My Traditional Christmas Tree

posted 26th December 2010    Written by: Lindsey    CATEGORY: Family, Lindsey, Season 3

My family had a fake Christmas tree that we were experts at constructing. “Bend the branches upwards, like they are reaching for the sun!” my mother would instruct my brother and I as we assembled the prickly, metal and plastic tree. Then my dad would string the lights. And we’d all hang the ornaments – familiar ones, used each year. My dad always played music – everything from the Sesame Street Christmas album to orchestral renditions of Silent Night.

In college, I missed the annual tree assembly but always returned home to the same tree, in the same corner, with the same ornaments I had grown up with.

My first year spending Christmas alone was last year. I worked at a hotel, and I was recruited to decorate the tree. My boss gave me a huge box of lights for this little tiny tree with instructions to use all the lights. I had never strung Christmas lights before! I spent my entire shift wrestling with the fragile-but-still-lit-lights, tying them in knots around the trunk of the tree, and working outwards. They remained brightly lit for all of five minutes before – sizzle! – out they went and along with them, my Christmas spirit that movies always glorify.

I spent my next shift with my head buried in richly scented pine needles, seeking out the 2 or 3 broken lights amongst the thousands, grumbling bah-humbug to everyone in my wake.

I worked the hotel on Christmas, too. A strange experience, besides a quick call with my family, I spent the day mostly alone at my desk, reflecting. It marked a year since I had left home. A lot had changed. A lot was going to change.

This year, I’m even farther from my family. I don’t have to string lights on a stupid hotel Christmas tree, but I’ve found my fair share of trees. I attended the holiday boat parade in Jacksonville, Florida and stood under a towering tree while cheesy pop holiday music played. In Miami, I ended up at a fancy party with another big tree, bedazzled in the lobby. Now I’m in the Bahamas and there are no pine trees to be found. We left the Christmas lights back in Florida, which I don’t mind, because something tells me I’d be the one dangling from the mast of our sailboat, stringing lights. Who knows what Christmas will be like this year. There will probably be some lit up sailboats and maybe even a fake tree in whatever port-of-call we anchor in on the 25th.

I don’t put much meaning into the actual date anymore. My life doesn’t really allow it now, but I don’t mind. The holidays stress me out more than anything – PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS – outside of familiy time that’s all this time of year seems to be about. And movies that make it seem like not being with family on Christmas is the worst thing to happen in the history of EVER. I get my family time when I can make it home. It doesn’t matter if it’s the 25th of December or the 4th of July… it happens when I can make it happen.

But I know that back in my hometown, for the whole month of December, that same fake tree will be in the same corner of my living room. The same ornaments will be hung there. The same Sesame Street album will get broken out, despite the complete lack of children. And every tree I meet along the way, I will compare it to the one standing in Michigan, and think: “Those branches are TOTALLY not reaching for the sun!”

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Comments (4)

4 Responses to “My Traditional Christmas Tree”

  • Alisha Says:
    December 29th, 2010 at 11:12 am

    Lovely. It's so true though. The feelings and the time we spend with family don't have to happen on just that one day of the year. They can happen at any time. Safe travels, my friend. And happy holidays :)

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 2nd, 2011 at 10:10 pm

    I totally agree – you don't need a holiday to tell you to appreciate & spend time with the people you love. And I love that you're making your own Christmas & not feeling anxiety about it being different from your past. :)

  • Lindsey Says:
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Change is life. One day I'll have my own tree again, but for now, what's important is living in my moment.

  • Lindsey Says:
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Happy belated holidays to youuuu!

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