10 Ways to Get Your Act Together

posted 7th February 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Molly, Tips & Tools, What I've Learned

One of the things I see in a lot of you is this burning desire to live a life of passion and excitement and abundance.  A life full of doing good, meaningful work.  On your terms!  With travel!  And hot sex!  And an unlimited supply of chocolate that doesn’t go straight to your ass!

I mean, seriously, I want that too.  I want to wake up every morning loving my life. I want to be free of doubt, anxiety, and the familiar feeling that somehow, somewhere I’m failing at something.  I want to throw caution to the wind and pound some bongo drums and write a NY Times Bestseller.

You know?

The thrilling part of seeking that passion in your own life is that it serves up sexy questions:  What is your mission in life?  How do you want to feel everyday? What does your big audacious dream like look like?  What would you do with a million dollars?  Who do you want to serve?  How do you want to change the world?

It’s the big vision orgasm. It’s vision boards and manifesting and creating your art (whatever your art may be) because to hold it inside physically pains you.  It’s Skype talks with online friends/acquaintances to hammer out new projects and participate in lovefests. It’s knowing that you’ll be the next Oprah, Richard Branson, Hillary Clinton, Amy Adams, Lady Gaga…

It’s the utter faith in your purpose.

And I love all of that.  Hell, I coach around most of it.  I definitely participate in those lovefests.  And drinking wine and writing and jamming to visions of my forthcoming empire?  Adore.

But…

Ahem, ahem… Creating that life of passion and happiness can be decidedly un-sexy at times.

You know all those cliches about getting your act together and your ducks in a row?  Yup.  That’s what I’m talking about.  We need to build the strong base in order to jump off the cliff.  We need to put the work into saving, and disciplining, and de-cluttering in order to make time, space, and funding for our dream lives to blossom.

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed (or underwhelmed, as the case may be) with your passion seeking– take a break from forcing the epiphanies. From burning the candle at both ends. From craving passion in every moment.

Give yourself time to just take care of stuff that has nothing to do with your big dreams.

I promise you- by taking time to get your act together- you’ll have this lovely white space to play within. You’ll be less anxious.  You’ll feel accomplished.   Your confidence will skyrocket.

You can get back to passion and art and world domination with renewed energy.

10 Ways to Get Your Act Together

MONEY: Read Ramit Sethi’s I Will Teach You to be Rich.  Follow his 6 week program “No Guilt.  No Excuses.  No B.S.”   Your money and your financial peace of mind will thank you.  This is a great program to tackle with a friend.  Practice talking about money and hold each other accountable for the tasks.  Highly recommended!  

HEALTH: Just make one dietary change and stick with it for a month.   Drink more water.  Eliminate fake sugar.  Try being a vegetarian.  Give up alcohol.  What scares you the most?  Try that.

RELATIONSHIPS: Take a moment to make lists for each of the following questions.  Dedicate one day for the next 3 weeks to doing what needs to be done to emerge from this emotional clutter.

SPACE: Have you purged lately?  Donated extra canned goods or clothing or that old lap top?  What about your creative space?  Do you even have one?  Don’t just keep rearranging the mess- get rid of things.  Even if you just tackle one place (bedside table? car?), you’ll feel the difference.

PARENTS: Do you parents know how you feel about your life?  Can you share with them?  Do you feel safe asking for support?  We all have such different relationships with our parental units, but if they are still in the picture- this is a relationship worth working on. Have a big, brave conversation with them.

SEX: If you’re a 20something girl who has never owned a vibrator/dildo, go buy one.  You can even get one online!  Use it.  (Oh, and if you’re in a relationship with a guy and have never used a vibrating cock ring… Big fan.)  If you’re already all cool with the toys, try reading What’s Up Down There?

WORK: Ask for a informal review from your supervisor to see what’s working and what you can approve on.  Share a big idea you have and take ownership for making it happen.  Be the change you’d like to see in your workplace. Also, stop gossiping at work.  Seriously.

TRAVEL: Pick a dream vacation.  Determine cost.  If you want to go next October, how much do you need to save each month from now til then to make it happen?  Start a separate savings account specifically for this goal.  Automate a transfer from your checking account.  Set date on your calendar to book the trip.  I know, I know- it’s boring, but ultimately practical.  If you save for it, it will happen.  And you won’t go into debt for last minute excursions to tropical islands!

LOVE: Have the conversation that needs to happen.

SPIRITUALITY: Pick one — daily prayer, daily meditation, daily walk outside, daily gratitude list– and practice.  5 minutes counts, as long as you’re focusing on something greater than yourself.  Treat this practice with devotion.  Light a candle, create a special chair/pillow combination, buy yourself a spiritual text to study.  Make it special.

So, lovelies, what do you think?  What are you going to tackle this week?   I want to hear it!

photo credit : superamit

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Comments (22)

22 Responses to “10 Ways to Get Your Act Together”

  • suki Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    I'm going to be doing a lot of those. Just ordered Ramit's book. I've been thinking about it for a long time, but just never got around to it. Hopefully I learn a lot from it.

  • Natasha Hollerup Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    This post was really awesome. A lot of this I had learned late last year, but I definitely need the sex toy. I've never had one and my husband had mentioned that I should have one, but I never did get one.

