The Satisfied Artist

posted 1st September 2010    Written by: Nikki    CATEGORY: Creativity, Money, Nikki, Season 3

We have this romantic notion of the “starving artist.”  As though somehow it’s noble to lose everything in pursuit of an art.  In fact, an artist that makes money is often labeled as a sellout.  Do we ever call a doctor a sellout for working in a private practice instead of traveling with Doctors Without Borders?  Do we ever expect an accountant to give his services for free until he’s established himself with a CPA firm?  No.  But every day actors, musicians and visual artists are asked to work for free, or looked down on for “selling out” and doing a commercial or signing with a major label or even teaching.

But artists need the same creature comforts and securities everyone else does.  How do we reconcile our need and drive to create with our basic needs of food, shelter, healthcare and retirement plans?  And how do we maintain our sense of artistic self in the toxic money-making machine of the arts industries?  Even when we’re working & selling our art, it’s a struggle.  A friend of mine was in an audition waiting room with a very famous older actress, and as she went into the room, she turned to him and said, “60 fucking years in this industry & I’m still auditioning; I’m sick of this shit.”  There is no level of security.

I, as an artist, have conflicting views towards money.  I vary between denying that it’s important (“I can live frugally and just be a nomad selling art and doing theatre – I don’t need stuff – money is made to be spent!”) and freaking out when I realize it IS important (“Oh my God what do you mean I have to pay $800 to fix my car??!  And rent is, ahem, HOW much!!??”).

I’m a nester.  I’m a Taurus.  I need a home space and some level of comfort and stability to balance my adventurous streak.  In other words, when my tour around Europe (hee hee we’re talking dreams now) ends, I need a lovely little home waiting for me with down pillows and my things.  I need walls on which to hang the pictures I took on my world trip.

I don’t want money to rule my life.  I see so many people my parents age (and recently, a lot my age too – scary) who feel trapped in jobs they hate because they’ve over-mortgaged their lives.  They choose the big house and nice car over a career they love or a life they actually get out and live.  I’m not judging, those are their choices, but they’re not the choices I want to make.  Unfortunately, I think sometimes I’m so afraid of ending up that way that I shut myself off to a lot of options.

And then there’s the lure of Hollywood money… Let me just tell you, the movie I was just in paid as much in 2 days as I used to make in one month at my full-time day job.  And I was a dirt cheap hire.  But the gap between those that work steadily at that rate or more, and those that have to empty their purses for the chance to book one of those jobs a year is the size of the Grand Canyon.

All this said, though, I actually am pretty good with my finances.  I never used a credit card until after college, and I really only use it when I’m traveling or for emergencies (which has actually proved to be a BAD thing because our society’s backwards in that if you have no debt, no one will loan you money).  I am queen of bargain shopping; I even buy my groceries at the 99cent store (don’t knock it til you try it!).  I always have a savings account which, though it doesn’t have much in it normally, is easily forgotten and therefore left alone to it’s direct deposits and interest accrual.  And somehow, in 2009 on a net income of somewhere around $20,000, I managed to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, travel to Grand Cayman, fly cross country twice, and travel through Australia for 4 months.  Don’t ask me how.  I might be magic.

I guess, ultimately, I’d like a job that is creative (not passively creative like, “I have to think outside the box so solve problems” but actively, imaginatively creative) that is always changing so I don’t get bored, and which provides me with the financial security to be a crazy, stuff-shunning nomad and then come back to my home like a little nesting bird.  I respect money’s importance in our society, but I don’t like it.  I want to love my job, but I want to work to LIVE.

[photo source]

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Comments (19)

19 Responses to “The Satisfied Artist”

  • BakerGirl Says:
    September 1st, 2010 at 8:29 am

    Wonderful post!

  • Lindsey Says:
    September 1st, 2010 at 8:57 am

    Yes yes yes! Exactly exactly exactly my thoughts right now. All of it. (I made $6,000 in 2009, and snowboarded 2 seasons at two world class ski areas and lived in Hawaii. The magic of the nomad!) But I especially get this: "Unfortunately, I think sometimes I’m so afraid of ending up that way that I shut myself off to a lot of options." I've found that to be so true in my life. I create a resistance to a lot of opportunities because I'm like: "no way dude, then I'll give up MY life and be miserable!" Then I question myself, like, well… maybe I should have?

    I want to be free and travel and experience, but damn-it-all I want my own little corner of the world with an entire yoga room full of straw mats and down pillows and a kitchen that has a full spice cabinet and pictures all over the walls that inspire me to keep livin.

    Love your perspectives Nikki!

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    September 1st, 2010 at 11:09 am

    why thank you! :)

  • Just Me Says:
    September 1st, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    I won't lie; I want to be famous. And wealthy. With one of those pools that has a disappearing side…you know those?

