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Quarterlife Crisis Blog: Introducting Season 4!

posted 31st January 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Molly, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4

I know, I know….   You see this same post from me every six months…  But that’s because the Quarterlife Crisis is not going away as an experience of Gen Y women. And we gain so many new Tribe Sisters each new season that I feel the explain the purpose of our awesome, brave, and gorgeous bloggers. 

So you veterans- bare with me.   Newbies?  Listen up.

Want to make sure you don’t miss a beat?  Subscribe by RSS or Email!   Wanna help spread the word?  Tweet this: Season 4 @stratejoy is LIVE! http://j.mp/sjseas4 @violetzombie @mynameisBigL @habbala  @hatestweeting @deebuzzing @writeplayrepeat

Fact: The Quarterlife Crisis is a real experience of Gen Y, of women in their twenties and early thirties.

Fact: You are not alone. If you feel disconnected from your life, not sure what the fuck you’re supposed to do next, disappointed that your day-to-day isn’t living up to all the expectations you had for it, have that eerie feeling that there should be something more, are overwhelmed by all the possibilities out there, don’t know how to start and stick with something, or just feel totally unlike your awesome self–Yup, we get it. Been there.

Fact: It’s a slightly silly term for a real period of change.  Of seeking.  Of sorting out our best lives, on our terms, with the resources we have.  The term might be silly, but the process of growth is anything but.  And of course, we could call it the Quarterlife Quest.  Or the Quaterlife Challenge.  Or in Nikki’s term from Season 3, the Quarterlife Fuck Yah!

Fact: The Quarterlife Crisis is the a Rite of Passage. Embrace it. Use it to grow and learn and laugh hysterically.  Use it to affect positive change, or polish some rough corners, or make some major shifts in how you live your life.  Hey, it’s YOUR life!  DIVE IN!

If you’re a familiar face around Stratejoy, you know that we’ve been featuring guest bloggers for an entire year and a half (can you believe it?)!  Season 1 consisted of  Robyn, Kendra, Andrea and Marisa writing about their day to day experience of conquering (or at least surviving!) their QLC 6 months.  Season 2 featured Nicole, Heather Rae, and Katie rockin’ and rollin’ their way through self employment, major moves, new relationships, and the ups and down of the finding themselves…  Season 3 was full of Doniree, Nikki, Marian, Alisha, Renee, and Lindsey sharing their experience as freelancers, expats, wives and single girls, a mommy, living at home, a grad student, unemployment, a Hollywood actor, and a sailing trip around the Caribbean.

But today I bring you Season 4!! Without further ado, I am thrilled to introduce you to the amazing girls who will be writing on a weekly basis here at Stratejoy.  Out of 51 crazy good applications, these six gutsy women were chosen to share their journey:  Amanda, Laura, Bri, Katharine, Dee and Juliana.

(And you know what’s super cool? Amanda designed the lovely bio badges this season. She creates all sort of “Mindful Website Designs for the Creative Professional”.  Love!  You can check out more of her work at Violet Minded Design.)

These woman are gutsy. They’re helping spread the word that the Quarterlife Crisis happens to the best of us and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that fact.  They’re helping challenge the stigma that this “crisis” is considered a failure and that somehow we could have avoided it, if only we had everything figured out.

Those of us who have experienced/are experiencing a QLC haven’t failed.  We are not selfish Gen Yers wallowing in some perceived notion that life should be handed to us on golden platter. We’re not blaming our parents and our education for encouraging us to go after it all.

We’re simply admitting we don’t have it “figured out” at a time in our lives when we thought we would. And we are gutsy enough to take control of our happiness.

And as long as you don’t allow your Quarterlife Criris to take you down and out, you will be stronger, healthier and happier for it.  It will force you to really think about your life, to challenge expectations and to carve out your own definition of success.

These women are living proof of that.

What I ask of you?  Participate! Join in the conversation here on the blogs. We all HEART comments and promise to do our best to respond, interact, answer questions.  Become part of the community on Facebook. Interact with me on Twitter (yes, I talk about Stratejoy stuff & my personal life. Get ready!).

The girls can be found at

Let your voice, your opinion, your experience be heard.  Share, learn and laugh your ass off with us.

What’s new this season? Well, for one, we’re ditching the editorial schedule.  I’m giving these rockstars free reign!   I’m hoping this will keeps things fresh and exciting for everyone.  Also, I want to give you all a glimpse of some of the powerful growth that can occur by committing to your happiness. Each blogger will be tackling some personal goals for her 6 month writing stint and will get some extra coaching, support, and love from me.  Yay!  They’ve each promised to keep us updated and to keep things real:  sharing the ups, downs, wins, and challenges.  I hope it provides a little spark for you to get more involved in all the awesome that happens over here!

