Making Life a Little More Vacation-Like

posted 30th March 2011    Written by: Laura    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Laura, Season 4, Travel

Ahhh, vacation. The decadent, scarce concept of taking a break. Being off the grid. Living, for the most part, without deadlines, demands on your time and attention, or the pressure to perform. It’s damn good, isn’t it?

I spent the last week in Mexico; doing a whole lot of nothing. Drinking, eating, tanning, and celebrating the nuptials of two of my favorite people.

For me, one of the best parts about vacation is that I barely have to use my brain. Thinking, analyzing, trying, doing; it all gets put on hold. I don’t question the meaning of life or grapple with how to be more fulfilled. Oh no. I flick an internal switch, turn it all off, and it feels downright delicious.

They say all good things come to an end. And in the case of vacation, that’s always true. That’s partly what makes it so sweet – returning home, to your own comforts and your own bed – but also so…unnerving. Because it gets me thinking: why must vacation feel SO MUCH BETTER than real life? I mean, there’s a difference between “Yay! That was so much fun!” and “Oh God. When I wake up tomorrow, real life resumes. Damn.”

No matter where I go or what I do, I always have one very specific, sinking feeling. I don’t want to go back to work. In my former life, when my workplace felt like hell on earth, this sinking feeling was more like an aching chasm of despair. Vacation was a frightening reminder of how much I hated my job. Now, being my own boss, it’s not so bad. But the return from vacation is still no peach.

Case in point? Last night, I had a restless sleep. The kind where I wanted a good night’s sleep, because I knew performance expectations would rise with the sun. I would have to accomplish something; serve somebody. But I kept waking to check the time, wondering how many more hours of vacation-induced peace I had left. You ever have those nights? (Please say yes.)

Well this time, I’m challenging that cloud of dread. I will not sit back and accept it. Instead, I will question it. I will push back. I will ask: What would make my life feel a little more vacation-like? A little more at ease. A little more exploratory. A little more casual. A little more like late breakfasts, poolside reading and pina coladas.

For starters, I wouldn’t feel hemmed in, controlled or uber accountable to anyone. I like being accountable to one person: me. Selfish? Perhaps. But it’s also peaceful, comfortable, kind, and flexible; just the way I like it.

I would enjoy at least one Internet-free day a week. That means no emails, no social media, no online news consumption or distractions.

I would spend more time in situations that allow me to work independently, to interact with people who are confidantes and equals, and to explore possibilities as openly and creatively as I want.

I would honor my values more. I have seven pages in my Stratejoy notebook, outlining ideas for ways I can nurture creativity, authenticity, momentum, bigness, kindness, money, and fun. But I don’t pay attention to them. Figuring out how to do that would be a total treat.

I’d focus on making enough money – living comfortably – but not on making as much money as I possibly can. I’d way rather direct that extra effort and clarity of mind to other things. Like creative expression, learning and exploration of some of my big ideas; even if they don’t yield any cash flow, profile or further opportunities.

You know what else would be scrumptious and vacation-like? Doing nothing but creating content. Writing magazine articles, a book, scripts, or motivational speeches for a living. Creating my own schedule and maybe, someday, not serving clients at all. Unless you count magazines, publishers, blog readers; that sort of thing.

The more I think about it, the more a little voice inside gets louder. It tells me that I’m pretty good at seeing the big picture, being positive, staying grounded, and having faith. It tells me that I’m passionate about keeping things in perspective and that I love sharing that perspective with others.

It tells me that I would love it if the only way I was accountable to other people was to inspire them. Then, life might feel a little more like vacation. A little more at ease. A little more exploratory. A little more casual. A little more like late breakfasts, poolside reading and pina coladas.

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Comments (12)

12 Responses to “Making Life a Little More Vacation-Like”

  • Julie Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 8:36 am

    It's funny how we had the same kind of reflexion. (again!!!).
    Only yesterday I was questionning my business model. Thinking about how my actual business model is driving me away from the lifestyle I want (vacation-like, not too many clients, flexible schedule, time to do other things (take a walk in the sun at 2pm) and get creative – just like you). And although I mostly create content to inspire and connect, what I dream about is inspiring people and coach people in doing something (aka write for the web) and not just do it for them… You know that I was thinking about bringing collaborators in. But still, I'm not sure that would liberate me that much. Would I have to validate everything they write? That doesn't sound vacation-like. What I like is ALSO to share and inspire. Proof is that my personal blog is feeding me so much and it's never a chore to write a blog post for it. And people actually SAY that I am inspiring. Isn't that a good start.
    Oh and P.S. Laura, I know that you are absolutely totally inspiring too!
    Can't wait to see where we'll all end up!
    xxx

  • amandafarough Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 11:16 am

    OH GAWD. I feel you, sister. It can be so exhausting to live in the moments of "how can I help?" It's necessary to stay on top of your biznez shit but not if you're sacrificing sanity. I would totally dig being able to just… inspire, instead of ONLY crafting online aesthetics so they can inspire and be amazing.

