there's the time before the first BiSC and the time after. I feel like that first trip changed all of us, opened up our eyes to a world so much bigger than ourselves and taught us all that it's okay to take a leap into something scary as hell because it usually turns out pretty amazing. You have come so far in the two-ish years that i've known you. You are a beautiful, inspiring woman on the path to so much greatness that I don't know if the universe can handle it. :)

  • tootsiemom Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 8:04 am

    Follow your dreams? You have! Make it happen? You have! You're one of the bravest, most determined people I know….and I am VERY proud

  • Eran Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 8:05 am

    Ack! I love that – "how was I supposed to choose one thing when I felt like I could have anything?" When I suddenly realized the world was a much bigger place than I had ever been taught/shown, I found myself thinking that every day!! So looking forward to reading your future posts :)

  • Kate Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 8:13 am

    I've been stalking…..I mean, FOLLOWING you for a few years now, Doni, and it's been so wonderful to see where life has taken you these last couple years. I can't wait to read all about your journey and see what's in store for your future!

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    Oh, I've already run my plans by the Universe and they're on board :)

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    Thanks, Ma! You're one of the most supportive and inspiring people I know, so that means the world :)

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Thank you! So what have you chosen since you were faced with unlimited possibilities??

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Thanks, Kate, my old friend :) I'm stoked to share my journey in the months to come – stay tuned!

  • Jessica Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 8:38 am

    Doni – it's great to see you're blogging here, I'm excited to learn more about your journey. Thanks for tweeting about Stratejoy, otherwise I don't know if I would've found such a great place to help me through my QLC….it's so draining but I'm so glad I found support. You give me inspiration to chase what's inside of me which at times, is so so scary.

  • Lindsey Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    I LOVE knowing there is no One Thing, life is so much better than way :) And Eat, Pray, Love is totally in inspiration for me too. So excited we are LIVE on Season 3 – I am looking forward to these next 6 months of posts. Yay Doni!

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    Do you have any idea how excited I am that you're writing here now? It's like I handed the Stratejoy torch off to one of my absolute favorites. So proud of everything you've accomplished and everything that's to come.

    Also? Brilliant: "How was I supposed to choose one thing when I felt like I could have anything?"

  • Lauren Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 9:22 am

    I love this! You are one amazing girl and I feel blessed to know you! Next time I'm in Colorado, a meetup is definitely in order :) Congrats on all your accomplishments, girl. Keep creating your realities!

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    You've been SUCH an inspiration, love. Thanks for the torch hand-off!

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    There really isn't – we have so many opportunities when we're open to them. Can't wait to hear from you as well! :)

  • marianschembari Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    I'm so freaking obsessed with you now it's not even funny. So excited to be on this little journey together!

  • Manderz Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 10:25 am

    I never realized until now that my thought process of late has revolved around “how am I supposed to have anything, when I feel like I can’t choose one thing”. Your version sounds 500 times more appealing.

    I’m really looking forward to your stint on Stratejoy since I find you incredibly inspiring.

  • Julie Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 10:32 am

    I'm a little shocked right now. I always relate a lot to Quarterlife bloggers but … well.. your words could be my words. Especially today. I'm trapped at my full time job, and I've been knowing for a while that I gotta make a move in order to develop my personal and business projects. The problem is that I find it hard to choose amongst the 1000000 possibilities that lie ahead of me. Freelance full time? Find a 4 days-a-week job or a full time one with flexible schedule, a part-time low-brainer job? Argh! How am I supposed to choose one thing when I feel like I can have anything if I set my mind on it. Your quote totally apply to my situation. I have a hard time choosing between being a freelance writer, a motivational speaker, a fitness and yoga instructor, launching a wellness studio, studying nutrition or staying in the web and social media business. So I can't wait to see/read about how you deal with big dreams overload. Oh – and I am reading Eat Pray Love right now, and I totaly feel like I'm on the edge of someting. Last weekend at a music festival I almost cried when Metric played Gimme Simpathy (readers, go listen to that song, and read/print the lyrics). I have no clue what it is, but I know I'm about to dive into something new! Can't wait for your next posts

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Hi Jessica! Thanks so much for that sweet comment! Hopefully you'll find more and more inspiration here through the other bloggers as well – they've got some really awesome stories to tell, but I think the underlying message that's so, so awesome is that – you're not alone! Let's learn from each other, shall we?

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    "Creating your realities" – now THAT I like! And I can't wait to meet you sooner than later, either on your coast or in my mountains :)

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    HA! Thanks! Can't wait to obsess over YOU later this week :)

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    It is all about perspective, my love. You CAN have everything… now… if only we knew WHICH to go for first… let's do this together, shall we?

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    So. Many. Choices! Hopefully you find a little direction here – I know these other ladies have such different experiences to share, and it's amazing how the common theme is that we all want BIG things, right? Also, thanks for the Metric tip – that's a great song, and now I'm hearing it in a whole new way.

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    YES. I feel that same way! It's amazing and terrifying all at once. Doniree, so excited to be writing with you this season & can't wait to see where the next 6 months takes you! Also, you'll teach yoga your way & it will be RIGHT. :)

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 10:40 pm

    Like how I gave Doni your "day"? Thought you might appreciate that! XO

  • Doniree Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    AWWWWWW MOLLY. Hug hug hug.

  • Alisha Says:
    August 4th, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    I love that last line. I can soooo relate to that. It's something I continue to struggle with: how to do all of these things I feel called to do, that feel so authentically me…

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