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Spring Cleaning the Mind and Soul

posted 26th March 2011    Written by: Dee    CATEGORY: All Posts, Dee, Inspiration, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Tips & Tools, What I've Learned

WAHOO! SPRING is almost here, poking it’s joyful little head out, inviting me to remember that there is always, always, always sunshine after the rain, calm after the storm, and warmth after months of cold.

And, look at those cute ducklings. A timeless representation of spring and new life. I like to think of them as the ducks in my life, representing things like my health, well-being, finances, future, creativity, you know. Important ducks. Aren’t they adorable?! Yeah, yeah. But, what in the shit are they doing? They have no clue what’s going on. They’re all in a big jumbled mess. A big pile of idiot ducks with no freaking clue. They’re just jumping around all aimless and crazy-like. Seriously, what are they doing? Standing around looking at walls and picking their butts?

Hey, dum-dums! Spring is coming and we’ve got to get it together! You can’t just run around quacking in circles anymore. I’ve got better things to do! There is sunshine to be soaked up, flowers to be picked, patios to enjoy and frolicking to be done.

This winter was the worst, straight up. It was craptastic all the way to the core. Sucky to the max. The past few months have been about struggling to just get by- forget trying to thrive. And the weather. Good gracious. Don’t even get me started on the effects of seasonal depression and the toll it took on my body, my spirit, and my ability to cope with the boat loads of stress that the universe so kindly tested me with. My poor little Jeep kept pooping out on me, I was stranded here there and everywhere across the Midwest because of thunder blizzards, my dear grandmother passed away, my computer shot craps, some asshole hurt my feelings, my part-time job ended and on and on and on. Every day was an exercise in managing small crises. Basically, ducks gone wild.

But, it’s all over now because what the hell else can go wrong, you know? I’ll take that sick and twisted relief, thank you very much. Be gone winter, and take all your dumb and annoying inconveniences with ya.

Truth be told, I know that some of the circumstances that plagued my winter were out of my control, but others were the result of a hectic, frenzied lifestyle that I have created. My mantra has subconsciously been to “deal with it as it comes!” or “go with the flow!” or “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it!” I’ve really taken pride in that perspective. Sometimes that is a healthy, positive outlook.

But other times, thanks to my laid back attitude, I’ve found myself dealing with an overflow on a bridge that’s collapsing while ducks are running amok. The winter season opened my eyes to the idea that perhaps my philosophy isn’t working for me anymore.

What I’m looking for in this new season of my life is more calm, more peace, more organization and more preparation. Less last-minute, barely getting by stuff, less coaching myself through catastrophe. Fewer ducks in mayhem, more ducks in a nice, neat row.

And on the bright, bright side, daylight savings time snuck up a couple of weeks ago and blasted me with an extra hour and a shot of one hundred proof motivation to devote myself to that organization and spring cleaning. Whatever that hour and vitamin D does for the soul has exponentially improved my outlook and behavior. I can just feel the change of the seasons stirring outside my window and inside my soul.

I have just enough time to take care of the toxicity and weight that winter built up on my shoulders (and ass) so that I can start the next season of my life all fresh with rainbows and dancing and cupcakes and ducks in a row. I wanna shut the door on winter and find the closure I need so that I can start the next chapter calmly, with my batty little ducks organized and following obediently behind their mother duck.

Spring cleaning is about clearing the frost off of the window in order to see more clearly what has been missing from our lives while we holed up for the winter. It’s refocusing and understanding what a fresh start can bring, what that will take, and all the possibility that a new season holds. Spring cleaning is about organizing my life so that I can move forward without the clutter that holds me back and prevents me from hitting my stride. Spring cleaning is about identifying what isn’t working and deciding how I can improve.

Molly wrote a perfect post, full of ways to “get your act together”- which has been a guide for me as I’m getting my proverbial little ducks in a row so that I can gently transition from a life of crisis control to a life of rolling in the grass whilst wearing sundresses and cowboy boots. She writes about ten areas (money, health, relationships, space, parents, sex, work, travel, love, and spirituality) that need attention in order to clear out the cobwebs and nasty stuff that bogs us down through, for me, the winter doldrums.