  • Tweets that mention 10 Ways to Get Your Act Together | Stratejoy | Conquer Your Quarterlife Crisis through Fresh Strategies for Real Joy -- Topsy.com Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Molly Hoyne Mahar, Molly Hoyne Mahar, Marcelina McGinnis, Alisha Sommer, rachelwcole and others. rachelwcole said: Brilliance from @stratejoy – "Have the conversation that needs to happen" plus so much more. Check it out: http://bit.ly/fps2WQ [...]

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    It's time!! It's time! And your husband is on board?! Perfect.

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    Tons of my clients/groups have wanted to tackle money and I always recommend his book. I've almost worked my own way through it! Yes. Good for you gorgeous!

  • Kahea Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    When I read that line, "I want to be free of doubt, anxiety, and the familiar feeling that somehow, somewhere Im failing at something," I started tearing up! That's so exactly how I feel and I'm in love with this post for addressing it. I think I'm gonna tackle spirituality (I've been wanting to try meditation)…and maybe sex. ;)

  • Alisha Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    Such a timely post for me. I just decluttered the living room tonight before dinner; all those toys were suffocating me–plus adding an extra 30-45 minutes of cleaning to my day. (That's probably just because I'm OCD like that.) And the money thing–big one. I realized while making my goals for the year that this was a big one. And while the hubby's new job = more time at home and more time with family, it also = a whole lot less in salary. And while I'm (mostly) happy with the trade-off, I can't shake the money fears. (After all, this is the year or living abundantly!) I'm going to go check out that book :) Thank you!!

  • Kate Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    I'm TOTALLY a fan of cock rings!

    TMI? ;)

  • Emily Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    Molly, I think you read my mind – this is so, so the post I needed to read this evening. I love the idea of clearing away life's clutter to make white space for big dreams and that it's important to take a break from passion seeking. Big hugs to you for an awesome (as always!) post!

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    I'm the one who started it…. :) I always give those little "disposable" vibrating ones for presents. Such a good find!!

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    Awh, sweetie, we all feel like that sometimes. Whether we admit it online or not…. I just feel it, acknowledge it, write about it (whether here or in my personal journal) and move on…

    And Yes- go for the meditation. And the sex toy!

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    Sometimes we forget the space that a little break can bring us! I was like a fountain of amazing ideas when I was on my 7 day silent meditation retreat…. But that's hard to do in everyday life. I do find though- by taking care of all those things that are hanging over our heads- we can get some amazing freedom. And that freedom begets amazing movement. Big Hugs right back Emily!

  • amandafarough Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    This. This is what I needed today.

  • kate_morgan Says:
    February 8th, 2011 at 8:28 am

    Ditto! I couldn't fall asleep last night. I was having a mental freak-out that I wasn't making *big* enough changes in my life *fast* enough. Thank you Molly for reminding me that it's okay to be in the process of creating white space, and I love this list. It's totally the stuff that I can and should tackle.

    (And I SERIOUSLY want to recreate that sticky note "to do" art on my wall. Love that.)

  • emmajoan Says:
    February 8th, 2011 at 9:09 am

    I'm working on spirituality! I'm going to ask at least one friend to take me to their church of choice and maybe check out a couple of Universalist Unitarian sermons online? I'm also scared of stepping over the gap between yoga-in-a-studio to yoga-and-meditation-at-home – so I'll be DOING that!

  • aftertherace Says:
    February 8th, 2011 at 9:42 am

    This. Is. FABULOUS. First thing I'm going to tackle is the "Sex" category.

  • Juliana Says:
    February 8th, 2011 at 11:30 am

    This is a supremely wonderful list… every time I've integrated ANY of these practices it has literally changed my life. Thanks for the reminders!!!

  • asummermoon Says:
    February 8th, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    How funny, I just wrote down the areas in my life I wanted to work on for this year and I taped them to my wall. Just about every thing you listed are areas I am presently working on and will continue to work on (always room for improvement)….I've been reading two books by Dave Ramsey called Financial Peace University and Total Money Makeover (while I sip on a latte at Barnes and Noble) I think they are pretty good resources as well

  • Jenny Says:
    February 9th, 2011 at 7:06 am

    "Give yourself time to just take care of stuff that has nothing to do with your big dreams."
    I do need to start taking care of the little day to day things to achieve my bigger goals and dreams. Thank-you so much for making that amazing list and tips to achieve the small little everyday goals. I think it's going to make the bigger ones I have not seem so unattainable. I just have to keep taking it day by day.

  • Courtney Says:
    February 11th, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Any recommendations for meditation apps for iPhone? Either for sleep time or des-stressing/decompressing after work? NEED!

  • *8Things: Soulcare, with a side of funny. | Magpie Girl (Rachelle Mee-Chapman) Says:
    August 11th, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    [...] Need a jump start? Ten ways to get your act together. [...]

  • tiatuenge Says:
    August 13th, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    Hi Molly, it's my first visit and I like what I see. You're rock'n it girl! I'm 40 something so I have the sex thing down pat I'm happy to say:) lol and I am love'n life. I'm definitely ordering Ramit Sethi’s book as soon as I'm done here, thanks for the tip. AND I need to work on the relationship thing. I'm going to meditate on on forgiveness for my ex-husband and my step son's mother. Yes both those areas could use some attention. Love and light to you.

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