    Sigh. I love money.

  • doniree Says:
    September 1st, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    I love the way you talk about nesting and being a Taurus – I'm a Taurus too, and despite the nomadic, wanderluster that I am – I too, need a place to have a sense of home. I'm still discovering and creating what that means – sometimes it means people. Sometimes it means things… sometimes, it just means quiet.

    It's also quite motivating how much you're REALLY able to do on $40k. :)

  • curiousjessica Says:
    September 1st, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    Wow, this sounds so much like me!
    I am a dreamer, someone who gets so bored and needs to travel / change jobs fairly regularly, or I get really down and feel creatively stifled. I travelled around the US (I'm from Australia) for 5 months in '06, came home and bought a house with my now-husband. I'm a serial nester, I love my house, but for the first few years after purchasing it I felt lost, like the spontaneous, travelling part of my life has ended. It was almost like part of me had died, thats how bad I felt. But then things started to get a little easier and I slowly stopped seeing my house and its attached responsibilities as a noose around my neck.
    The older I get, the more I realise life is what we make of it, and if a mortgage means I only get to do one overseas trip a year, its well worth it.
    Your article totally makes sense. As a (unpaid) writer, I struggled with the desire to make a living from my work. Some times it still feels like wishing for a big publishing deal is greedy or wrong. But being a starving artist isn't glamorous! That;s why I have a day job :)
    Sory if my comment is totally off on a tangent!

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    September 2nd, 2010 at 8:05 am

    That's a great point – home isn't always a place. That's so true & I think it's something I need to keep reminding myself of. Thank you!

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    September 2nd, 2010 at 8:09 am

    I can totally understand that! For a long time, I've felt like any sort of commitment – to a person, a place, a job – would trap me and force me to give up other things I want in my life. But I realize that doesn't have to be true and I've recently made a commitment to balance, to finding ways to live a life where money, home, travel, family, job are all in harmony.
    Keep dreaming – it's not greedy or wrong at ALL. It's totally possible!

  • emmajoan Says:
    September 2nd, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    Ummm I need a lesson from you girls. I'm doing it all wrong! I'm doing it backwards! I'm spending money the wrong way! I'm afraid being used to my very comfy day-job salary is making me too scared to jump from hobby-dancer to profession-dancer.

  • alisha Says:
    September 2nd, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    Very well said! I think about this a lot…

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    September 2nd, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    There IS no doing it wrong! But jump, girl, jump!!! Or at least go for it in manageable but forward-moving baby steps. :)

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    September 3rd, 2010 at 5:16 am

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Lets figure out how to be a group of satisfied artists together. Hmmm like a Satisfied Artist union or something. Obviously without all of the crazy politics and problems that have taken unions away from their original point. Or maybe just a secret society…yes, I like that better, much more cloak and dagger.

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    September 3rd, 2010 at 5:29 am

    Ha ha!!! YES the Satisfied Artist Society or SAS for short! Perfect, I love it, let's make it happen!

  • Alisha Says:
    September 4th, 2010 at 6:57 am

    Julia Cameron says that the starving artist is a myth; that as an artist we don't have to live a life of poverty.

    But it is hard to not feel that way–especially when society and its conventions tell us that artist don't make money and that you have to work a soul-sucking job because everyone else does.

    I have the same desire as you; to be able to live a full life doing work that leaves me fulfilled. I don't want to get caught living to work instead of working to live. I hope your art does allow you to live; it seems to me you're off to a good start :)

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    September 4th, 2010 at 10:33 am

    I'm with Nikki- There is no wrong way- unless it isn't serving YOU! Sometimes those day jobs are golden handcuffs that are keeping you from living your life, but you've got to be SMART about extracting yourself, if that's even what you really want. But you know what, Miss Emma? We are all behind you, whatever you choose.

    And I didn't know you were a dancer!! What kind?! XO

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    September 4th, 2010 at 10:33 am

    I'm IN. Let's have a secret handshake. I'm an ace at those!

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    September 4th, 2010 at 10:37 am

    I kept copying new phrases to LOVE in this post as I was reading, Nikki. But I think that last line sums it up nicely.

    "I want to love my job, but I want to work to LIVE."

    I think so many people forget this! Or aren't even aware that it exists, since there aren't a ton of great examples out there… I'm with you chica. I want to do great, fulfilling work that makes a difference (coaching and writing both fit the bill right now!) AND I want it to allow me to do everything else I want to do in life!

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    September 7th, 2010 at 6:05 am

    I think we all, this tribe of gutsy girls, are making pretty big steps toward telling society it's wrong in a LOT of ways about what we can and cannot achieve. Let's prove them wrong about this, too!

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    September 7th, 2010 at 6:06 am

    I agree! And you ARE living it, you inspiring girl, you!!

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