“I think I’ll move to Australia” (how to get through bad days)

posted 16th November 2010 Written by: Doniree CATEGORY: Creativity, Doniree, Inspiration, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, Tips & Tools

alexander and the terrible horrible no good very bad day, bad day, call a friend, good music, write it out

You read that book when you were younger, right? Remember Alexander, and his “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day”? I’d forgotten about that book until I was babysitting sometime last summer and re-read that book, and I thought of how I could actually identify with this kid. ”I think I’ll move to Australia” sounds like my kind of coping mechanism!

Except that Real Life doesn’t work that way, and we’re not characters in a children’s book (or are we?). As adults (or almost-adults, or I’m-not-yet-admitting-I’m-an-adult adults, or I’m-still-sorting-through-my-Quarter-Life-Crisis adults), we’ve got to put a few things in place in order to get ourselves through, and then out of bad days – from the kind-of bad days to the EPIC , curling-iron-burns-drank-bad-milk-got-a-parking-ticket-NOTHING-IS-GOING-RIGHT bad days.

I wouldn’t say each of these are foolproof all the time, but I can just about always figure out the right combination of tactics for getting myself out of a funk, or for turning what seems like a serious of unfortunate and unlucky events – upside down.

Here’s what I keep in my arsenal to attack those inconvenienty bad days:

Give in. I used to think that when it comes to things like bad moods, bad days, and even being sick – that the way I was supposed to deal with any of that was to fight it. Sucker punch, right hook, kick-it-where-the-sun-don’t shine. I’m a fighter! Right? Except, I found that that typically made me more exhausted, more sick, and made bad days worse. Why? Because instead of considering where we are or what we want, we’re so intently focused on that thing that’s bringing us down that we continue to attract more of it. I asked a friend once, “How do you fight that STUCK feeling? How do you fight feeling frustrated?” She told me to try surrendering – to admit I was stuck, upset, angry, sad, or just generally crankypantsed, and see what happened. What happened is that suddenly it was OK, and when it’s ok to be angry/sad/cranky, I find myself no longer fighting it, and suddenly moving through it.
The 20-Minute Rule. One of my bests and I have a standing rule when it comes to the need to vent, scream, be angry, or be upset. You have 20 minutes. 20 minutes to say what you want, bitch as loud as you need to, throw ideas and people under the bus (in confidence, and no, you don’t really mean it), and basically just stew in the icky feeling that put you where you are. At 20 minutes? You’re done. You decide that you’re going to move on, you decide how you’re going to move on, and you decide when you’re going to move on – NOW. And then you do.
Music. For me? French cafe music is enough to put me in a romantic-ish, happy, croissant-daydreams kind of mood. I dare you to put on Girl Talk’s “Feed the Animals” without a dance party happening exactly where you are. And, when all else fails? Get ridiculous. Find MMMBop. Blare the Spice Girls. Dig out your Ace of Base CD (tape?), Backstreet Boys, and N*SYNC and get that glimpse of who you were when those albums came out. Elementary school? Middle school? High school? I bet your ‘bad day’ then isn’t quite the same as your bad day now. Perspective.
Take it to the mat. In my case, that means my yoga mat. I’ve come to a place where I am totally ok walking into a yoga studio with a heavy heart or a cloudy brain. You don’t have to be a clean slate to walk into a yoga practice, don’t have to be in a “good mood,” or a “positive space,” or any of that. I’ve found that some of the best and most significant epiphanies, transformations, and edge-pushing come when I step onto my mat, promise to be gentle with myself, and then physically twist and rinse the bad juju out of my pores.
Hit the gym. Another instance where Girl Talk comes in handy: for me, the second I step on the treadmill and hit play, I’m run-dancing for the next 2.5 miles and after the first half mile or so? My energy is completely off of that bad day feeling and completely sucked into the adrenaline of a runner’s high. Oh, and science has told us over and over that endorphins are mood enhancers.
When all else fails, grab a bottle of champagne, a girlfriend, a lover, a family member – someone that loves you no matter what – and just put it all out there. Get it out of your system, toast to all the things you’re grateful for, and after a glass or two of bubbles? You’ll be asking “What bad day?”

What works for you? Do you hash it out with your friends, or internalize it all and process it yourself?

{Photo credit: @christopherdan}

Comments (12)

677812 Responses2010-11-16+15%3A00%3A27Doniree to ““I think I’ll move to Australia” (how to get through bad days)”

Lindsay Says:
November 16th, 2010 at 9:24 am
I had a horrible, no good, very bad, string of days a few weeks ago. My live-in bf and I were on the rocks…it wasn't my fault, no was it really his, and I was at a loss for how to feel better. I packed up my weekend-things, dried my puffy 3-day-old crying eyes and headed home to mom! Upon arrival I crawled in her bed and talked for hours about life, love, and what the hell I was to do about the situation. We proceeded to spend the remainder of the day with a very large Bloody Mary and more life-talks before my very-bestest-in-the-whole-wide-world girlfriends rescued me for a weekend of drinks, dinner and retail therapy. It was JUST what I needed.
san Says:
November 16th, 2010 at 9:40 am
Ha! Cool. I just blogged about this last week: here
nikki_klecha Says:
November 16th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
Awesome advice!! I tend to internalize all my bad feelings; I want to work them out, process them & solve them in my brain – but sometimes (usually) they can't be worked out, or even if they can, it doesn't do any good to try while I'm in a negative space. I use – and need to use more – all of these, but the ones I have to really remind myself of are the ones that get me out of my mind & just into my body. I'm a terrible procrastinator when it comes to exercise (even yoga, which I love!) and especially in a bad mood, would much rather sulk on the couch than push myself to move. But you're right, getting your blood & endorphins pumping ALWAYS helps. Thanks!
erinmakesitwork Says:
November 16th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
I love this, seriously completely, totally love this. As I sit here sick right now, mad cuz I have barely gotten any work done all week since I don't feel well. I am realizing that letting myself be sick is going to help me feel better.
nicoleisbetter Says:
November 16th, 2010 at 8:12 pm
Giant high fives for our 20 minute rule. Love you
megan Says:
November 16th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
I think I'm going to have to implement the 20-minute rule, that's a good one. It'll help keep me from letting the bad day (or bad mood) consume me and keep ruining everything…
Doniree Says:
November 17th, 2010 at 8:47 am
Maintaining sanity, FTW.
Doniree Says:
November 17th, 2010 at 8:47 am
The 20-minute rule serves a dual purpose, because not only is there a process for hashing through things, but it also means I KNOW I have someone who I can count on to take that call. win-win.
Doniree Says:
November 17th, 2010 at 8:48 am
I discovered that not fighting the sick and just letting it pass through makes it go away SO much faster. It also changes the way you treat yourself. Instead of "you're not sick, do this work, get it done," you're suddenly gentler… "you are sick. take it easy. rest a little." and that softness, I think is what is actually more healing I hope you feel better soon!
Doniree Says:
November 17th, 2010 at 8:49 am
I internalize some, but there's always a point where I realize I'm better served getting it OUT of my circulation – even if that means writing it out or running it out. There's something that happens between internalizing everything and starting to let some out… it gets lighter
Doniree Says:
November 17th, 2010 at 8:50 am
OH! Love that! We should write a little how-to book
Doniree Says:
November 17th, 2010 at 8:51 am
We're fortunate to have friends and family we can lean on like that, huh? Hope things are working out for you, lady!

“I think I’ll move to Australia” (how to get through bad days)

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