No Such Thing as the QLC? Bite Me.

posted 18th November 2010    Written by: Marian    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Job/Career/Work, Life Lesson, Marian, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, What I've Learned

If I hear one more person say that the Quarterlife Crisis doesn’t exist and that Gen Yers are whiny, self-entitled little babies I may just snap.

Do you know what I think when I hear that? I think: What did you miss out on? What dream did you never fulfill that you now hate people who strive to do what they love?

So I want to address some of the arguments people have presented regarding the Quarterlife Crisis.

Twenty-somethings need to stop whining and just grow up

I hate this phrase, “grow up.” Why on God’s green earth would I want to do that? When I was a kid and would sneak into my dad’s closet to steal his sour gummy worms I thought grownups got to eat whatever they wanted (namely candy), go to bed when they wanted and say what they wanted (I got in trouble in 6th grade for telling a kid to “fuck off”). Now when I think of grownups I think of bills and screaming children and mortgages and responsibility. Sure, I realize there’s more than that, but why do I want to speed up the process? Especially when every adult on this planet puts such an emphasis on the importance of youth.

Gen Y is the “entitlement generation”

This one gets me the most. What the hell does entitled even refer to? Here’s what I think: As a generation with “Reach for the stars!” posters in our kindergarten classrooms and teachers telling us the “sky is the limit,” we grew up believing we could reach the stars. That the sky was the limit. Except it wasn’t. And now we’re pissed off. Or, we still believe what we grew up believing and that sense of entitlement is really just us doing what we’re told, waiting for that life to start. Whether or not it comes is up to us, but Boomers say entitled like it’s a bad thing. Except I honestly feel I deserve – that I’m entitled to – a good life. And do you know what we’d be called if we didn’t feel that way? Pessimistic. Depressed. Unambitious. So I guess better to seem entitled than to waste your life away.

We can’t make up our damn minds. We’re career flakes.

I’m the Queen of Career Flakes. I want to own a business, go to culinary school, own a bakery. No, a coffee shop! No, an art gallery! I love social media. I hate social media. Travel! Stability! We can’t pick a passion and stick with it, or we have too many passions and want to do it all. But our parents had significantly less choice and our grandparents were born into a set career. A family business. A life as a mother. So before you start bitching that Gen Yers can’t make up their damn minds about a career, how about you take a career test and have a designated career counselor for all four years of college? Then tell me what you want to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE doing. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

We’re not happy at the bottom.

Meaning we’re no longer satisfied being someone’s coffee runner for a year before being promoted to answering phones. We don’t want to waste our time, seeing as we have 50,000 things we want to accomplish. Gen Yers are notoriously shit about “paying their dues” and with good reason. Do you want to know how much I learned at my internship where I spent a month making coffee for has-been celebrities and cleaning toilets? How to make coffee and clean toilets. Do you want to know how much I learned in the past year of freelancing and being a career flake? More than I ever learned at four years of my ridiculously expensive liberal arts education. So before you tell me I’m not paying my dues, think about how much I actually contributed to the world as an intern and compare that to what I do now. And then shut up.

Get over it

In this article on MSN, the author quotes Jonathan Lewis who says, “We must take a bite of humble pie, prove our value and get over our collective selves.”

I find it hilarious that people like Lewis care so much. If Gen Yers are just a bunch of whiney little babies who refuse to put the effort into their careers doesn’t that mean more opportunity for him? Why do you care how we choose to live our lives?

That said, I was watching 30 Rock the other night and Jack Doneghy said this: “The first generation works their fingers to the bone. The second generation goes to college and innovates new ideas. The third generation goes snowboarding and takes improv classes.”

But when looking for his quote I found this quote by John Adams in 1780, which has a much more positive spin: “I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history and naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.”

Now how amazing is that? I think Mr. Lewis needs to get over his collective self and start appreciating that we grew up in a time where all of this is possible.

