Can I be honest? I’m terrified.

posted 29th March 2011    Written by: Amanda    CATEGORY: All Posts, Amanda, Family, Job/Career/Work, Love/Relationships, Season 4

Note: this is my very first video blog, like, ever. Be gentle… but be honest: how’d I do? If you’re a mama, tell me how you’ve dealt with your terror and freakouts. I would love to see how other mamas — or mamas to be — deal. You all give me such inspiration. ILU.

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Comments (21)

21 Responses to “Can I be honest? I’m terrified.”

  • Mel James Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 8:37 am

    <3 This is exactly it. I am full of the same fear/terror. I'm totally psyched with becoming an Aunt one day, but the idea of a little human relying on me scares the sh*t outta me. I think you are awesome for talking about it.

  • Clare Louise Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 9:05 am

    Great video :) It's really great to put a voice behind all the writing; a voice makes all the difference in the world. And hey – I think there'd be something wrong if you *didn't* feel terrified, right?

  • Mike Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 9:23 am

    Great work with your first big video blog, love. You are amazing.

  • cyndi Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 9:27 am

    I have teenagers, and all I can say is: "be afraid. Be very, very afraid." Lol.

  • Mary Havlicek Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 10:02 am

    Geez, hon, you made me tear up. I've got two and I'll tell you this: I spent my first pregnancy with my head in the sand because I was so scared, but the second pregnancy was a "been there, done that" experience. Four years after becoming a mom, I'm still scared – I'm scared of the years that are to come… especially the teenage ones. They kinda give me the heebie jeebies. The fear never goes away.

    I'm going to reveal a little secret to you – all moms fail. I screw up probably at least once a day. I'm human. You're human. It will happen. But if you love your son with all your heart, which you already do or you wouldn't be so scared, then that's what matters. It's what ultimately makes you a successful mom.

    You did a beautiful job with this post. And you are beautiful. And a wonderful mom. <3

  • Julie Daley Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 10:06 am

    Brava, Mama. Brava. There is so much power in simply acknowledging your feelings. I bet there are a whole bunch of emotions that you're swimming in.
    love, julie

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 10:15 am

    You took my challenge and you knocked it out of the PARK. This, this is amazing. And brave. And so gorgeously honest. I'm a bit nervous in advance of getting preggo and having a little one- so it's wonderful to hear from you (and from everyone) that it's all normal. Expected.

    Lovely job, you beautiful creature.

  • Juliana Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 10:57 am

    Video blog = awesome.

    You're so inspiring in your honesty.

  • Alison Gresik Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    I love that you're letting yourself come face to face with the contradictions around motherhood ~ excitement and terror.

    Here's what I can tell you as a mom who thought long and hard before deciding to have kids: everything is theoretical until you meet your child. And your child is so wonderfully embodied as him/herself that it stops being about abstract ideas of freedom and responsibility and becomes about this particular human you're getting to know and love.

    So if you want, you can bookmark the questions and come back to them once the rest of the equation is filled in.

    You guys are gonna do great. If you care this much now, about yourself and your kid? You have nothing to worry about.

  • Lindsey Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Omg Amanda, I love this. You are so brave in your honesty! Thank you for this =]

  • Yvonne Hoffman Says:
    March 29th, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    I just finiished listening to your blog. It brought back alot of emotions of being a mom for the first time. All the doubts and feelings that you have, I had them too. You will not be the first to feel these emotions or the last. I remember when your auntie had her first at 39 and not planned. She thought her life was over. It wasn't over and her fears went away. She said that her girls are the best thing that ever happened to her. When your baby arrives All those "what ifs" and "doubts" will disappear. All will matter is that little bundle joys in yours arms. It is a life time change, but it will be all for the good. You will be an awesome mama. I have no doubt in my mind. Remember this Nona is only a phone call or web cam away to help you with your emotions and doubts. Just remember are tea times together and take a deep breath and everything will run off your shoulders. I love you so much

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 10:27 am

    Thanks Mel. I felt so much better after just letting out these fears. Cathartic doesn't even begin to cover it. Deep sigh. :]

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 10:27 am

    Oh yeah, there'd definitely be something wrong if I didn't feel terrified. I think that'd make me a robot and as much as I love robots, I'd prefer to be human kthx.

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 10:28 am

    I love it when you comment, husband. <33

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 10:30 am

    Awww, thanks for saying so, Mary. Kelly and I have talked about the inevitability of screwing up. Daily. It's part of the journey, I suppose. Thanks for popping in, lovely. <3

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 10:32 am

    It's a glass case of emotion, J. I feel better for embracing my feelings. I so desperately wanted to hide but that ain't an option anymo'. ILU. <3

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 10:33 am

    Hell, if a little bit of terror and anxiety wasn't normal, we'd all be denying who we are: fallible and utterly fragile. And right now, I'll take frailty and fallibility over hiding.

    Thanks for giving me the opportunity to make this happen, M. You're the bestest.

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 10:34 am

    You. You I heart. Just sayin'.

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 10:39 am

    I love this. I'm so analytics sometimes and to see this from your perspective, too, is supremely helpful/insightful/awesometacular. Thanks for this, Alison. <3

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 10:40 am

    The fact that MY MAMA — the paragon of maternal lovin' — had these fears too makes me feel so much better. Thanks for commenting, mama. Thanks for being you.

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    April 4th, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    You know, you're are completely beautiful. You are strong and passionate. When you talk about your baby, this look comes over your face…that love….that's all you need to be a good mother. Good mothers come in all shapes, sizes, colors, personalities and professions. You WANT to do right, even if you're scared about losing yourself. That driving force, that love, is something no one can ever take from you. Don't worry about meeting everyone else's expectations, instead, focus on what's right for you, for Mike, for Zombaby. I, for one, am confident that your fears will push you to a higher, beautiful height.

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