Welcome to the Quarterlife

posted 27th January 2011    Written by: Marian    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Job/Career/Work, Life Lesson, Marian, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, What I've Learned

Regardless of the fact that I make my living on the internet (or maybe because I do), I’ve always been hesitant about sharing my life online. Sure, I do the obligatory Facebook albums and try to “be myself” by swearing up a storm, but I have never ever ever actually shared my Big Bad Fears with complete strangers.

And then Stratejoy came along. Looking back, I definitely started tentatively. I was so used to blogging to help people, to teach things, to build up My Brand. And that’s when something funny happened… I slowly (s-l-o-w-l-y) started opening up. Sharing things I didn’t particularly want to share. Being more honest with myself – and with you – than I’ve ever been. And you guys were awesome. Like, I knew the Stratejoy community was absurdly cool, but this cool? Nuh-uh.

Every time I admitted a dirty secret or talked about my life and where it’s headed in a way that wasn’t comfortable, you guys shared your stories, cheered me on and pretty much blew me away with all  the support.

And here’s what I learned in the six months here: We are sooo all in this together.

How many of us know 20-30somethings who really and truly know their path? That aren’t riddled with guilt or anxiety about choosing one “life option” over another?

Maybe it’s because I’m surrounded with people similar to myself, but because of Stratejoy, I see it everywhere now: People just want to be happy. Authentically. We hunt for that perfect job because we want to be passionate. We get married and have babies because we think these things will fulfill us. Not that they don’t, I can’t wait to have some crazy kids running around the joint, but my point is that this entire Life thing is this amazing shared experience and the whole, what-the-hell-do-I-do-with-it is even more shared.

Boyfriend Sam and I go around in circles having the same conversations: What should I do with my life? Should I study? Should I get a real job? Should we travel? Should we settle? Knowing that this older, more mature, more experienced guy was going through the same things as me has been a huge weight off my shoulders. We could be 28 or 88 and it wouldn’t make a damn difference.

Knowing that the women (and men) who read this site feel just as lost, but also just as passionate about the journey, is one of the most uplifting and comforting experiences of my professional life.

You guys are wonderful. This site is wonderful.

But six months after starting, it’s suddenly over. I have no freaking idea how that happened. I have no clue how six months of my life just flew by.

Granted, the past six months have been a bit of a whirlwind. Last April I was single and living with my parents in Connecticut. Now it’s summer in New Zealand (in January) and I’m living with the love of my life on a completely new adventure.

I’m also completely in the middle of my quarterlife crisis. Six months ago I really didn’t understand what that meant. Now I still may have no idea what I’m doing, but there are two HUGE things I’ve learned about dealing the QLC:

  1. Do something. You don’t have to know what The Big Life Plan is, but taking one little step at a time is perfectly okay. Just make a decision. Today. Do something. Go somewhere.
  2. You are not alone. Really, you’re not. That girl you graduated with who seems crazy successful or that relative who’s super passionate about x,  y or z? They’re probably just as confused and wound up as you are. And at the end of the day? You have this amazing community to fall back on.

These six months may be over, but you can be sure I’ll be sticking around.

[Note from the Coach: Marian, you are a force to be reckoned with and I mean that in the very best way possible.... I absolutely adored having you share a slice of the real Marian without worrying about teaching or clients or the uberforces of Social Media judging you.  We got YOU.  And I am so, so grateful for that.  I always forget that you're 23 because of your wisdom, your ability to push convention, and the gorgeous faith you have that things will work out.

Thank you, gorgeous girl, for being here.  For showing up on the good days and bad.  For sharing fancy Italian veggies and prosecco with me and introducing me to your beau on the streets of NYC.  For being such a pr0Stratejoy force and  making me feel like we're doing something right over here.  I'm such a fan of you and seriously can't wait to see where your journey leads.  Wherever that may be!  Kisses to you and mutual wise laughter at all the assholes in the world.   Love, Molly]

[photo credit:  sakanami]

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Comments (14)

14 Responses to “Welcome to the Quarterlife”

  • amandafarough Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 10:58 am

    Oh hell yes, baby. You nailed it. Bravo. <3

  • deebuzzing Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 11:01 am

    *Do Something*- so simple, so important. Sad to see you go!

  • Alisha Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 11:54 am

    I knew only a very little bit about your online biz before Stratejoy started and it's been so nice to see this side of you. I agree with Molly: your wisdom and candor and surpass those of any other 23 year old I've ever known. It's been really awesome getting to know you.

  • Juliana Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    love love love. you're headed for great things.

  • marianschembari Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    Me too! Can we make it a liiiiitle longer?!

  • marianschembari Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    Aww, thanks lady. Can't wait to watch YOU kick some ass now :)

  • marianschembari Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    I'm so, so glad. And also flattered. I've loved sharing this space with you, Alisha. Love love LOVED.

  • eemusings Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    "It's okay to not know."

    If nothing else, that is the most important thing I've learned on Stratejoy. And more and more, that's something I need to hold on to.

  • Renee Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    I sorta want to stand up and scream HOLLLLLERRRRRRRR right now. I guess that's my suburban white girl way of telling you I steadfastly approve of everything here.

  • Doniree Says:
    January 28th, 2011 at 1:02 am

    We ARE all in this together, and I am delighted to have been 'in this' with you this past six months. Can not WAIT to see what comes next :) xoxo.

  • Big L Says:
    January 28th, 2011 at 4:05 am

    I agree! It was one of the most important take aways of the whole post. Even if you do the wrong thing, or you want to change course later, or you make a mistake, moving is better than standing still. Love it! I'll miss you Marian!

  • aftertherace Says:
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:53 am

    Awesome post! And I feel the same way: It's so comforting to know that there are people out there who are in the same boat as me. It's even more awesome to know that those people make up such an amazing blogging community AKA Stratejoy. :)

  • Lindsey Says:
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    I love what you said about the comparison game – I fall into that trap lots, but then I realize that I AM doing something, and I am most definitely not alone. Thank you for opening up, your wisdom is so lovely, honest and true :)
    New Zealand is always on my "to snowboard" lists so when I head south, I will look you up.

  • Katie [blogs] Says:
    January 30th, 2011 at 8:40 am

    Can I just say I love you, and leave it at that? Because I do. I love everything about you, your writing style, your honesty, your raw emotion, your professional life.

    I just love it. I've loved our little mini e-mail exchanges over the months and you're one of those people who I know I'll reach out to often. Even if it's just to bitch about something that sucks during the day.

    Because sometimes, clients can be asshats. You know it.

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