Friendship: a Reason, a Season or Life

posted 19th September 2010    Written by: Lindsey    CATEGORY: Lindsey, What I've Learned

I grew up in a town of about 5,000 people, so I knew the same kids my whole life. More than half the cherubic faces in my preschool class photo were in my graduating class. Thanks to a combination of Facebook and my being home for the summer, I know all about what each of these people are doing with their lives, for the most part. We’re life friends by default.

When I left for college it was this huge rush of people and friendships. Some lasting, some not. And more and more people have come into my life in my travels. Lifetime friendships, and temporary friendships. The common bond of elementary school no longer exists.

It seems like it’d be easier, to always have friends that you’ll know forever. But there are a lot of people in this world, and it’s just impossible to consider everyone a lifelong friend.

There is that saying: People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or life. I think that is such a lovely way to say “Hey, you know, I’ve loved our time together, but we are two individual people, and we must move on our own individual paths.” I like to have this feeling of okayness.

A Reason

We are all teachers, even if we don’t assume the title. I learn valuable lessons from the people in my life, every day. I connect with people easily, I am open and friendly and make fast friends with people of all ages and backgrounds. (My best friends in Tahoe were a 75 year old man and a 46 year old woman.)

These fast friendships, while not always lasting, are always reflected upon with pleasure. There was a lesson in that friendship, brief as it may have been. Maybe the end of the relationship came about because of a move or a disagreement or simply a lack of time.

But I am a strong believer in finding purpose in our choices. The choice to meet this friend, and share certain experiences or conversations. The choice to end the friendship, for whatever reason. These choices help me understand myself. And hopefully, the effect was mutual.

A Season

Friendships grow and friendships fade. Sometimes, people walk out of my life loudly, or sometimes it’s a gradual fade out. It’s sad, to know that this person who I’ve shared a special bond with is gone. And strange to realize that our friendship was, indeed, a season in my life.

Seasons change. Life is change. I think it’s incredibly healthy to embrace this change and love everything that happened and that was learned. But also love that you’ve changed and are moving on.

Seasonal friendships are reflections of personal growth.

Or, Life

Lifetime friends aren’t always around, but there have been so many reasons and seasons we’ve shared together I know that they’ll be around for life, no matter where I am in the world.

Even in this strange period of life, where I’m going back on my words (“yep, I am definitely moving to {awesome city where friend lives} soon” then living in not that city but living a nomadic hermit life, completely out of touch of so many people), my life friends are always there to support me.

The internet has made these lifetime friendships easier than ever. But nothing substitutes for the real thing. In my QLC, where I am absolutely confused about everything, it helps so much to have these friends that know me and all my quirks and fears and complexes. We’ve taught each other lessons. Built bonds that last through secluded summers and flirty falls and wayfaring winters and silly springs.

It still seems weird to me, after being gone for so long, that I have these lifetime friends. Even if I abandon them, I’m still Lindsey. And they still love me, and I them.

We’re all connected

Human interactions happen all the time. With the right perspective, you can get the most out of them. I look for reasons in all relationships. Like, right now, you’re here, and you’re reading me as I spill my guts on the internet. Our relationship is small, but you reading, that makes me feel really connected, and hopefully there is something you get out of this.

Then, maybe we’ll start emailing. Or meet in real life. And go to music festivals and hula hoop. Or bake cookies and ride bikes. But I’ll move to Argentina. And you’ll fly to the moon. And the season will end.

But maybe when I get back from the southern hemisphere and you get back from outer space, we’ll realize that we should still be friends. I teach you Spanish. You teach me about moon rocks.

Who knows? All I know, is that my friends are awesome. All of ‘em.

{photo credit : pareeerica}

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Comments (8)

8 Responses to “Friendship: a Reason, a Season or Life”

  • Emme Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 8:07 am

    Thanks Lindsey.
    I truly believe in your article!
    Namaste

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 8:19 am

    …or maybe I'll come visit you in Argentina and we'll learn how to describe moon rocks in Spanish. :)

  • Lindsey Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    bueno!

  • Alisha Says:
    September 20th, 2010 at 9:33 am

    Lovely post. Over the past couple of years I've realized that sometimes people come into your life to teach you a lesson about yourself or the world. Then there are some people that even though we are separated by lots and lot of distance, we are connected through the heart–and always will be. Friendships are really special to me. I only have a few very close friends and we'll always be friends. I hope to continue to find more people with whom I can share deep bonds with though…I really crave that.

  • emmajoan Says:
    September 20th, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Thanks, Lindsey! I definitely need to learn to let myself have that reflective moment at the end of seasonal relationships.

  • Lindsey Says:
    September 22nd, 2010 at 5:24 am

    It's harder to meet those close friends when we're not in the highly social environments of school, but I think these deep bonds will come, eventually! I hope!!

  • Dream in Grey Says:
    September 23rd, 2010 at 11:08 am

    It's difficult to keep this kind of perspective when you see yourself losing friends but you're right; the ones that stick, really do stick

  • Friendshippery | Dreaming In Grey Says:
    September 30th, 2010 at 3:08 am

    [...] places to read blogs is Stratejoy and last week I read a really insightful post there about types of friendships. It talked about different types of friendships and how you make friends with people not knowing [...]

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