    Gets depressing. And draining. Even amidst all of the awesome.

    Screw selfish, sugar. You're being honest. And I love it. <3

  • essieteric Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    Laura, you're doing such an amazing thing, and you're hella brave for writing about it. Especially about "making money" – I completely agree and it is so refreshing to hear another person's dream of money for getting by. I'm jealous of your committment to that – I'm still struggling with my materialism! ;)

    I've been questioning the same thing in my new job that I started 3 weeks ago. My business model is one of service and responsibility, but I can see so much room for inspiration and positivity that it makes my heart sing. Seeing these students work towards their PhD projects, and being there to be a listening ear or to help them if they need an extension on a milestone …. they come to me so ashamed when they need help, and I make it my goal to make sure they leave my office reassured.

    But that takes energy. And perseverence. And it leaves me hella tired at the end of the day! Taking on the anxieties of those that have a problem is a big thing. Taking them home before releasing those cares to the Abyss is probably worse!

    I've already taken steps to make my work more vacation-like. Sure, I don't switch off as much as I should, but I am finding that the experience of ritual gives me a sense of peace. My new job is close to home, so I'm now riding my beautiful bicycle Miss Darcy to and from work. My desk, usually littered with video game and anime figurines, has been downsized to three: BlueBuddha for my balance, Batgirl for her optimistic loyalty, and CactusNinja for her fierce protection. And lastly, I have an assortment of teas in my desk drawer, a teapot, and two cups – so that I make it an effort to stop, drink, and converse with my colleague. :)

  • Lindsey Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    I crafted my life as an eternal vacation for the past few years and I'm trying to discover how/if I fit back in to "normal" society. Permanent vacation is amazing… my values of Bliss, Authenticity, Health, Intellect are nurtured on a daily basis. But I also crave professional growth and financial stability – which no matter how hard I tried in vacation mode, I just COULDN'T do it.

    So coming from the complete opposite side of the fence, I guess the grass is always greener, eh? I highly encourage you to explore vacation mode, and I'll be dabbling in business, maybe we'll meet halfway? Growing professionally and savoring daily life at the same time… that's where I'm headed =]

  • Stephanie Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    Thanks for the inspiring post! I work in corporate america now and am definitely trying to find ways to live my life with more authenticity and room for more creativity. I love the idea of being accountable for inspiring other people. :)

  • Big L Says:
    April 1st, 2011 at 4:49 am

    We are SUCH soul sisters! I still can't believe sometimes how alike we really are :) It is a tricky question to think about and creating a business model that fosters those vacation-like feelings is much more of an art than a science. I think there's no right answer, we just have to keep evolving and making adjustments along the way. Thanks so much for your input! xo

  • Big L Says:
    April 1st, 2011 at 4:51 am

    It IS draining, isn't it?! I've had a rough couple of weeks and I think honestly it's largely due to the fact that I'm just feeling a little drained. Like, I've given a lot of inspiration, support and compassion to people around me so far this year and I need to kinda shut down for a couple weeks and take a break. It was a bit of a wake up call… As much as I love being inspiring and feel it comes naturally to me, we've got to be really careful to inspire OURSELVES, too!

  • Big L Says:
    April 1st, 2011 at 4:55 am

    I LOVE the points you make here – thank you! The realization of what it means to absorb other people's feelings and be a great problem solver for others has just recently hit me. Exactly like you said, it takes energy and can leave you hella tired. TOTALLY. That realization has been a big breakthrough for me this week. The ways you're countering that with building vacation-like moments in your day is awesome! Keep it up with Miss Darcy and tea, for sure! Now I've got to start working some little rituals like that into my days, too!

  • Big L Says:
    April 1st, 2011 at 4:56 am

    Thanks for this perspective Lindsey! You're right, the grass is always greener :) But I like your idea of meeting somewhere in the middle. I'll start exploring the vacation end of things and be sure to keep me posted of how the business exploration goes for you!!

  • Big L Says:
    April 1st, 2011 at 4:57 am

    Awww, you're welcome Stephanie, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Finding ways to build authenticity and creativity into your life isn't easy at first. But I figure that, like anything, it gets a lot easier with practice. We just can't give up on the challenge in the meantime :) Best of luck!!

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    April 3rd, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    Hey you two. Inspiring people is a tough job too! I mean really, think of all the hard client/friends I have to talk to every week… :) (You hear my joking and super loud laughing, right?!) No, but honestly, even when you love the main focus of your work, there is still pressure and accountability and times that feel WAY more like work than vacation.

    That all said, I LOVE the thrust of this post and am in totally favor. Vacation feelings FTW. XO

  • Molly_Hoyne_Mahar Says:
    April 3rd, 2011 at 5:24 pm

    Ooooooh. So true. Inspiring ourselves is vital!

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