I Have Faith In What I See

posted 30th December 2010    Written by: Marian    CATEGORY: All Posts, Life Lesson, Marian, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, Spirituality, What I've Learned

One of the issues with being a blogger is that your minister might read that sex post your wrote. Or your mom might see that picture of last Spring’s night in Cancun. You know, the usual difficulties of a life led online.

In this case, what I’d really like to talk to you about is actually inappropriate given the medium in which I write. My struggles with religion and my inability to have faith in anything other than what’s in front of me are deep-rooted and have been part of my quarterlife crisis even before I reached my quarter life.

So instead of causing a rift with folks I don’t want to rift with, let me boil down the basics for you: As I get older I see more and more bad things happening in the world because of religion. War and prejudice. More negativity than support. More judgment than forgiveness. It’s both this and the way I’m wired – for me, faith just isn’t enough.

I have faith believe the sun will come up in the morning. Because I’ve seen it every day for over 23 years.

I have faith believe I will wake up and Sam will be there. Because he always is.

I have faith believe my friends will always support me. Because they’ve never let me down.

I have faith believe my parents will always love me. Because they put up with my crap and are nothing but supportive.

What do you have faith in no matter what? What do you believe because there is always proof?

[photo credit: David Gallagher]

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Comments (10)

10 Responses to “I Have Faith In What I See”

  • emmajoan Says:
    December 30th, 2010 at 11:39 am

    I sort of have the opposite situation, Marian – perhaps I buy into faith too easily! I believe in the goodness of humans, even though I see and hear negativity more often. I have flip flopped between traditional Western ideas of Christianity and a more "new-age" Eastern-ish belief in the power Karma and Yoga time and time again. Sometimes I pray, sometimes I journal to "myself."

    I think one thing I see proof of is that – yes – most religions end up creating bad things. But when I look at the very heart and root of these religions, I see that they all boil down to love and similar good-feeling values. I think that means that everyone wants/believes in the same thing and that, well, it's ALL good. (And therefore, yeah, people who use religion as excuses for hatred, guess what, you're religion is not meant for that!)

  • Carin S. Says:
    December 31st, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    I'm with you girl. The older I get, the more I believe that God=Santa Claus. Sure, it's a lovely idea. But there's about as much proof for both. I hope you don't get many angry messages about this because it can be a very hard thing to be honest about (especially here in the South!) and I truly appreciate you putting yourself out there like this. I have a fish on my car and it says "Dinner."

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    January 2nd, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    I have faith that I will continue to grow as long as I keep pursuing passions. I have faith that as long as there are kind and compassionate people in the world, the Earth will keep spinning. I have faith that friends come in all shapes and sizes, including those you only know through a computer screen. I have faith in love, in all its forms.

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    January 3rd, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    WAIT A MINUTE. This is the stuff I want to know… "In this case, what I’d really like to talk to you about is actually inappropriate given the medium in which I write."

    Can we take it offline perhaps?

    I have never been a religious person, but I do know, I am positive, that we are not the end all, be all. I mean, just look a space. Space blows my fucking mind. There has got to be something larger, and I like to believe, greater, than we are. XOXO

  • Alisha Says:
    January 3rd, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    I'm with Molly!

    As I've gotten older, I've learned to appreciate and respect others' faith. But I believe the same things you do. I think organized religion is positive for some people, but not for everyone. It will be nice when it no longer separates, but truly unites.

  • marianschembari Says:
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:52 am

    I definitely 100% agree. We can definitely take it offline, but most people in my life are fairly internet competant and I don't want to fuel certain discussion because of a blog post, ya know?

    And space blows my fucking mind, too. So do trees :) and I'm pretty positive there are little green men. I mean, how is it even possible that we're alone in the universe?

  • marianschembari Says:
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:55 am

    I'm with you. The church I grew up in was pretty awesome and I think religion has united them. It's not just religion that's not right for me. I'm just not a spiritual person, which – gasp! – apparently baffles some people (especially women our age going through the QLC), but it's just not a part of my life. And I'm okay with that. Though I do love seeing when God and religion brings people together and accomplishes some pretty awesome things. But it also makes me sad when I see it (often) doing the opposite.

  • marianschembari Says:
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:56 am

    I love this, Erin! LOVE IT. I have faith in all those things too – thank you so much for your lovely comment!

  • marianschembari Says:
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:57 am

    I wish I disagreed with you, but, well, I just don't. So far no angry messages but I worry. Less about what strangers think but about how people close to me will react. Let's just hope they don't read the comment section…

    Love the fish ;-)

  • marianschembari Says:
    January 6th, 2011 at 1:57 am

    To be honest, I'd rather buy into it too easily than be skeptical. Consider yourself lucky :)

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