No One Told Me Life Would Be This Messy

posted 4th February 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: Job/Career/Work, Katharine, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4, Travel

INTRODUCING KATHARINE:

Just when I thought I had it all, I suddenly had nothing.

I wanted to go to culinary school.  I had a childhood dream of opening up my own Bed & Breakfast near a ski resort in Colorado or Utah, serving up the world’s best pancakes, French toast, and eggs benedict.  Food was my passion and creativity, and growing up I loved to cook.

But when it was time to grow up, I had to make a choice – culinary school and one year in Paris on my own dime, or four years of college on the University of Pittsburgh’s dime.  It was a no-brainer – I went to college.  My mother worked for the University, which meant free tuition, and I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology.

I transplanted myself in Philadelphia in 2005 and had successfully climbed the Legal ladder working at a small, prestigious law firm in Center City.  I co-founded a grassroots nonprofit organization to increase awareness for Human Papillomavirus (HPV) and cervical cancer, making valuable strides in my community to prevent, protect, and educate women on the devastating disease.  I joined a co-ed street hockey league (I never played the sport before), traveled around the country to compete in National tournaments and have won five championships and an MVP trophy.  In five years, I have built a strong foundation for myself through careers in law and nonprofit, sustaining valuable friendships, actively participating in sports leagues, and establishing a freelance writing presence.

Professors and teachers can prepare you academically for the real world, but no one can prepare you for real life – those unexpected moments that either make you or break you.

I had a plan for 2011: re-brand my nonprofit organization, celebrate the purchase of my first house, and start graduate school.  Two weeks before Christmas, my plan suddenly shattered and that foundation I spent years building crumbled beneath me.  Volunteers resigned from my nonprofit organization and my law firm dissolved.  Just when I thought I had it all, I suddenly had nothing.  My nonprofit was failing miserably, I lost my job, and I spiraled into a third bout of depression.

No one prepared me for entrepreneurial failures or a job loss.  No one told me how terrifying it is to watch your plan shatter right in front of you.  No one told me how emotionally draining it is to pick yourself up after all the hardships.  You can’t teach these things, you can only learn from them.

I don’t know what happens next.  I thought at age 25, I had already conquered my quarterlife crisis (more on that next week), but after suffering a devastating job loss and entrepreneurial failures, maybe I’m right in the thick of it.  I thought I wanted the Corporate 9-5 lifestyle, but after spending nearly a decade in the legal field, I realize it’s just not me.  I want adventures, creativity, passion, and to live life on my own terms. Except now I don’t know what that involves.

I’m moving to Prague, Czech Republic on March 17th to pursue a TEFL Certification and look at culinary programs.  I’m absolutely terrified.  It’s scary when you realize your dreams could be come reality. What if I fail at this?  What if I hate being abroad for so long?  What if I’m not cut out for teaching English or culinary school?

Rocky Balboa said:

“It ain’t about how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

I’ve been hit with too many devastating events in my life, and each time seems to beat me harder than the last.  It’s time to move forward.  It’s time to take my life abroad and test my limits.  It’s time to create my own happiness and discover what it means to live life on my own terms.  Eventually, you reach a point in life when you stop questioning your decisions, your abilities and yourself, and just do it.

Make your dreams come true.


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Comments (33)

33 Responses to “No One Told Me Life Would Be This Messy”

  • Big L Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 9:23 am

    I know I'm going to adore hearing about and supporting your journey. You are so, so brave, and you're doing the right thing by reaching for the stars, that much I know for sure. Readers don't even know what they're in for!

  • Lindsey Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 9:32 am

    Girrllllllll, I feel you. After living out one version of life that came so clearly, and then turning your back on it to go in the complete opposite direction, you definitely feel that QLC again. I'm living out my dreams in a big way, just like you're on your way to do, and sometimes its the only thing that makes sense. At least I'm DOing it. Because I still don't feel like I can give myself a clear cut vision of what exactly living on my own terms means, but every day, with every experience, I learn a little more. Lookin' forward to see how it pans out, fellow adventurer :)

  • Hannah Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 9:38 am

    Wow, Katharine, I can't wait to hear about your time in Prague and live vicariously through you until I figure out what my own adventures will be! You rock. Own it. :)

  • Kate Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Thanks for your support, love! Means so much and I cannot wait to rock this out with you and everyone else!

  • Kahea Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 9:42 am

    That is a lot to go through and I think it's incredible to be able to say to yourself at this point: I want creativity and passion and adventure and I DON'T just want my old life back! And I think there's always the fear that maybe what we think we want may not be what we actually want, but that's part of the adventure, isn't it? The learning and growing and accepting that you may change your mind again and again and again…and all that means is that one day when you look back, your life will be filled with tons of different experiences and stories. I'm excited to see how things work out!

  • Kate Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 9:44 am

    Friends ask me why I'm doing this and some have told me they don't understand why I'm going. Truth is, I can't really explain it in a way that they will actually understand. It's just something that feels right. I hit a breaking point towards the end of 2010 and I'm just ready to spend some time finding myself. No one is really going to understand why we do the things we do… but I'm learning that as long as I understand it, as long as I know this is the right thing for myself, that's all that matters.

    Let me know if you have any recommendations on places to visit! I'm trying to spend the next year visiting as many countries/continents as I can! : )

  • Bri - Habbala Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 9:49 am

    Wow. What a story. What an incredible point to be at for exploration and growth and ADVENTURE. I am in awe and so excited we all get to share in the story with you. Wow.

  • Kate Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 10:02 am

    I think it's more scary because I never thought my life would turn out this way. Of course, who does, right?! But, I've always 'played it safe,' so to speak, when it comes to life. The biggest risk I took was moving to Philly. It turned out well (thankfully), but this time I'm not just moving 300 miles away, I'm moving ACROSS BODIES OF WATER to a different continent!