I like to take what she offers, and put my own spin on it, deciding how I can best address each area of my life. For me, there are a few areas that I’m focusing in on (money, space, love, and spirituality) so that I can frolick through fields all spring and summer long without having to worry about a bunch of lunatic “ducks” running every which way. Yeah, I’ll probably toss out some clothes I don’t wear and dust my table tops or whatever people do to spring clean, but mostly, I’m brainstorming what needs my focus, getting the administrative stuff in order, having the conversations that need to be had, and ridding my space, both physical and mental, of nonsensical clutter. I’m setting myself up for success and moving on.

Farewell winter. You sent me into an imbalance, you depleted my vitamin D, you were a season in which I allowed annoying tasks and small responsibilities to shut me down, and I never want to see you again. I fell into a cloud and I didn’t even know it until the sun started shining lately.

Hear this:I have absolutely NOT learned to conquer this QLC deal, no way, no how. But, what I’m getting better at is understanding the seasons of life and the importance of pausing to consider how the next one can be its best. We can bloom again after a cold, dreary winter.

So, my dear, cute, crazy ducks- LINE UP, PLEASE. Spring is here and we’ve got better things to do than stand around in a disorganized pile of chaos.

[photo credit: MMM Mari]

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Surviving in, Adjusting to, and Falling in Love With Prague

posted 25th March 2011    Written by: Katie    CATEGORY: Katharine, Life Lesson, Season 4, Travel, Travel/Adventure

Dobrý den!

(that means ‘hello’ in Czech)

Well, I finally made it.  I moved to Prague and survived my first week living as an expat.  The city is gorgeous and the architecture is absolutely stunning.  Now I know why everyone says Prague is one of the most beautiful places in the world.

I have to be honest though, I can’t believe I’m here.  I can’t believe I had the guts to move to another country, determined to reclaim my life.

Adjusting to life in Prague is hard.  Nearly everything – street signs, posters, menus, and labels – are in Czech.

Grocery shopping is by far the hardest thing to do here. Every label (with the exception of the big name brands like Heinz ketchup, Coca-cola, and Lays) is in Czech, and when you don’t speak the language, or have even the slightest clue what any of the words translate into, it makes buying food rather challenging.  Two of my classmates bought what they thought was milk (it turned out to be a runny form of yogurt), so needless to say, I won’t be eating any cereal while I’m here.  Knowing my luck, I’d end up pouring cottage cheese on it.

It’s been a very overwhelming experience so far, but it still seems so unreal.  I mean, I’m doing all of these things like walking the cobblestone streets in Wenceslas Square, and struggling with the language barrier, and paying for toilet paper in public restrooms, yet it still doesn’t feel real.

My biggest fear was moving to another country. Now that I’m here, I look back on everything and it doesn’t seem so scary.  That’s the thing about life-changing decisions; they’re terrifying to make and follow through on, but once you do it, you look back and realize that it wasn’t so scary.  Life changing decisions force you to gain the kind of confidence you need to do anything you want with your life.

I know, it’s only been a week, and yes, I’m experiencing the beginning of my life as an Expat with 24 other classmates which does make the transition a lot easier, but you know what?  Moving out of the country and diving right into this TEFL certification program was one of the best decisions I could have made for myself.

I wanted adventures, creativity, and passion, and holy hell am I getting it – the adventures of grocery shopping and navigating the Center; the creativity it takes to write and execute effective lesson plans for the students; the passion (and fire) that’s building inside of me as I work to make a difference in peoples lives and live my own life with the kind of freedom that I’ve always dreamed about.

If this is what it’s like to teach and live in a foreign country, then I don’t ever want to return to the States.

Well, at least not for a while…

{photo credit: me}

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Passion, Paying the Bills, and Knowing Myself

posted 24th March 2011    Written by: Bri    CATEGORY: Bri, Job/Career/Work

Like most of you, I have a normal day job.  It’s not my passion, but I like it enough to not feel dread coming in to the office five mornings a week.

I am supported, appreciated, I have freedom to plan my own day, and I am good at what I do; so that’s a positive.  Bonus feature, I work at a non-profit so  at the end of the day I can stamp a “For the Greater Good” sticker on my day and skip happily home.

I skip home and do the thing that I actually LOVE to do; I write.  The internet is full of freelancing independent rockstars, and lately I have been wondering if I could/should do that with my life too.  If writing is what I love to do, should I be pursuing all possible roads to making this my career?

