Butterflies, Flowers, and Bold New Things

posted 24th February 2011    Written by: Bri    CATEGORY: All Posts, Bri, Love/Relationships
Girls… I, uh ….met a boy.
Oh, the difference a week makes.

Last week was The Loneliness… this week it is butterflies and boldness.  A whirlwind story lifted out of some sort of movie; the kind of movie that makes people roll their eyes from the sappy-romantic-mess.

It feels like a story that’s been told before: boy and girl meet and months go by until one night something clicks.  Sparks that light a would-be-normal-night on fire.  Cue the montage of flowers, kisses, cuddles, and declarations of “intense feelings”.

Suddenly, I find myself 48 hours into this; dizzy and out of breath.  It’s too early to tell you much, but in the spirit of Stratejoy and sharing my story with you all–

I am going to tell you that I am smitten.  Hardcore smitten.

I used to think that falling for someone required an abandonment of self to make the jump.  I’ve been known to jump too soon into things, recklessly leaping without making sure the other person is with me.  The result is times when I am IN IT,  looking up at the person I just jumped for, as they fumble around at the top refusing to jump for me.  Not ideal.

This feels entirely different.  This weekend is teaching me what bold is supposed to feel like in the beginning of a relationship that  has the potential to be life changing.  Bold doesn’t mean reckless.  Instead, I’m figuring out that boldness is taking intentional steps toward something that is simultaneously exhilarating and frightening.

I am fighting the urge to spend every minute of my day with him AND fighting the urge to run hard and fast in the other direction.  I am NOT running though.  Boldness is letting someone new enter your world, but slowly and thoughtfully.  Letting them in when it’s right not because I am forcing intimacy.

Everyone carries stories and baggage with them and feeling like I want him to know all of it, when the time is right, FEELS braver than I’ve ever felt.

So, that’s where I am.  Smitten, unable to think of anything else.  Baby-stepping into something feels HUGE and SCARY but also ELECTRIC and EASY. Things can change in an instant.  Wow.

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Comments (27)

27 Responses to “Butterflies, Flowers, and Bold New Things”

  • Nora Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:29 am

    This part? "The result is time when I am IN IT, looking up at the person I just jumped for, as they fumble around at the top refusing to jump for me. Not ideal." I have SO been there. More times than I care to admit. When you can both jump at the same time, no questions asked… well maybe that's when it's 100% right? It's an amazing feeling. Love hearing about the baby steps and life of boldness you're living my dear. It totally suits you in case you weren't sure.

  • amandafarough Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:31 am

    Boldness is all about stepping outside of yourself and feeling the big feelings. Lady, I'm supremely happy for you and can't wait to hear more!

    "Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, And don't put up with people that are reckless with yours." – Kurt Vonnegut

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:32 am

    Word. I KNOW we've both been there. I'm glad things are different for BOTH of us. I love you lady.

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:33 am

    Ahhh! Thanks!!!!! It's kind of funny to read this 2.5 weeks after I wrote it. UPDATE: The big feelings have only gotten bigger. :)

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 10:23 am

    I am so happy to hear those big feelings are only growing. That is exactly how it was when I met my other half. I was completely terrified of what I was feeling, but I knew that this person was the best person I could have found. Go for it. Love is really, truly worth it.

  • Jen Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 11:11 am

    Yay! Good for you! This sounds like such a huge, brave step you are taking, and I think you are on the right path. Take baby steps, be happy, and congrats! :)

  • Kate Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    WOW. So incredibly excited for you, Bri! Amazing how quickly things can change, eh?! I want to know all of the deets!

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    Terrifying FOR SURE. Simultaneously the easiest thing I've ever done. Crazy.

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    Can we define "baby steps"? :)

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    Seriously. Mr. A (The new guy) read The Loneliness post the night everything started, and called my The Loneliness for days. :)

  • Dee Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    AUGHHHHHHHHHHH! Here I was thinking we were all soulmates and stuff, but it's still just me and the beagle kickin it in lonelytown. Grrrr. And me still dating myself (but it's fun, I SWEAR).

    JK! Big happy for you. And him. That lucky duck.

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    OH NO! We can be soulmates still!!! Trust me, it came out of no where.

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Ooooh, I feel so, so lucky that you and I have a wine date tonight so I get DETAILS! Electric details!

  • pixie658 Says:
    February 24th, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    Excited for you! :D

  • Juliana Says:
    February 25th, 2011 at 7:33 am

    When I re-met my husband (we had gone to HS together) I really, really, REALLY did not want to be dating anyone. I thought I would be running in the other direction, too, but I didn't. It worked out pretty well.

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 25th, 2011 at 8:56 am

    The look on Jenny's face when she learned I am no longer in "The Loneliness' was priceless. LOVED our wine date last night. So much.

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 25th, 2011 at 8:57 am

    THANK YOU!

  • mininggarnet Says:
    February 25th, 2011 at 9:16 am

    This is SO exciting! Timing is such a funny thing, isn't it? Hope it only gets even better : )

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 25th, 2011 at 9:46 am

    It HAS been completely blowing my mind every single day.

  • Big L Says:
    February 25th, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    The timing is impeccable! ;) Now you have the biggest group of girlfriends ever to giggle with! Such fun!!

  • Cait Says:
    February 25th, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    It is absolutely crazy how the timing of these things can be so unexpected. You seem to be happy and in a really good place about the whole thing, which is awesome.

  • Gina Says:
    February 27th, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    I’m so giddy for you! And also a little jealous. I want to be smitten, twitterpatted, SOMETHING! ;)

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 28th, 2011 at 10:10 am

    Seriously impeccable, and kind of hilarious.

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 28th, 2011 at 10:10 am

    Thanks Cait! I'm definitely insanely happy and it FEELS perfect. So, yes. We're going to keep going with it.

  • Katie [blogs] Says:
    February 28th, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    Ah, H4T, because I have my own nickname for him, he sure has lifted your spirits exactly when you needed them lifted. Part of me wants to say "You don't need no mans for 'dat yo!" – the other part, the part that adores you says "Love yourself, and others will love you too…" and clearly, that's the truth.

    Keep on living that awesome life, and tell Hottie Hotterson I said hello.

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    March 1st, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Hahahaha, I will tell him you said hello. :)

  • Kahea Says:
    March 2nd, 2011 at 11:56 am

    I'm smiling and can't stop. I've never even met you and know you only through your blog and this blog, but I can't help but just smile in happiness for you!!! (And this just makes it so obvious how amazing this whole Tribe is that we can connect and support and be giddy for one another like this)

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