Learning the Hard Way

posted 18th March 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Katharine, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

There are two kinds of people – those who learn the hard way and those who learn the easy way by taking someone’s advice.  I learn the hard way.  I’ve always learned the hard way because frankly, I’m too stubborn to learn the easy way.  I mean, how fun would that really be anyway?  If you tell me not to do something, chances are, I’m going to do it just to try to prove you wrong.

I waited for the perfect moment.  To change careers, move out of Philadelphia, and travel the world.  I had every excuse in the book not to quit my job and move to California or Chicago.

I can’t quit without having another job lined up.

I can’t leave my friends and family behind.

I can’t…

I can’t…

I can’t…

I learned the hard way that in life, there are no perfect moments.

It took losing my job, failing at entrepreneurship, and fighting a Quarterlife Crisis for me to learn that the ‘perfect moment’ is right now.  If I ever wanted to travel around the world and pursue my passion of opening up my own Bed & Breakfast, it was time to stop making excuses and start taking action.  Dreams don’t become reality unless you get off your ass and do something about it.

By the time you read this, I will have landed at Ruzyne International Airport jet-lagged, tired, hungry, and overwhelmed.

The hardest part is over: getting on that plane to London, enduring a 4 hour layover at Heathrow International, and then boarding my plane to Prague.

I had to travel halfway around the world to learn to stop making excuses for myself.  I had to let go of a foundation I spent years building to learn to stop settling for what feels comfortable and work harder toward achieving authentic happiness.  I had to fail at running a nonprofit organization to learn how to be an effective leader and a successful entrepreneur.  I had to sacrifice certain friendships and relationships – and just hope they survive the distance – to learn how to put myself first.  I had to lose my parents to learn the importance of family.   I had to lose my well-paying, comfortable job to learn that I don’t want the 9-5 Corporate lifestyle.  I had to walk away from everything I knew and loved, at a time when maybe I should have fought harder, to learn how important this truth-seeking journey is going to be.

Truth be told, I cannot believe I did this.  I mean, who packs their bags and moves halfway around the world to a city yet to be seen and a career yet to be tested?  It’s crazy, right?  But as crazy as it is to venture into the unknown with my heart wide open and my arms flailing, it feels effing awesome.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely terrified right now, and you have no idea how many anxiety attacks I had as I boarded that plane to London, but there’s just something so… exhilarating… about a clean slate.  Especially when that clean slate takes place in a city where no one knows your name.  It’s like a second chance at life.  A fresh start.  A chance to do things right.

I learned the hard way that sometimes you have to let go of everything in order to reclaim your life.

{photo credit: chesterfan1230}

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Comments (16)

16 Responses to “Learning the Hard Way”

  • Juliana Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 9:02 am

    XOXOXOXOXO

    (I have nothing more eloquent to add.)

  • Emme C Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 9:05 am

    The phrase "learning the hard way" has been on my mind this morning, too. Thanks so much for sharing!

  • Me Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 10:08 am

    This is what I've been gong through. What a great inspiring read that is so true. Thanks for sharing this thought provoking piece.

  • cosmocowgirl Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 11:02 am

    Thanks for sharing, I too take the route of learning the hard way.

  • JenBetweenDots Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 11:50 am

    I did the exact same thing and left my hometown after losing my cushy job etc. I got the CELTA and now here I am in Costa Rica teaching English and loving every minute of it! Can't wait to hear more about your adventure :)

  • Katie [blogs] Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    I have a certain respect for people who "learn the hard way". Sometimes, as you've said, you just have to do things in spite of fear. "Un-Learn" all of those lessons that we've learned in being afraid, stuck, etc. Even though I'm going through major abandonment saddness right now, I know that this what you needed to do.

    And you'll be back to me, and this will be one of those experiences that we tell our grandkids.

    Yes. OURS.

  • Laurinda Wheeler Says:
    March 18th, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    This really speaks me to me right now…thank you.

    I too have ALWAYS insisted on learning everything the hard way; never taking advice, never learning from the mistakes of others around me, and often, not always learning the lesson the first time around!!

    You are so right in that sometimes we do just need to take that leap, toss everything thing else aside and go for it; something I may really must be needing to be reminded of!

    Good luck on the new chapter in your life and enjoy the adventure! :)

  • Kate Says:
    March 19th, 2011 at 8:11 am

    Thanks for reading! Appreciate the support!

  • Kate Says:
    March 19th, 2011 at 8:11 am

    How do you like teaching in Costa Rica?! I really want to visit there soon – will probably make that the last part of my trip!

  • Kate Says:
    March 19th, 2011 at 8:13 am

    It's the moments when we've thrown out the rule book that turn out to be some of the best ones.

    It's a big adjustment living in another country – especially one where I don't speak the language, but I'm so incredibly glad that I did this, even if it is tough to order a drink at the bar!

  • Kate Says:
    March 19th, 2011 at 8:14 am

    Thank you, Laurinda! It's been a challenge so far, but a good challenge! I'm really loving Prague – the city and architecture is beautiful and the beer is yummy! :)

  • Lindsey Says:
    March 19th, 2011 at 8:29 am

    Maybe the hard way is the only way to really understand. At least sometimes. Have fun in Prague, girl. It's so beautiful there!

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    March 19th, 2011 at 8:51 am

    I don't know why it is so hard to realize that there is no perfect time, that you just have to leap. Maybe its because we were always taught to look before we leap. I learn the hard way too, but maybe that just makes us stronger.

  • Kate Says:
    March 19th, 2011 at 9:24 am

    Thanks, Lindsey! I really love this city – the architecture is so beautiful and everything is within walking distance or a short metro/tram ride away!

  • Kate Says:
    March 19th, 2011 at 9:27 am

    I whole heartedly agree that learning the hard way makes us stronger. I was terrified to do this, but now that I'm here, I'm really enjoying it. The people here are so nice and the city is so beautiful!

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 20th, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    "It took losing my job, failing at entrepreneurship, and fighting a Quarterlife Crisis for me to learn that the ‘perfect moment’ is right now. "

    It's so PAINFUL to learn the "hard way" but honestly, there's no other way for me, either. It's all about failing and madness and everything in between to realize that there is no such thing as "perfect". I'm with you there, m'dear.

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