Who’s excited?   If you’re a loyal reader or a new reader, why not introduce yourself on this post (in the format of the blogger bios)?  That way we know YOU!  Even if you’ve done this before, come on gorgeous…. One more time.   Yes!  Community FTW.

Smooches.  And big huge massive sparks of inspiration and motivation.  Get ready for this wild ride!

p.s.  I updated the “Recommended Reading”  and “Best of the Bloggers” Posts!  Take a peek on the right!

p.p.s. I also updated the Store Page with my most fabulous resources for Gen Y women who want to live life on their own terms.  Cool eBooks & eCourses that I’ve read/taken/love.  If you’re interested, check it out, sugar!

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My Six Months of Love

posted 30th January 2011    Written by: Lindsey    CATEGORY: All Posts, Life Lesson, Lindsey, Season 3

I spent this evening practicing new hoop tricks on the bow of a sailboat in George Town, Bahamas. Six months ago, I lived with my parents and I was miserably freaking out about my life. What is there to say, besides the requisite, Me-oh-my, how time flies! How time (and hours of soul-searching, Joy-Planning, Gusty-Girl-workshopping, journaling, meditating, writing, etc, etc, etc) changes everything!

In six months I’ve experienced so many twists and turns and ups and downs that it’s sometimes hard to see where I even started. My roadmap is a bit schizophrenic. But when I back up, I remember, the crushingly painful feeling of being in an ultimate crisis – asking myself, “what on EARTH is happening to my LIFE?” That is how I felt when I started writing for Stratejoy. That was rock-bottom-QLC stuff right there.

But through my weekly posts here, I have been open and accountable with my dreams, my goals, my intentions, my inspirations as well as my fears and doubts. Writing each of my posts was amazing therapy in itself, because I was diving into my QLC head-on, confronting myself, and through it all, I had the amazing Stratejoy community to share and interact with.

I’m a long way from having a clue about my life. And despite all my 5 year plans and life-plotting, I’m sure I’ll still be questioning life then too. But maybe that’s it…

…The greatest lesson of all: The only thing that I know, is that I don’t know anything.

No matter how much we plan, things will go differently. No matter what expectations for the future live in our minds, remember, they are expectations and whatever comes won’t be exactly so. It’s the beauty of life, that we’re not privy to the future. The surprises, those twists and turns that brought you to this page, right now, reading these worlds, they are what make life beautiful.

I hope that every single one of you can overcome the stress of your QLC, and come out of it a better, stronger, more vibrant woman. Remember – it’s hard to face it, that you aren’t satisfied with your life – but when you do, do it with guts and celebrate the fact that you’re making change in your life. Big, amazing, awesome things are in your future. I just know it!

I have several quotes that I have been living by lately, so I’ll leave you with them:

And That’s All!

I’m so grateful to everyone here for writing, for reading, for commenting, for being here. I’m excited to hear what our Season IV bloggers have in store for us in the next six months!

My internet is sketchy for a while because the only time I get a connection is when my boat pulls into a harbor. Since I’m sailing from the Bahamas down to Mexico over the next month, harbors will be scarce. I do attempt to maintain a travel-ish blog, if you’re into that kinda thing.

Thank you for being here. So much. xoxo!

[Note from the Coach: You know what I love about your journey, Linds?  That you don't have everything (anything!) figured out quite yet- but instead of moping at home- you went out there and made one of your BIG LIFE DREAMS happen!  I mean, seriously, you wrote that you wanted to sail around the world, and then.... What?  3 months later?  You're hooping on beaches in the Bahamas.  And while some might call you crazy- I think you're absolutely stunning in your bravery.  Keep following that playful heart, my dear, and I promise life will sort itself out.

Thank you for sharing all the craziness that has been your reality with us.  I know there are tons of Tribe sisters who are not only living vicariously through your adventures, but also, and more importantly- embarking on their own adventure.  Because if you can do it, why can't we?   And that?  That is what true inspiration means.  Thank you, thank for being here with your gorgeous and wise words.  Let's play again soon, sweetness.   XOXO, Molly]

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What I’ve Learned

posted 29th January 2011    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: Creativity, Inspiration, Life Lesson, Renee, Season 3

I’ve been Stratejoying for six months. Six whole months. Can you believe it?

If you had told me two years ago that I would be writing for a Quarterlife Crisis blog while starting my first semester of grad school, I would have thought you were nuts. Or at least talking about someone else. Quarterlife crisis? Not me. Of course not. I had my ducks in a row.

