Blah Blah Blah and the Comparison Game

posted 19th March 2011    Written by: Dee    CATEGORY: Dee, Inspiration, Quarterlife Crisis, Tips & Tools, What I've Learned

Here’s what: I’m feeling blah.

I’m feeling inferior.

I’m feeling like time is a tickin’ and I’m standing still while everyone around me is doing profound, profound things.

Okay, so, I know that isn’t entirely true but I’m going to complain and whine for a hot second anyway. Then, I’m going to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get on with it. Watch.

Everyone’s got something “going on.” Katharine just moved to Prague. Juliana is releasing music like mad. Molly is busy inspiring, like, thousands of women everyday, Bri is falling in love, Laura has a thriving business, and Amanda is about to give life to another human being, for heaven’s sake.

My friends are making big life changes like moving to fantabulous cities, getting married, beginning exciting careers, and saving Japan. Me? Eh. I’m getting up in the morning and going to class and drinking a lot of coffee and writing and other stuff, too. Like cleaning my closets this weekend. Oh, and I also might try a new recipe from Whole Living magazine. And, uh? I’ll probably make a trip to Sephora, rent a movie, or maybe clip my toenails and clean my toilet. I don’t know, we’ll see how it goes.

Blah. That’s what.

Lately, honestly, I’m wondering, when will my big moment be? When will all of this quarter-life crisising and work towards identifying myself materialize into something I can pinpoint as progress? When does the talking end and the walking begin, ya know? What’s my identity? Who am I? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

Why is my inner critic telling me that my identity isn’t enough? Why do I feel insecure in a life that I’ve really wanted for a long time? Because I’m not being awesome in the same way as other people? That’s silly.

Whatever it all means, now I’ll slap myself and get back to the reality I’m living with a little pep talk.

I’m a college student, which makes me fortunate all in itself. I’m attending a university I love in a town that I love more. I finally got the balls to study what I wanted to study and make movement toward a life that I’ll enjoy and feel passion for. I have strong friendships with just enough people who know who I really am. I’ve got an apartment that I am crazy about and that feels like home, complete with plenty of candles, a stellar book collection, and my beagle friend. I have a great haircut and some pretty sassy articles of clothing that make me feel freakin’ cool. I live above a sweet bookstore, a hop from my coffee shop, and across the street from my favorite restaurant. I’ve been given so many opportunities, so many more than millions of people across the globe and I’ve got the world in the palm of my hands- anything I can dream, ready for the taking! OH! And, someone asked me out on a real-life date. I mean, he was wearing socks with sandals but I feel like if he is going to buy me food and is also a fan of pinot noir, then we can work the sock thing out.

Truth be told, it’s a pretty quiet, slow, uneventful life right now. Which, HELLO, is just fine. At times like this, when I’m playing the comparison game, which I always seem to be losing, I need to remind myself that getting here has taken a lot of hard work. Getting to a place where my situation is so very me has been a long haul. I’m not standing still, I’m standing in a place I dreamed of standing in not very long ago.

Welp, there’s my identity right now. A woman who recognized what wasn’t working and put the pieces back together in a way that feels more like me. I had to wipe my slate clean and rebuild to get to the point I’m at. I am DAMN proud of myself.

I do love my day-to-day. There is no aspect of my life that I’d change. Not one. And while I’m not exactly freeing refugees, saving whales, opening my own business or traveling the world with my backpack of awesome, I am enjoying what I’ve got goin’ on. I am doing important things like getting my degree, paying my bills on time, and making sure I see every concert that comes my way, reading everything I can get my hands on, and soaking up all the culture that a 24-year-old single gal can whilst looking bangin’ hot. That’s me right now.

And, I suppose that if I am playing the comparison game, I should know that I’m winning, because the only person I am playing with is myself. I’m putting in the work; the day-to-day grind. What makes me fortunate and reminds me to stop complaining and feeling inferior is that coolest part: my little, humble routine makes me really happy. And happy day-to-day life eventually leads to the strength to begin monumentally life-changing events and chase big stuff like world travels and saving people.

What is with the comparison game, anyway? That game is no fun. I quit. I’m going to start my own game called “I really like my very own, unique life.” Who wants to play?

[If you're really down to play the game with me, the best place to start is by taking Molly up on her scholarship offer for six weeks of coaching. As someone who has worked through a whole slew of Molly's awesome products and used her guidance to get to where I am, TRUST ME, this could change it all for you, and like, duh, it's free. Apply.]

