Just a Quarter of My Awesome Life

posted 12th January 2011    Written by: Nikki    CATEGORY: All Posts, Events, Inspiration, Life Lesson, Nikki, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, What I've Learned

I have a really good friend who went through a typical Quarter Life Crisis and yet still maintains the QLC doesn’t exist.  He was in grad school for and making money in his chosen profession when he realized it just wasn’t for him, quit school, quit his job, moved across the country and started over.  He’s now a professional musician and lives one of the most enviable, inspiring lives of anyone I know.

I remember when he was going through his QLC, partially because I was on the cusp of my own.  We used to call each other, frustrated and unsure, comparing the messes of our love lives, the unfulfillment of our career lives, and the fears that were plauging us.  We bonded over a shared ickiness.  Classic QLC, right?

The difference between him and most people I know who’ve gone through a QLC (including myself) is that he refuses to call it a crisis.  Even when he felt icky and frustrated and was not making enough money to live on, he saw his life as an adventure and this unknown stage of it as just one somewhat frightening, giant decision between many thrilling options.

To quote him (thanks, Facebook!):

We have this amazing opportunity (unlike previous generations) to do whatever we want with our lives but we tend to spend so much time and energy talking about how hard it is and getting angsty because we “don’t know what to do with our lives.”  …These are opportunities! Amazing, wonderful opportunities!  …I wish more people our age perceived it in such a manner.

Wise words, no?  It makes me want to take action, any action, try and fail and try again.  It’s all ok.  It’s all part of really living life.  So inspiring!

I get it, though, we all know logically that this is a time of exciting possibilities, but it’s hard to keep that in mind in the middle of it, while it feels like the life you know is crumbling around you and everyone you look up to is looking down on you disapprovingly.

We have so many more options and comforts and safety nets than the generations before us, and the freedom they give us is both exhilarating and overwhelming.  But add to that the fact that we’re bucking the norm in a society that has always expected people our age to put our nose to the grindstone, get a job, start a family, stop “goofing off” and grow up already, makes it a lot harder to see that freedom as a good thing.  We’re swimming against the current, and that can be exhausting.

I think that’s really where the “crisis” comes in.  It’s a crisis of understanding and communication.  It’s the difference between generations, and it’s always existed, ever since the first teenager argued with the first parent.  With each generation we’re evolving as a race, and we have the luxury to find our happiness, which our grandparents, and parents, didn’t have to the same extent.

It can be difficult feeling like you’re not living up to expectations, you’re letting the people you respect down, you’re “behind” on the timeline of normal life.  It can be frightening feeling like you have no role models and you’re forging your own path through the uncharted wilderness of creating the life you want, a life you’re scared to think is even possible.  I used to feel that way ALL. THE. TIME.  …until Stratejoy.

You ladies are my role models.  Molly especially.  All my fellow writers and all the commenters and all the blogs I’ve found of women making it happen on their own terms show me that I may be forging my own path, but I’m doing it right alongside other amazing people, and it’s not so scary.

It’s time for a paradigm shift.  Forget what other people think, forget societal “norms” (we’re changing them this very minute anyway!), forget what you thought you wanted or where you thought you’d be; take stock of the incredible freedom you have right now, and all the opportunities you can take advantage of in your life.  This is no crisis!!  This is the BEST THING EVER!!

So I’m with Lindsey, I think we need to come up with a new name for the QLC.  Quarter Life Celebration, Quarter Life Exploration, Quarter Life Speedbump, Quarter Life Fuck Yeah!

What do y’all think?

Meanwhile, I’m going to follow the example of my inspiring friend and take action.  I’m just gonna go for it and drink up what life has to offer, say yes to all opportunities, and find exuberant joy in the unknown.  Life isn’t a race to the finish line of “adult benchmark goals,” life is meant to be explored and enjoyed.  This time of my life is amazing, not a crisis.  And if I make a few mistakes, well, that still won’t make it a crisis.

We’re strong, we’re smart, we’re free, we’re young — let’s do this shit.

[photo credit]

Bookmark and Share
Comments (22)

22 Responses to “Just a Quarter of My Awesome Life”

  • Big L Says:
    January 12th, 2011 at 8:41 am

    Holy shit! This is quite possibly my favourite post in a long time – definitely one of your personal bests! I love it! It resonates, touches on the things so many people are thinking and feeling and best of all, it's about embracing and taking action, two things I love!