We all know that having your ducks in a row does not make a blueprint for life. Stratejoy taught me that. And more importantly, it taught me that that is okay… encouraged, even.

My time as a Stratejoy blogger gave me the courage to write my truth and the confidence to live my truth. In the last six months, I have felt more fulfilled, more authentic, and more Renee than I have ever been. I’ve discovered things about myself that I wouldn’t have had the guts to do without my amazing Stratejoy and blogging community behind me, encouraging me every step of the way.

I’ve become more honest in my writing but that has translated into my public and private spheres as well. I’ve learned to quell the complaining. I’ve learned to enjoy the moment. I’ve learned to appreciate every day and every opportunity that has come my way.

To all of you who have followed along, who have read my posts, who have contributed to discussions, and who have followed me to my personal blog and Twitter- I thank you. I thank you for being ears when I needed them, but most importantly, for validating my story. That’s the most important thing a supportive community can do. I came to you, spilled my guts, shared my dreams and fears, and you validated my story. It’s truly inspiring. Please keep in touch.

To my fellow Season 3 Bloggers- You’re all an inspiration. From you all, I’ve learned what it means to be a strong, authentic, struggling woman. I’ve learned from you how to own it and how to own up to it. Alisha, you inspire me to always keep looking for myself. Doni, you inspire me to share the details of my life. Nikki, you inspire me to make my dreams reality. Lindsey, you inspire me to never give up on my life list. Marian, you inspire me to believe in myself. And Molly…. you just inspire me. I’m so grateful to call these women my friends.

Adios, Stratejoy. It’s been real.

[Note from the Coach:  Renee.  Damn girl- you know I love you.  :) Remember when we met in Chicago and it was like, what? I haven't met you before?  Some part of me has always just recognized some part of you.  From feminist literature, to performing, to speaking your mind regardless of the consequences- it's true love...  And I'm so honored and thrilled and really sincerely happy that you were part of Stratejoy these last 6 months.

Thank you for carrying off this commitment and community, while rocking things in your own world.  Your writing is gorgeous, but better yet, so are you.  And your journey?  Amazing.  I truly admire how you own up to what's working, what's not, and then do something about it with grace and courage.  You're an inspiration.  Don't be a stranger, okay?  Huge freakin' love,  Molly]

{Photo Credit: Erin Parker Photography}

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The End

posted 28th January 2011    Written by: Alisha    CATEGORY: Alisha, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, What I've Learned

Really?  This is it?  This is my last post for Stratejoy?  I think I might cry.

These past six months have been incredible–life changing, actually.  I am so grateful for the amazing women I have connected with during my time here.  Doni, Marian, Renee, Nikki, and Lindsey are going places, and I couldn’t be more thrilled to have been a witness to their journey.  I am grateful for Molly and the work that she does.  She’s the real deal y’all.  The older sister I wish I had: authentic, warm, uplifting and now one of my most favorite people on Earth.  If it weren’t for her, Stratejoy, my trusty old Joy Plan, and these ladies, I am quite certain the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 would not have rocked so hard.

I learned so much about myself.  Thanks to the Joy Equation, I feel empowered.  I finally figured out what it is that I truly value in life.  I reached limits and set boundaries.  I learned (am still learning) that it’s okay to not be perfect and that my imperfections are actually what make me beautiful.  I found comfort in solidarity.  And I’ve said this before, but for someone who lives with depression, one of the most important aides in my healing is knowing that I am not alone.  Now, I am stronger.  I know that this quarterlife crisis is manageable.  I will live through it.  I am living through it.  You will live through it.

I have been able to share with you stories that I’ve never even told my best of friends.  (Amazing how the internet can help you open up and expand, isn’t it?)  And because of that my soul is lighter.  My very first post, which is probably my favorite, was a painful story that I had been trying to tell for years.  I had no idea how much that story dragged me down–kept me stuck–until I told it.  Thankfully, your kind words help me heal and move on.

So to the ladies of Season 4, I wish you much luck.  (Though with Molly and the other wonderful women you will meet through Stratejoy, you’ll be just fine.)  If I can offer any advice to you it would be to always be open and honest.  Never be afraid or embarrassed to share your stories.  Chances are there are others out there who will read it, and like me, breathe a sigh relief knowing that they aren’t the only ones.

But most importantly, have fun; connect with one another; connect with the Stratejoy community; make new friends; and enjoy the ride.

Thank you all for standing beside me, loving me, encouraging me, and inspiring me on this journey.  Until next time. . . .