[photo credit:  f-l-e-x]

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Comments (23)

23 Responses to “No Such Thing as the QLC? Bite Me.”

  • Doniree Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 8:09 am

    Standing ovation. We have more choice, more opportunities, than the generations before us. We can choose to get married during or right after college and start a family right away, and we can decide to wait on a family because we have other priorities. We can be full-time parents, CEOs, starving artists, FEASTING artists, location independent, and business owners. And cupcake shop owners. And book-writers. And coffee-house regulars. The beautiful thing is – we can be any and all of these things in whatever order we want. The conundrum is we can be any and all of these things in whatever order we want. I'll go back to the question I asked in my first Stratejoy post this season – "How Was I Supposed To Choose One Thing When I Felt Like I Could Have Anything?"

  • ChaChanna Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 9:51 am

    You are my hero right now! I love this post and am right there with you with wanting to snap. You are so right, the older generations didn't have all the options that are now available and just don't understand that there are different ways to do things. So, just because they had to struggle, they want the next generation to do the same thing. You're supposed to want better for those that come after you, right? I guess not!

  • Beckles Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 10:07 am

    Love! John Adams knew what was up. We have the right to happiness. Just because we figure that out before the more accepted midlife crisis hits doesn't give it any less value. It's just unfortunate that we have to struggle with debt from college on top of where we should go and what our passions are. That's the other thing that gets me, how much education costs for us versus how much it was for the boomers.

  • Ardith Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 11:25 am

    Well, the thing is– when we say that we don't want to work at the bottom… that's what makes people think we think we're entitled. The perception is that we _are_ told that we can be whatever we want to be and then we're also somehow conditioned to think that just by being "good enough" or "smart enough" that will be just fine. And then when, for some reason, it doesn't happen, we get sad and upset.

    What we need is a dose of Real Talk 101. That sometimes, you don't have to fall in step with how things have always been done, but that sometimes, you do. And either way, life isn't easy. And that it's perfectly fine to take time out to be yourself, and travel, and have fun, and that there aren't necessary, linear steps in life.

  • Alisha Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 11:31 am

    I love that last quote. It is so true.

    It is interesting the conflicting information you get from adults: I don't want you to have to struggle–but you aren't struggling enough.

  • mbreau Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    I love the growth of those three quotes one after another, and I think you're spot on with all of this.

  • Marianne_A Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Very good points. I think even if we're lucky enough to know what we want to do with our lives at an early age, we can easily go into a crisis when our wish doesn't work out for whatever reason. People change their minds about what they want too. That happened to me. Is it a bad thing? Well, it's tough to deal with, but what life isn't tough? The people who didn't go through crises might pretend everything is great, but I'm sure sometimes they wish they'd done things differently. For some people, the quarter life crisis is a reality, and for some it's not. But whatever group we're in, we should all respect each other and not make it some kind of war where someone is right and someone is wrong. Or someone is better and someone is inferior. I support anyone who's struggling in life and I'm all for trying to help each other!

  • Heather Rae Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    I would like to sign up for third generation. :) Love those quotes!

  • Kristine Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    Love this! I want to underline the whole thing three times. It's exactly what I've been thinking about us "Gen-Yers" but have been unable to express. Thank you for doing it so well for me.

  • Desi Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    Muffin, this post resonates with me so, so much right now. it came just when I needed it most! (schmeh).
    Love you…

  • nicoleisbetter Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    WHAT SHE SAID

  • emmajoan Says:
    November 19th, 2010 at 7:46 am

    Get it, Marian! Thank you! I think our parents' generation (not that I don't love and respect them) are being the hypocrites here! They raised us to be like this ;)

    I also feel like women feel this pressure and the multiple options more ferociously than men. I know this site overwhelmingly slants female anyway (yay!), but I wonder if it has to do with emotions/bigger brains/a more exponential growth in opportunities than men/our uteri, but have you girls noticed this? I know very few men who seem to be nearly as QLC-y than the awesome women I know.

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    November 19th, 2010 at 8:59 am

    You saucy slacker! Or overachiever! Or whiny brat! Or entrepreneur who travels the world! Yup, all and none. LOVE THIS POST. And the quotes? Golden.