    So yeah, I'm totally freaked. :)

  • Kate Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 10:08 am

    Thanks, Hannah! I cannot wait to share my journey with you and everyone else! :)

  • K Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 10:10 am

    "You can’t teach these things, you can only learn from them."
    I'm going to remind you about this line that YOU said yourself. You are going to learn so much, especially about yourself, as you embark on this new adventure. But I also know that you're going to teach and inspire a lot of people through your example. I'm happy for you; I'm proud of you; and I'm very fortunate to have you in my life, as a teacher and a friend. XOXO

  • Kate Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 10:27 am

    Have I told you how much I love you?! Seriously, major girl crush!! :)

    Please make sure to reply to my emails when I'm in Prague and vent about things like jet lag, language barriers, and being lost in Europe! Because you always find a way to keep me grounded and it's one (of many) things that I love most about you.

    PS: I have a massively long email coming your way. Stay tuned.

    XOXO

  • Jeni Lynne Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 10:35 am

    You have my love & support all the way KT! You are a pillar of strength as all else may seem to be crumbling around you. I’m proud to be your friend and cannot even wait to watch your Next leg of your journey!

  • Alisha Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 11:40 am

    I love that Rocky quote too. I look forward to sharing your journey )

  • Juliana Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    I think when you have a baby idea like this, it's good to treat it gently, and be careful who you tell. I waited a LONG time before I told anyone I was leaving my 9 to 5 because I knew they'd be all, "But WHYYYY it's such a good JOOOOOB!" hehe.

  • Heather Rae Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    I can relate! I love your story and that you're strong enough to keep moving forward. I can't wait to read your posts!

  • Jeanne Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    Your comment that "Eventually, you reach a point in life when you stop questioning your decisions, your abilities and yourself, and just do it" really strikes a chord. I admire that you're doing it and I think it's a key to lasting success to stop erecting our own stumbling blocks of what ifs. I just haven't figured out how to stop doing it yet! And just because something didn't last doesn't mean you weren't a success – think of how many lives you touched for the better during those years! Time and circumstances can't un-do that. I wish you a wonderful year of teaching and learning! You are already inspiring!

  • K Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    I'm flattered! Girl crushin' back on you, lady!

    I will always reply to your emails with encouraging words & reminding you how amazing you are. And if mail is easier, you got yourself a Pen Pal from Chicago.

    Ready for your email whenever you have the time.

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    Prauge…that is just a mind blowing opportunity to fully grab life by the horns. Darlin', life is about taking these chance, jumping off the cliff and flying. At 25, why should you have it all figured out? What fun does that make the next 75 years? Keep going for it. Reach for that golden ring. When you get it, swing to the next one. I'll be right here cheering you on.

  • Kate Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    Thanks, Heather! Can't wait to share it all with you! :)

  • Kate Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    Thanks for the wonderful support, lady! I'm completely terrified, but also excited about these next few months. I know it's going to be super tough adjusting to everything in the beginning, but I think I'm going to really fall in love with everything! Can't wait to share more with you!

  • erannorton Says:
    February 4th, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    Holy guacamole! I can't wait to hear how your amazing travels of self-discover turn out – so incredibly exciting! And I really want to commend you on your bravery in taking such a big, daring, thrilling step. I have a feeling this is going to be one of the best things you've ever done in your life :)

  • Carly Mc Says:
    February 5th, 2011 at 8:14 am

    What guts it must take to decide to move to another country and start fresh. I'm certainly jealous and am rooting for you!

  • Natalie Says:
    February 5th, 2011 at 9:05 am

    So excited to follow your journey to you! Prague should be wonderful, I hope it is an exciting place to make your dreams come true

  • asummermoon Says:
    February 5th, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    so true Juliana, misery loves company and people are very uncomfortable with change especially when they don't have the courage to make changes for themselves so they complain about their lives rather than do something about it and pull down others with them

  • asummermoon Says:
    February 5th, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    Katherine I love your story so much and I'm happy to read about someone who lived right next door to me (I'm in NJ) when I lost darn near everything that was oh so valuable to me including my job I thought I would go travel the world too however life threw me some more twists and turns but for once I'm using them to further my growth. I applaud your courage and look forward to reading more about your adventure.

  • Kate Says:
    February 5th, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Thanks for reading! It's been a tough couple of months, but I'm determined to make my move to Prague well worth it. And I can't wait to share my stories with you!

  • Kate Says:
    February 5th, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    Thanks, Carly! Can't wait to share my journey with you!

  • Lindsey Says:
    February 6th, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Istanbul – must visit! I recommend it to everyone. Haven't been to Asia yet so I can only give wishlisty advice there. But for ski areas in the Rockies, endless advice for Big Sky, Tahoe & Steamboat, CO. And Hawaii too :)

  • Nessa Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 9:19 am

    You do love Philly! You quoted Rocky!

    I’m so glad you are making the changes that you need to get back on your own track. Who knows what you’ll be doing 3 months from now, but you can take chances now and gain wisdom from them regardless. I can’t wait to read more!

  • Kate Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 11:02 am

    I will admit that one of the best things about Philly is Rocky Balboa.

    And, of course, you. ;)

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    Shall we all go visit? I have been there, but would like to come back in the winter and wear a big furry hat with furry pom poms.
    When I was there, I drank a lot of beer. You would love it, Renee! ;)

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    Oh life and it's curveballs… So glad to hear you're using them, Miss Lynn! XO

  • amandafarough Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    It really is one of those things that no one can teach you: how to bounce back from the brink only to square your shoulders and move forward. Life can be a nasty ol' crone but she's wise. She knows shit. And you? You're primed for awesome adventures because of it. Can't wait to see more from you. <3

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