A Wedding Planning Confession

posted 18th May 2011    Written by: Laura    CATEGORY: Creativity, Events, Laura, Love/Relationships, Season 4

Confession: One of the most challenging parts of planning a wedding is having to talk about it all the time. Although Hunny would argue that I’m a chatterbox if he’s ever seen one, the truth is there’s WAY more content inside my head than what comes out of my mouth. I’m not used to dominating conversation, gushing about my ideas (at least, not at great length) or making a big deal out of things that feel rather small, in the grand scheme.

There’s several reasons why I was never really aching to get married and one of them is that I wasn’t keen on being at the centre of all that fuss. From the colour of the napkins to my shoes, from what Hunny is wearing to what drinks will be on the menu; all of these are things people want to talk about. This is new to me. Not for any real reason other than I’m used to being a little more private. I just don’t fancy my daily goings-on to be interesting enough to gab about them liberally.

And what’s funny is that I’ve created a bit of a catch-22 for myself. In trying to make every aspect of this journey as natural-to-us as possible, we are making some pretty unique choices and ignoring convention in a lot of ways. Well, guess what? This makes my loved ones even more interested in constant updates and show-and-tell – even though that’s the most unnatural part of this process for me.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a disappointment or annoyance; just an observation. A “Huh.”  kind of moment. Overall, I’m extremely grateful that the plans we’re making feel like really comfortable and genuine reflections of us, even if they spark a lot of questions and curiosity.

Like for starters, we’re planning an adult-only, night time event. That’s code for: we’re planning a party. A colourful, creatively-themed, sparkly, yet laid back party. Our ceremony is at 7:30 p.m., it wraps up with champagne toasts, and is followed by a “dessert hour” and then dancing. That’s because celebrating feels comfortable to us; speeches and hours-long meals do not. Also, we love dessert and I love dancing; they’re serious must-haves.

We’re striving to make our wedding an inclusive, rather than exclusive, experience. We’re doing our photos together before the ceremony so that once our guests arrive, we don’t have to go anywhere. In fact, we even plan to greet them, along with our parents. That way, every guest will see a familiar face as soon as they walk in the door. Especially at such a non-traditional event, making everyone feel immediately welcome is really important to me.

We aren’t having bridesmaids and groomsmen. Quite simply, I didn’t want to pressure of having to choose from among my several girlfriends who my “favourites” are, and more than that, we couldn’t get behind the layer of formality and exclusivity that a wedding party creates. It’s just not “us”, and I knew it would be a stress-inducer, rather than a stress-reliever.

My dress isn’t white. Instead, it’s a stunning palette of bright, playful colours, with enough white to give it a romantic feel. Most importantly, when my body gets zipped into that dress, magic happens. And to me, that’s all that matters. I feel comfortable, I feel beautiful, and I can hardly wait to wear it. I’m wearing flat sparkly shoes and “I’ll definitely wear this again” jewelry. I’ve already chosen them because I saw them and loved them; end of story. For me, it was that simple. My beauty on my wedding day is not going to be measured by the earrings I’m wearing. I intend to be glowing from the inside, so really, how can you go wrong accessorizing that?

In saying all of this, I realize one of the best parts of planning a wedding is getting to talk about and share a whole bunch of things that are a true reflection of me, without making any apologies for it. When I really think about it, I suppose I don’t do that enough.

 

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Comments (13)

13 Responses to “A Wedding Planning Confession”

  • liz Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 8:17 am

    wow what an amazing post. its like your reading my mind!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Sam Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 8:27 am

    I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm also not someone who is used to be the center of attention. In fact, I usually dread it. But, like you, I've embraced the idea in my own way and done everything I can to plan a wedding that is about me and my future husband. Ours will be a little more traditional than yours, but that's because it works for us. Your wedding is about the two of you and your love. Whatever reflects that the most and makes you happy is what you should do. Period. Congrats :)

  • Heather Rae Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    First, I totally get what you mean. I'm not used to be the center of attention either (except when I'm blogging, which is a strange departure from my usual nature). And second, your wedding sounds BRILLIANT. Beautiful and totally you. And that's exactly what it should be. :) Love that!

  • Katie Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    You should read the website http://offbeatbride.com/. It will make you feel so much better.

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    I agree! Plan the wedding you want and don't worry so much about what everyone else thinks about that. For me, I tried to plan my perfect wedding, but I fell a little short. Still, at the end of the day, all that matters is I found the person I love most in the world. So, its a bit difficult to admit that I have some regrets about how that day turned out.

  • Big L Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    I'm OK with ice cream and wine (as long as its sparkling) as coping mechanisms ;) But I'm sure you're right and it will be absolutely, completely worth it!

  • Big L Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    But of course….that's my specialty, didn't you know? ;)

  • Big L Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    Thanks for the encouragement Sam!

  • Big L Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    I know, isn't that funny about blogging? It's all me, me, me in that case, but in-person conversations feel totally different! Thanks for your kind words…I love it when you comment :)

  • Big L Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    Thanks for your honesty, Erin! I find it's so easy to get wrapped up in it. From the suggestions you receive, to the opinions you hear, to what magazines or TV shows suggest…I've definitely caught myself spending too much time thinking about certain things when either a) they don't matter to me, or b) I already know what I want to do! At the end of the day, you're right – it's the person you're marrying that's most important, not the details around the event!

  • Big L Says:
    May 18th, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Doing it totally your way is the best way! I find it's been so much more fun and enjoyable, I don't feel stifled or frustrated, just creative and excited! :)

  • Natalie Says:
    May 19th, 2011 at 3:57 am

    This sounds like it is going to be the wedding of the season! Completely personal and made for you (and your friends and family of course) weddings are such a great time to express your self I can see that your day will truely be a day made for you and your Hunny

  • Big L Says:
    May 19th, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    Aww, thanks Natalie. Your comment really made me smile! "The wedding of the season" …oh my! How special that sounds!!!

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