There’s a part of me that sees my friend taking risks and blazing trails, and I feel “less-than” as I hide in my comfy little office.  But then I remind myself that we can’t ALL be freelancing rockstars.  Freelancing is not easy and not for everyone.  From what I understand of my friends who are self-employed, freelancing involves crazy long hours, while fighting procrastination and isolation.  I don’t think that I am the right person to blaze trails in the freelancing world.

For starters, if I don’t talk to people during the day, I go crazy.  I need face-to-face interaction to feed my extrovert heart.  I love having co-workers; love it.  I love hearing how their weekends were and giggling over the lunch.  I like having a boss to keep me accountable for my projects.  If I worked for myself, I would probably do what I did in college; procrastinate to the extreme until I am forced to throw something together at the last minute.  I bet clients would love that.

When I was in high school everyone told me that I should major in English and be and English teacher because I lived for reading.  I refused to major in English (my one great rebellion) because I knew that if I majored in something I loved, I would risk loosing my passion for it.  I think for me, writing and this community is similar to my love of reading. There is a part of me that loves writing because I get to choose it; if I HAD to write I may not love it anymore. I don’t write to pay bills and if I have a period of time when I cannot find a thing to write about, I just don’t write.   However, most days, I do have things I want to write about. and I love that I get to write and connect for the sheer love of it.

Do you ever feel like you should be making a living from your passions?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

{Image Credit chrissymckeen}

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I’m Fiercely Protective. Of Myself.

posted 23rd March 2011    Written by: Laura    CATEGORY: Laura, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4

After last week’s doozy of a post about money, I figure I might as well keep the trend of confessing my crazies going. Here’s the latest: I’m fiercely protective. Of myself. And I’m not sure I can help it.

I’ve referred to this strong sense of independence before. I’ve admitted to being afraid of those three big words (I need you). And, I’ve admitted that exploring vulnerability has been a big, life changing deal for me. That’s true. Taking on business partners? Vulnerable. Getting engaged five months ago? Vulnerable. Last week’s money post? Vulnerable. Having a money talk with Hunny that same week? Vulnerable.

I’m definitely working on it.

But as I do, I’m realizing that I don’t think if I’ll ever let myself be fully exposed. Like, if I equate it to being naked, I’ll forever be leaving my socks on or something. You know?

Because I’m thinking: there’s a fine line between being totally real and open and sharing your soul, and losing your soul altogether. At least, that’s what it feels like to me. I think I’m starting to push where that line IS, shifting it inch by inch. But for me, it’s probably always going to be there.

I’m absolutely terrified of losing myself in other people. I’m absolutely terrified of forgetting how to stand on my own. And I absolutely refuse to share my soul to the point where I can’t see where mine starts, and someone else’s begins.

I’m not just talking in the romantic sense, either. I’ve always felt the need to protect my soul from everyone. My family, my friends, my boss, my clients, and now my business partners, too. Not because I don’t trust people or love them. I do.

But regardless, I need to know that I’ll still have something left inside if the people and things I know were to go away. I need to feel enough strength of self that I could endure tragedy, loss, divorce, confusion, and simple day to day uncertainties and still have some sense of who I am.

To me, that means:

These are my ideals; they’re not absolutes. They’re things I work toward and perspectives I try to maintain. But they’re a work in progress and are most definitely fragile. Perhaps most importantly, they’re where I am right now. And where I might be for a while.

What do you think? Am I crazy? Young and naive? Too guarded? Unrealistic? Idealistic?

I’m curious to know how where I’m coming from compares to where you’re coming from. Go on, spill!

(P.S. Confession #3: Part of the reason I’ve been able to own up to this stuff and share it with you guys is Molly, and her gentle questioning, poking, encouraging, and coaching that I SO appreciate. I love to hate her tough questions; they lead me to realizations like the one I just shared. If you’re looking for some more insight into YOU, or a whole host of other benefits that working with her offers, you should apply for her first-ever scholarship. But hurry, applications are due Sunday.)

{Photo credit}

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The Problem of Comparison OR “So, What About Me?”

posted 22nd March 2011    Written by: Amanda    CATEGORY: All Posts, Amanda, Creativity, Job/Career/Work, Season 4

Working with rock stars is exhausting.

Wait, let me rephrase that.

Working with amazing people is exhausting and not for the reasons you’d think. They’re not divas. They’re not snobbish. They are kind, considerate, beautiful, exhilarating individuals that really and truly shine. I’m blessed to be their friend. I’m honoured to be their aesthetic architect. Dually if I have the privilege of both.