[Note from the coach: You, gorgeous soul, you.  You don't even know how much I admire you- a young woman with a family who hasn't forgotten that she needs to fill herself up first- in order to be present, giving, and compassionate for those she loves.  I know it's not always easy and I know you feel like you've got so many more things you want to accomplish, create, be....  Believe me when I say this, Alisha, you are enough as you are.  And with that fierce self love that you've discovered, the extra sparkly bits will find their way in.

Thank you, thank you for being real.  I know all of us have appreciated your willingness to dive into the dark (and the light!) and to share it with us through such lovely, heart felt writing.  I appreciate you.  And adore you.  And cannot wait until we meet in person so I can cover you (and your kidlets) in kisses.  All the good in the world, with love,  Molly]

(photo credit)

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Welcome to the Quarterlife

posted 27th January 2011    Written by: Marian    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Job/Career/Work, Life Lesson, Marian, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, What I've Learned

Regardless of the fact that I make my living on the internet (or maybe because I do), I’ve always been hesitant about sharing my life online. Sure, I do the obligatory Facebook albums and try to “be myself” by swearing up a storm, but I have never ever ever actually shared my Big Bad Fears with complete strangers.

And then Stratejoy came along. Looking back, I definitely started tentatively. I was so used to blogging to help people, to teach things, to build up My Brand. And that’s when something funny happened… I slowly (s-l-o-w-l-y) started opening up. Sharing things I didn’t particularly want to share. Being more honest with myself – and with you – than I’ve ever been. And you guys were awesome. Like, I knew the Stratejoy community was absurdly cool, but this cool? Nuh-uh.

Every time I admitted a dirty secret or talked about my life and where it’s headed in a way that wasn’t comfortable, you guys shared your stories, cheered me on and pretty much blew me away with all  the support.

And here’s what I learned in the six months here: We are sooo all in this together.

How many of us know 20-30somethings who really and truly know their path? That aren’t riddled with guilt or anxiety about choosing one “life option” over another?

Maybe it’s because I’m surrounded with people similar to myself, but because of Stratejoy, I see it everywhere now: People just want to be happy. Authentically. We hunt for that perfect job because we want to be passionate. We get married and have babies because we think these things will fulfill us. Not that they don’t, I can’t wait to have some crazy kids running around the joint, but my point is that this entire Life thing is this amazing shared experience and the whole, what-the-hell-do-I-do-with-it is even more shared.

Boyfriend Sam and I go around in circles having the same conversations: What should I do with my life? Should I study? Should I get a real job? Should we travel? Should we settle? Knowing that this older, more mature, more experienced guy was going through the same things as me has been a huge weight off my shoulders. We could be 28 or 88 and it wouldn’t make a damn difference.

Knowing that the women (and men) who read this site feel just as lost, but also just as passionate about the journey, is one of the most uplifting and comforting experiences of my professional life.

You guys are wonderful. This site is wonderful.

But six months after starting, it’s suddenly over. I have no freaking idea how that happened. I have no clue how six months of my life just flew by.

Granted, the past six months have been a bit of a whirlwind. Last April I was single and living with my parents in Connecticut. Now it’s summer in New Zealand (in January) and I’m living with the love of my life on a completely new adventure.

I’m also completely in the middle of my quarterlife crisis. Six months ago I really didn’t understand what that meant. Now I still may have no idea what I’m doing, but there are two HUGE things I’ve learned about dealing the QLC:

  1. Do something. You don’t have to know what The Big Life Plan is, but taking one little step at a time is perfectly okay. Just make a decision. Today. Do something. Go somewhere.
  2. You are not alone. Really, you’re not. That girl you graduated with who seems crazy successful or that relative who’s super passionate about x,  y or z? They’re probably just as confused and wound up as you are. And at the end of the day? You have this amazing community to fall back on.

These six months may be over, but you can be sure I’ll be sticking around.

[Note from the Coach: Marian, you are a force to be reckoned with and I mean that in the very best way possible.... I absolutely adored having you share a slice of the real Marian without worrying about teaching or clients or the uberforces of Social Media judging you.  We got YOU.  And I am so, so grateful for that.  I always forget that you're 23 because of your wisdom, your ability to push convention, and the gorgeous faith you have that things will work out.

Thank you, gorgeous girl, for being here.  For showing up on the good days and bad.  For sharing fancy Italian veggies and prosecco with me and introducing me to your beau on the streets of NYC.  For being such a pr0Stratejoy force and  making me feel like we're doing something right over here.  I'm such a fan of you and seriously can't wait to see where your journey leads.  Wherever that may be!  Kisses to you and mutual wise laughter at all the assholes in the world.   Love, Molly]

[photo credit:  sakanami]

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