Soaking It Up: Being Happy in the Midst of Crazy

posted 7th September 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Family, Love/Relationships, Molly, What I've Learned

I asked “Any advice?” while nibbling on smoked salmon and sipping Mum’s Rose Sparkling Wine with my bridesmaids.  We’d finished hauling and arranging the tables, my hair was still up in curlers, and we were all enjoying a down moment before it was time to tackle the process of getting gorgeous.

“Any advice for me?” I asked, ready to listen to my best girlfriends and my sister, the women who are such an important part of my life.

We snacked and laughed and discussed.  The consensus?   Be present.  It all happens so fast, they said.  Try your best to enjoy each moment of today.

Take a minute  to peek out at the gathering of friends and family at the ceremony and be grateful for their presence. Look at their happiness, feel their support, soak up their love.  Take deep breaths and look at the man you’re marrying.  Really look at him.  Try to capture the feeling of excitement and nerves and anticipation. When you kiss, kiss.  When you dance, dance.  When you hug, hug.  Be there, be present.

And knowing me, they added– Do not stress out about what’s happening next, or who you’re not talking to, or why that table doesn’t have any red wine.  Just be present to the amazing moment.  And then the next one.  And then the next.

Soak it up.

I loved this advice.  My whole life has been topsy turvy for the last few months: planning the wedding, remodeling the cabin, figuring out how to work (coaching circles! gutsy girl workshops! life coaching!) and play and live on the road, and feeling a deep sense of needing to refuel.  I’ve been planning, deliberating, making lists, working my butt off and pushing.  Lots of pushing.

And finally, the ladies nearest and dearest to me (including my momma!) told me to stop.  To breathe.  To be in the present.  To enjoy myself.

I hadn’t forgotten, but I had been putting aside the small delights in order to “Get Things Done”.  But a wedding, a marriage, a life really… It isn’t about getting things done.

It’s about soaking up the moment, the absolute deliciousness of each tiny slice of life.  It’s about choosing joy and doing good.

So I listened.  And I put their advice into practice.

My memory of our wedding is full of mental snapshots of small moments:  The Big Man looking at me for the first time in my dress, hearing Jake and Chuck play Fields of Gold for the processional, smiling at my grandfather as I walked down the aisle hand in hand with my new husband, our volunteer wedding coordinator fiercely protecting my special alone moment, climbing up the trestle with my bridesmaids to get “the shot”, dancing with my dad decked out in his tux and sneakers, watching Sammy carry an entire bottle of whiskey to his table, reminiscing with my high school pals as classic Pearl Jam songs played, singing songs I barely knew at the bonfire, calling the Big Man my husband for the first time…

It was an evening of moments.

Thus, a reminder to all (including myself!)– Soak it up.  Consciously choosing to be joyful and present is possible, even when life feels crazy. It’s something I’m going to practice and explore these next two weeks, as we pack up our entire life in Seattle and hit the road.

photo credit to paul, deja, dennis, & my sister. their snapshots were “60tized” on picnik…

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Comments (15)

15 Responses to “Soaking It Up: Being Happy in the Midst of Crazy”

  • emr1984 Says:
    September 7th, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    congratulations Molly! The pictures are beautiful and you were a beautiful bride :) The advice to soak it in and be present is perfect always. xoxo

  • Renee Says:
    September 7th, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    We walked to "Fields of Gold," too! (we didn't do a processional so it was being played while we gathered at the front.)

    You look stunning. Love, love, love the dress. Congratulations, doll. Being married is a friggen blast!

  • Carrie Says:
    September 7th, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Congratulations! Excited to hear your wedding news and to see what this year of traveling brings.

  • Alisha Says:
    September 7th, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    Congratulations!!! You look beautiful :)

  • marianschembari Says:
    September 8th, 2010 at 1:58 am

    You? Totally hot and totally brilliant. So glad you enjoyed your wedding to the fullest, you deserve it!

  • nikkiklecha Says:
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:23 am

    I'm so happy for you!!!! Beautiful! And good advice your wise women gave you, good advice for everyone. xx

  • Manderz Says:
    September 8th, 2010 at 8:37 am

    It looks like quite the celebration. Congratulations.

    It can be so easy to get caught up in the details and forget about the moment. That was some fantastic advice.

  • Marianne_A Says:
    September 8th, 2010 at 9:07 am

    Congratulations!

  • Lindsey Says:
    September 9th, 2010 at 8:51 am

    Beautiful! Congrats to you both, and I can't wait to see you out here in the great wide usa! xoxo

  • Molly_Hoyne Says:
    September 9th, 2010 at 9:25 am

    You lovely ladies! THANK YOU!

  • Abby Says:
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:28 am

    Congratulations!! I was married in April and took several mental snapshots throughout the day and I am so happy I did that for me. Now I don't have to look at the pictures to remember, I have my own memories that are just mine and from my perspective only.

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    September 11th, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    You are a stunning bride. I got married last October. Outdoors, with a rain shower and family drama, but I took similar advice. I don't regret a moment of that day. Now, sometimes I have to remind myself to be present in my life and my marriage.

    Congrats! Big Hugs!

  • Kelly Osler Says:
    September 12th, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Awesome Blog Molly…brought tears to my eyes for some reason…maybe because I find myself often forgetting to live in the moment, so it was a great reminder for me! You did look stunning and I wish you guys lots of happiness and fun. You are a girl to be admired!!!! :)

  • Molly Hoyne + Ken Mahar = Wedding, Love, and Family | Molly and Ken. Going Places. Says:
    September 13th, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    [...] We did it!  We got married, on a gorgeous day in August.  I already wrote a bit about this on the Stratejoy blog, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who came, and witnessed, and celebrated!  And huge [...]

  • Doniree Says:
    September 15th, 2010 at 7:53 am

    Congratulations, Molly! I love the photos, and I love your perspective! I hope you're planning to be present in Boulder at some point during your trip!

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