    I must say, I do have to chuckle at those who go through classic QLCs while pretending like it's something else all along. They'd probably feel a lot more supported if they accepted the fact that the questions they're asking themselves, so many of us are, too. They all manifest in different ways, but the starting point of uncertainty and questioning every assumption you've ever had? That's definitely the same!

  • Wee C Says:
    January 12th, 2011 at 9:05 am

    Oh, boy, do I ever agree with you, lady. Actually, I chuckled when I read your post, because I had a pretty similar rant not that long ago. Great minds, as they say :) . Here's my eerily shared view: http://comfortablyuncomfortable.wordpress.com/201…

  • aftertherace Says:
    January 12th, 2011 at 10:16 am

    Amen to all of that! Thank you for such a thought-provoking and inspiring post!

  • Natalie Says:
    January 12th, 2011 at 10:20 am

    This post is JUST what I needed this morning! I'm often overwhelmed by choices and forget that having choices is a GOOD thing.

    "…take stock of the incredible freedom you have right now, and all the opportunities you can take advantage of in your life." That's it, exactly. I'm exploring it in my next blog post..

  • streetlightpeople12 Says:
    January 12th, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    Nikki, thank you for this post! I agree with Big L, this was one of the best posts I've read in awhile. And it was just the perfect thing for me to read. Lately I've been feeling the 'crisis' stuff big time, and it helps so much to try to reframe it and look at it as opportunity, or, as you say, THE BEST THING EVER. I love it. :)

  • Lindsey Says:
    January 12th, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    Ummm, YES. And the best part? It's only gonna get better. We're only getting smarter, wiser, kinder, better every single day we choose to live like this. LOVE.

  • Janet W Says:
    January 12th, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    Loved that post! Forward thinking — not a trace of whinge or why me. Just go West (metaphorically) young man or woman! Hope the Chief Joy Strategist has y'all back for a visit like the Housewife Reunion shows (OK, perhaps not quite like those). Good luck and bonne chance in all that you do … Janet

  • Alisha Says:
    January 12th, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    The power of words. You're right–your friend is right–why does it have to be a "crisis?"

    Love the last line. Yes, let's do this.

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    January 12th, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    I'm with all these killer commenters- ROCKIN' FREAKIN' POST NIKKI!!! (Printing, Bookmarking, Loving it up) This is really, really spot on with exactly how I feel and I LOVE that. You are Stratejoy! You are my hero!

    "We’re strong, we’re smart, we’re free, we’re young — let’s do this shit." Hellz to the yeah.

  • Ali Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    Don't know HOW you do it but you manage to nail it. Every. Single. TIME.

    Bravo (as always)!

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    Thank you sooooo much! I agree, there's no use fighting it; when you're going through the QLC, the best thing for it is to accept it & seek out other people in the same place! But maybe if we change the way we look at & talk about it, it'll be easier to do that. :)

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    LOVE it. You're right – the "crisis" is just a bunch of melodrama! Not to say the feelings of fear & doubt in the face of overwhelming choices are not valid – they SO are – but that we need to seriously re-frame the way we look at it. Thanks for writing a post that kiiiinda kicks all our asses. :)

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    YAY for being inspired!!

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Awesome!!! Send me the link; I'd love to read your post!

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Thank you! Sometimes all we really need is a change of perspective… you totally have the power to MAKE it the best thing ever!!!

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    You are ABSOLUTELY right. xoxoxo

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    Ooooooh I would LOVE a reunion show!!! :) Thanks, Janet, for the kind words!

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    LET'S!!!! xo

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    Well, then let's agree to be mutual heros, hero! Hellz to the yeah. xo

  • nikki_klecha Says:
    January 13th, 2011 at 4:05 pm

    Thank you darlin!!

  • Janah Says:
    April 12th, 2011 at 2:10 am

    Nikki are we twins from a past life? I just quit my crazy LA life and ran for Australia (and Japan), and plan on moving across the country when I return. What kind of crazy QLC mirrored image is this?! I loved this posting and I am all for celebrating this amazing time in our lives. When else are we going to have this exciting uncertainty that is only helping us towards seeing the bigger picture? Your friend is right, this is no crisis, this is means for celebrating. Rock on :)

  • Katie Says:
    October 3rd, 2011 at 11:58 am

    I love the perspective of your friend! It's true, we need to view this time in our lives as one filled with limitless potential and opportunity. Thank you (and him) for your words of inspiration!

Leave a Reply

name*


email* (will not be published)


website


comments