My goals, They’re a Changin’

posted 13th April 2011    Written by: Laura    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Laura, Life Lesson, Season 4

When I hopped on this Stratejoy blogging train, I knew that committing to three specific goals was part of the deal. Seemed like a great idea. You know, so I can report back and share what I learned and experienced along the way.

Well guess what? We’re less than three months in and I’ve hit a bit of a rough patch. I’ve decided to kibosh not one but TWO of my goals.

Uh oh. A failure detector should start going off now, shouldn’t it? Goals are meant to be achieved, are they not? To Do lists are meant to be crossed off, yes?

Well, as I spend more time talking with Molly, listening to my own thoughts and instincts, and learning from like-minded people such as yourselves, I’m discovering that’s not necessarily the case.

Goals are meant to be exploratory and motivating. They’re meant to encourage us to ask for more for ourselves and our lives…for no other reason than we deserve it. But goals also represent a point in time. They were established and embraced on a certain day, with certain thoughts and feelings and assumptions as context around them. So when those thoughts, feelings and assumptions change – and they often do – our goals might end up feeling a little less worthy of our effort.

That’s exactly what happened to me. My goals worked well for the person I was in February months ago, but they don’t fit so nicely with the person I am now. Instead of wasting time chasing after two accomplishments that I wouldn’t even enjoy or feel inspired to complete, I’m bailing on them.

But, since I can’t leave you (or myself) hanging, I’ve come up with two new goals that I feel a little more excited about.

Old Goal #1: Run a half marathon.

New Goal #1: Run a 10 km…and maybe a half marathon later this year.

The rationale: I’ve ran half marathons before. And I’m confident that I will again some day….in fact, I already have tentative plans for running one in October. I enjoy the challenge, the stretching of well-used leg muscles, the discipline of training, and the adrenaline rush and exhilaration of running among a crowd. But right now, I don’t need another challenge.

What I need is to swing my pendulum from the “over achiever” side into the “easy come, easy go” side.

Then, and only then, will I learn how to settle somewhere in the middle, playing the ambitious role sometimes and the chilled out role other times.

I’m still committing to getting in better shape, that hasn’t changed. But instead of following a tough and disciplined training schedule right now, I’m going to focus on variety. On going outside if I hear my sneakers calling my name. Or hitting the gym if it’s raining and cold out. Or going for a lane swim, if I’m in the mood for a quick, all-over workout. Or, going to yoga whenever I’m craving more of a mind-body connection. I’m going to cut myself some slack and just go with the flow.

And since I’m already registered for the Bluenose Marathon, I’m going to drop down to running the 10km. It’s a totally achievable target that will still lead me to feel physically stronger and more alive than I do today. Now that sounds like a goal I can get behind!

Old Goal #2: Share my story with a group of women in my community.

New Goal #2: Draft a book proposal.

The rationale: This one’s pretty simple. First of all, I love the being an analyzing, instinct-embracing, ballsy woman. I love sharing optimistic perspectives, personal realizations and insights with others. Second, I dream of writing a book some day. I don’t have a solid idea, I don’t even have a first chapter. I have nothing but a wish and a prayer…and fear. Conclusion? Instead of waiting, I’m just going to start. A dear friend of mine sent me a book proposal template that has come highly recommended to her. I’m going to take it and see what I can come up with. I’m going to organize the thoughts floating around in my head into a first draft of a book proposal.

I have no idea what’s going to come out. It might be total crap. I don’t even know where I’m going to find the time or clarity of mind right now to do this. But I’m going to. Because it’s important to me. And it’s what my heart wants; even if it makes no logical sense.

I don’t have a formulated plan for building an Internet-famous blog, going on a speaking tour, and creating a tribe of followers. I had intended to come up with one, which is why writing a motivational speech of some sort in order to build some profile seemed like a good goal at first.

But, I’ve decided to say fuck it (as I often do). I’ve decided to rip the band-aid off and start writing. Maybe that proposal will go in a file never to be seen again. Maybe it’ll be so bad, all I’ll be able to do is laugh. Maybe it’ll turn into a free e-book I can give away. Maybe it’ll become a presentation I can deliver after all…some day, somewhere. Maybe I’ll be inspired to keep writing book proposal, after book proposal until years from now, something sticks. I don’t know.

But right now, something inside me says that trying is better than knowing. It also says that listening to yourself if better than telling yourself.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

{Photo credit}

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Comments (9)

9 Responses to “My goals, They’re a Changin’”

  • Beckles Says:
    April 13th, 2011 at 8:46 am

    I really love this post. I need to be more flexible in changing my goals as well. I know I'm stubborn, so I really need to work on that.

  • deebuzzing Says:
    April 13th, 2011 at 9:55 am

    YES YES YES YES YES. I was falling asleep last night thinking these *exact* same thoughts. I uncovered some lists of goals from four years ago, two years ago, and even last month that just didn't seem to fit anymore. Thanks for putting it into words- you're on my wavelength, as usual. :)

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    April 13th, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    Love this! As usual, I am right on board. I too have goals that have seemed to change from one moment to the next lately.

  • Juliana Says:
    April 14th, 2011 at 4:19 am

    Wooo! Book proposal! I love this new goal. :)

  • Big L Says:
    April 14th, 2011 at 8:07 am

    I know what you mean!

    Sometimes, when I'm being my toughest critic and being inflexible with myself I say "Does it REALLY matter, really? No one even cares but you. No one will even notice." It's a bit of a slap-myself-in-the-face approach, but a lot of the time, it works for me. For example, no one I really care about is going to judge me for not running that race next month. Running 10 kms is 10 more than most people are running, so I should enjoy and celebrate that, rather than beat myself up for it not being enough. You know?

  • Big L Says:
    April 14th, 2011 at 8:08 am

    Yes, I have ESP :)

  • Big L Says:
    April 14th, 2011 at 8:08 am

    We've just gotta learn how to roll with it, right? Then it'll be like a fun ride, instead of a scary one.

  • Jenny Blake Says:
    April 15th, 2011 at 7:32 am

    Book proposal FTW!!! My friend started writing her proposal without any outline, or even a solution to the book's problem! And it has all come to her through the process. I highly recommend Michael Larsen's How to Write a Book Proposal.

    You got this, girl!! Reach out any time if you have questions or if I can help be a motivator :D

  • Big L Says:
    April 16th, 2011 at 5:57 am

    Thanks so much Jenny! I'll check out that recommendation for sure and I'll definitely be in touch as I get going. I SO appreciate your encouragement :)

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