They’re writers and coaches. They’re agents of social change. They’ve inspired many people in their work. They speak and it is gospel. They’ve shaped the futures of countless people just by existing and sharing their stories with the world.

When I sit down to really reflect on the whole “why the living hell would they want to work with little ol’ moi?”, it can be just as empowering as it can be confusing. Here I am — twenty-four years old — rubbing elbows with the biggest, baddest mamajammas (and just plain mamas) online. Really? ME?! Bloody hell, that can’t be right.

I’m the stage manager to their actress; the prop master to their director; and the choreographer to their prima ballerina.

While I may be in charge of crafting things behind the scenes, I can hardly say that what I do is inspiring to hundreds, thousands, and millions of people. What I do is create solutions for problems using design as both my medium and my toolset, where the problem is online aesthetic and visual branding.

In spite of all the inspiration and the unbridled amazing, it can get depressing.

While I’m fairly certain that I don’t require the limelight or for people to pay attention to meeee, working with the online equivalent of rock stars (no matter how clichéd the term has become) is a reminder of how much farther I need to go, both professionally and personally.

Let’s face it: I don’t want to be just a web designer or a mama or a branding specialist or a writer or a gamer or… you get the picture. I don’t want to be just anything. The grand scheme of it is to be as many things as I possibly can be without either exploding or imploding from pressure (be it external or internal).

I’m at least part-way responsible for the online development of these personal and/or professional brands/websites. I’m happy to lift them up and help them shine even brighter.

But it’s hard not to feel left behind sometimes.

It’s hard not to feel insignificant.

It creates a problem of comparison.

I could sit here and rattle off the ways in which I fall short. In comparison. The real problem of comparison creates an ego issue, where my self worth can get tied up in their success. The faster and more expansive their success, the better I feel. The slower and less expansive, the worse I feel.

It’s easy to get caught up in the comparisons, especially when I consider my definition of success: financial solvency and freedom to choose. These are people that can work a few hours a day, travel with their beautiful families (or by their sexy, sexy selves), go to yoga, and still manage to make a significant impact on their worlds.

A year ago, I was busting my ass just to make a cool couple hundred.

Six months ago, I busted my ass just to make a few dollars here and there.

The fact of the matter is this: I am a slave to my own ambition. I’m impatient. I wail and cry and beat on the wall until my hands bleed (no, not really). I beg the universe to give me a sign. Any sign. Anything. I’m often thrown into emotional purgatory as punishment, where I sit in dark rooms and brood about my path for days at a time during Vivienne Westwood retrospectives.

I had to stop comparing.

Shortly after my face-plant in the fall, I did the Joy Equation. I plucked myself out of melancholy and forced myself to recognize joy and to recognize the successes in my own life, not just in others’. I had — scratch that, have — an overwhelming tendency to want to be the best, when the best is often both a fallacy and an impossibility.

And, just like my view of balance, the theory of “the best” is bullshit.

No such thing. You can strive all you want, lovelies, but you ain’t nevah gonna get there. There’s always someone bigger and better than you at whatever you do.

My autumnal face-plant forced my to recognize that.

If I sat back and compared my life to everyone else’s, I would ultimately become a derivative; an unoriginal carbon copy of someone else. I’ve sought my whole life to avoid that. I don’t want to be like anyone. I just want to be myself, whatever that self may look like and whatever that self happens to mean in the grander scale of things.

When I tie up my own self worth in the success of someone else, I hand over the reins to chaos and uncertainty. By grasping the reins tightly and saying, “This is your stop, love. Go forth and prosper.” — I’ve retained control and managed my expectations of the situation.

The problem of comparison is self-destructive.

Ultimately, my success and self-worth are no one’s responsibility but my own. It’s not up to my clients and friends to take me along for the ride. It’s not up to my husband to build me up when I feel dismal (although, snuggles certainly help). It’s not up to you — my lovely Stratejoy family — to agree mindlessly with the things I write about.

I think that the more I explore the notion of self worth and success, the more comfortable I become with knowing there’s no such thing as stability within either of those concepts. It’s a constant struggle. It’s a battle waged on many fronts.

Most importantly, it’s far more rewarding to smile at my accomplishments and connections than it is to wonder, “What about me?”


Image by eatmeupinside.

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