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    November 19th, 2010 at 9:01 am

    I can't decide if it's just that men don't TALK about it (don't want to share confusion because confusion equals weakness) or if they really and truly don't FEEL it. I do have a few men who talk to me about their QLC, but far fewer than I imagined might….

    What do ya'll think?

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    November 19th, 2010 at 9:04 am

    Linear is a sham! (Agreed) But I do think that the world world is starting to slant towards talent and drive, instead of age and experience. Slowly, slowly….. The thing is- not all of Gen Y is talented and driven, and yes- some peeps are gonna have to get coffee to start things off. But some of Gen Y should NOT BE GETTING COFFEE! (Hmm. Lost my point and starting to rant…)

    p.s. Hi A! How's grad school treating you, babe?

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    November 19th, 2010 at 9:05 am

    Yup. Yup. Have you read the Renaissance Soul?

  • Ardith Says:
    November 19th, 2010 at 9:21 am

    Some of us like to make our own coffee! Others like to take a perfectly good cup of coffee that's been made for us, sprinkle some cinnamon and organic soy milk in and go from there! And some of Gen Y thinks they don't need to share with the generation above us, but some of Gen Y wants to let the older generations know that just because we like whipped cream and a bazillion shots in our lattes, doesn't mean we're any less accountable than an 8oz. black, brewed coffee.

    Wow. Coffee analogies, for the win!

    Grad school is absolutely wonderful (I say as I type from one of my offices, heh). We're almost done with the first term, and I definitely think student affairs was the right choice! I'm starting the process to apply for summer internships here there and everywhere, as well as lining up internships on-campus for spring and winter. Love love love this program.

  • Ardith Says:
    November 19th, 2010 at 9:23 am

    Oh, and I have an amazing transitions professor (he got his MA in Ceramics right around the Vietnam War era, no joke), and he also put a positive spin on Gen Y. He reminded us that Gen Y might demand a lot, but we come in with the ability to find information fast and collaborate using methods that are dizzying to his generation.

  • Big L Says:
    November 19th, 2010 at 9:59 am

    Love this, Marian!! I TOTALLY hear and you and agree in every way! My co-blogger and I have each written a similar post / rant about people not getting it! If you want to read more about how much we're on the same page, this is hers http://tinyurl.com/34dhhdq and this is mine http://tinyurl.com/2cv56t8. I know that sounds self-promoting or weird…I don't mean it to be. I just love it when we're reminded of how much we're really in this together! :-) Yay for togetherness!

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    November 19th, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    Hells Fuckin' Yeah!!!! I love this & thank you so much for putting into words what is sooo sooooo true & I find hard to articulate when I'm put on the spot by one of the "get over it" people. We are CHOOSING to have a life we want. Everyone else could do the same thing if they had the guts, the drive, and the imagination. Usually when I'm being attacked, it's fairly obvious it's because the attacker feels trapped & sees what I'm doing as "not fair." But I don't want to argue with them, there's no right or wrong – EVERYONE deserves to be happy & can choose to change their lives, no matter the generation!

  • Ali Says:
    November 19th, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    Um, AMEN AMEN AMEN.

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    November 23rd, 2010 at 11:35 am

    This whole quarter life crisis thing is happening because we ARE a generation of go-getters. We're a generation of world-changers and we won't settle for spending out lives in cubicles doing something we hate. Instead we're willing to take risks in order to do something we believe in we're passionate, strong, empowered. You can't keep us down and we won't shut up. This country was founded by a group of people who weren't willing to throw their beliefs and values out the window in an effort to conform. Gen Yers aren't either. I also believe that it's impossible for an 18 year old to know what they want to do forever. At least, the average 18 year old. I am contributing, I am working…I'm building a life I am passionate to live. It takes hard work…and as a result, I'm willing to sacrifice.

  • Nothing a Little TV Won't Fix | Stratejoy | Conquer Your Quarterlife Crisis through Fresh Strategies for Real Joy Says:
    November 25th, 2010 at 8:03 am

    [...] latter, either. Basically, my days are pretty much the same. Day in, day out, and that’s my Quarterlife Crisis. Hardly any sobbing moments of depression or seizures of fear gripping my heart, but just weeks of [...]

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