My Mother’s Daughter

posted 30th September 2010    Written by: Marian    CATEGORY: All Posts, Family, Job/Career/Work, Love/Relationships, Marian, Season 3

When I graduated from Davidson and started that ever-so-fun job search, my mother read my cover letters, used and abused her contacts, reminded me to write thank you notes and was generally my one-woman cheerleader.

My mom has always been an out-of-the-box kind of thinker. Don’t just send a resume, if you’re applying for a publicity position (which I was at the time), send them a PR plan. If there’s something you want and you fail the first time, just look at it from a different angle.

A few years ago the family dog, Dillon, ran away while at doggy camp (yes, doggy camp). My family was on vacation and couldn’t do a hell of a lot about the situation. Long story short, my mother was a whirlwind of activity. She put up posters, called newspapers and community centers, even made a poster of Dillon’s face that the family put on the back of our car. My dad and her plotted where Dillon had been seen on a map and because of this she eventually found Dillon, despite her being lost for two weeks and had apparently been hit by a car. Twice.

And just this year I was held in British customs for two days and sent to a detention facility. Very scary stuff and not a ton I could have done to get out of the situation. I was being deported and that was that. Except my mom stepped in. I got a very powerful  media man to speak on my behalf. She organized all the things immigration said I was lacking and got them to reevaluate my case. Unfortunately, I was still denied entry. But then mommy called the Big Bad Immigration Officer directly and 20 minutes later I was free.

This is the kind of woman my mother is. She’s like a dog with a freaking bone – she just doesn’t give up.

She’s also pretty interesting. She graduated high school at 16, ended up as a radio DJ and eventually a reporter on CNN. She’s published a book. Went to the Sahara to dig up some plane. Lived in Syria for a month so she could improve her Arabic. Is in Iceland at the moment speaking at some conference or another. She’s basically exactly who I want to be.

Out of all the things my mom has instilled in me, it’s that sense of determination is what she really passed on. She recently asked me after I accomplished something awesome (can’t even remember what it was now), “How did you get to be such a go-getter?” Um…. Where do you think, woman?!

That said, we disagree on almost everything (mostly just to disagree), religion being the big one. I definitely disappointed her in that department, but I believe what I believe and hopefully that never becomes a huge issue between us.

Our relationship has definitely not been easy. I went through a phase in high school where I wanted nothing to do with her, but I guess that’s teenagers, right? We definitely get along better when I’m not living in her house. That said, it doesn’t mean I don’t miss her like crazy.

And as for the rest of my family – I love them to bits. My three brothers are pretty awesome, my dad is hilarious. Meaning home was always crazy. Back when the two older boys (I’m the oldest) were in high school, their friends would come over every Friday to have Nerf gun fights and eat all the food in the house. Anytime I’d bake you could be damn sure it would be gone within in hour. They’d play video games loud or run around outside acting like crazy people. Now they play beer pong on the kitchen island and have girlfriends.

My family is completely incapable of having a normal meal. The conversation gets progressively louder as dinner goes on until we’re all screaming at each other – but in a totally loving way. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because of this.

We don’t sing kumbaya or talk about our feelings but I’d consider my family to be pretty tight. I do adore them. I just can’t live with them. Partly because I feel like a child in that house, partly because it’s too freaking loud and I can’t think, partly because we drive each other crazy, but I did grow up in an environment that was 99% Awesome.

My family doesn’t particularly know or care about my QLC and that’s okay. I think my parents are just waiting for me to get a real job and start being an Adult, but I know they’re proud of me and want me to be happy and do things and have adventures. Hopefully I can follow through.

Bookmark and Share
Comments (5)

5 Responses to “My Mother’s Daughter”

  • Alisha Says:
    September 30th, 2010 at 9:22 am

    Love this. Your mom sounds like an awesome woman. How fortunate you are to have such a warrior on your side. I am most certain your parents are proud of you. You may not be an "adult" yet, but there's something to be said for a woman who is trying to blaze her own trail.

  • Gaby Says:
    September 30th, 2010 at 11:42 am

    the closeness to your mom is one of the best tools to have specially when we are leaving in our own. Im very happy that you admire her so much cause I admire my mom the same way. I can't live in the same house with her but I do love her and admire lots. The stuff about your brothers eating everything or practically distroying the kitchen and family room brought back memories and started laughing so hard in my office ( thanks for that). Remember the time when they tried to do a milkshake and lets just say that 90% of it ended in the kitchen floor.. plus the chocolate syrup… so there were plenty of cinderellas cleaning the floor before your dad arrived and we did a good job, me and everyone else that was involved in the milkshake preparation. :-)

    Marian whatever you decide to do , I know its going to be great, dont ever forget to be yourself and dont forget all the love that brought to write such beautiful things about your family.

    The best of luck to you and hope to keep reading such beautiful articles, they are so easy to read and very well articulated.
    xoxo
    Gaby

  • Nikki Klecha Says:
    September 30th, 2010 at 8:04 pm

    Your mom sounds like an incredible woman, and from everything I know about you, you are just as amazing. xx

  • marianschembari Says:
    October 6th, 2010 at 9:23 am

    It's fucking hard, isn't it? While my family isn't a gang of religious zealots, my mother is a Big Fat Christian. She grew up in the church, cried when I went through Confirmation, the whole enchilada. Thing is, she raised me to think for myself and have a critical eye on the world. Meaning I grew up questioning God. I never want to have this conversation with her because, as awesome as she is, I don't think it would be a conversation that would end nicely.

  • marianschembari Says:
    October 6th, 2010 at 9:23 am

    Nikki, you are so freaking sweet — thank you!

Leave a Reply

name*


email* (will not be published)


website


comments