[photo credit: The Second Twenty Seven of Winter]

Bookmark and Share
Comments (16)

16 Responses to “Blah Blah Blah and the Comparison Game”

  • Cait Says:
    March 20th, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    The comparison game is one that I play a LOT. It's really difficult not to sometimes, especially when everyone around me seems to be working on something big. Whenever it starts to get to me too much, I help myself to a dose of "the grass is always greener" – just because my friends are doing big things doesn't mean I need to be, especially if it's stuff I don't even like.

    For example, my four closest friends from college either went to medical or graduate school, and at first I though, "maybe I should too!" Then I realized I HATE school and there's no real career goal I can achieve by going back (at least not that I've figured out yet). Instead, I looked at everything going on in my own life and learned to be content with it, or find goals that I truly wanted to achieve.

  • Katie [blogs] Says:
    March 20th, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    I referenced this post on the conference call that you didn't make. ;)

    I'm right here with you in this. I have absolutely nothing new going on right now, and as un-exciting as that is, it's kind of refreshing. I don't have to hide behind sadness and fear and putting on a face of happiness when really I'm feeling sad. It's a rest stop, and I'm chillin' out, sippin' on Starbucks, and of course, reading your awesome posts.

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 20th, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    THIS. I wrote about this for my next post. How the eff did we overlap and I didn't know it? I love how honest and earnest this is. J'adore, beautiful. J'adore.

  • Kristen Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 5:00 am

    The comparison game is story of my life– that I'm trying so hard to push away. I'm at the point in my life where I've reached a bunch of goals I had years ago and am now trying to figure out what's next or if there needs to be a next. What you say about loving the everyday and being happy in that resonates so much with me– it sort of is a great feeling to be great at life everyday and realize at some point that the next big thing will come to you when it's meant to happen.

  • Big L Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 7:46 am

    I adore this. That's all.

  • deebuzzing Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 9:34 am

    I so suffer from the same mentality, as you can see!! It's EASY to fall in line with whatever everyone else is doing and it's so HARD to take the time and energy to be real with yourself in order to find what line you want to get in. Easy vs. Hard and Easy often wins, I know, I know.

    And YES, there ARE some things we have to learn to be content with, circumstances outside of our control, but I certainly know finding goals were working towards will bring us all something beyond content. Keep truckin, lady!

  • deebuzzing Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 9:35 am

    What did you SAY on the call? That you missed me?!?!?!?!

    For the record, you gots it goin on, Katiepants. But, yes, sometimes rest stops have the best views.

  • Renee Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 9:40 am

    I think it's so important to recognize even small things are important. We may not be saving the world in epic proportions, but just small steps towards self-empowerment are so, so, SO important. The most epic and important that thing I did this weekend? I put my marriage first and we treated ourselves to an AMAZING sushi dinner and a bottle of prosecco. Epic.

  • deebuzzing Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 10:12 am

    Probably cause we's kindred spirits. Or, because your writing inspires my writing. Cyber hugs to you and that little ZomBaby nugget. :)

  • deebuzzing Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 10:12 am

    Big Thank you, Big L.

  • deebuzzing Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 10:14 am

    YES YES YES! I'm so NOT great at everyday life- YET!- but YES YES YES it is a great feeling to have an everyday that is what I have worked hard to build. GOOD FOR YOU for accomplishing all of your goals! And if it's time to set out in a new direction, make sure it's authentically YOU and shouts HAPPY.

  • deebuzzing Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 10:15 am

    SUSHI IS SO IMPORTANT- YOU ARE RIGHT! And, YOU and YOUR ENERGY constantly remind me to seek out the happy joy that every situation, big or small, can bring. So thank ya.

  • Julia Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Thanks for the blog post D! I play the comparison game way too often, so I know what you mean. I'm still in school while my friends are moving on in their careers and living life as responsible adults or living in exciting cities and doing fun things… but I just have to remind myself that the race is only with myself.

  • deebuzzing Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    The race is only with yourself. Amen.

  • Kahea Says:
    March 21st, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    I'm eyeballs deep in the comparison game this week after so many weeks of feeling just GOOD about things. So I get it, and I'm glad I found this post today so that I could get a whole lot of "I'm actually NOT alone!" So thanks! And I'm glad you're recognizing your own awesomeness too.

  • deebuzzing Says:
    March 22nd, 2011 at 6:39 am

    You are endlessly welcome, and thank you for your support, too. You are certainly not alone, LADY! This place absolutely rocks. I always seem to stumble upon a post I need at the exact moment I need it.

Leave a Reply

name*


email* (will not be published)


website


comments