What Is Love?

posted 11th May 2011    Written by: Laura    CATEGORY: Laura, Love/Relationships, Season 4

I’ve been doing some thinking about love lately.

I’m in the midst of planning my wedding, first of all. But then, I’m also supporting a friend through a break up; the death of a love once cherished.

I’m one of the few people who didn’t set my alarm way early on April 29 to witness the most anticipated and obsessed-over wedding to happen in my lifetime. We all just celebrated Mother’s Day – in whatever way that looks like for us – the one day dedicated to the most primal kind of love there is: that between a mother and her offspring. And to top it off, I’m reading Brene Brown’s The Gift of Imperfection, a book about loving yourself (and therefore, others) with your whole heart.

Yes, there’s alotta fuss about love happening in my life these days. Embracing it, celebrating it, honouring it, resenting it, learning from it, discovering it.

Love is one of the most complex, magical, subjective, and indescribable human conditions. It has the potential to bring us the most joy and the most grief we will ever experience in our lives. It’s presence, or its absence, can leave us speechless.

What is love? What does it feel like, look like, sound like?

Tough questions, right? Here’s my take. I’d be honoured if you’d share yours.

“Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.”
- Gordon B Hinckley

Love is a verb, not an adjective. Love is being attentive. Love is listening and looking – into eyes, into souls, into possibilities, and into unspoken words. Love is choosing your battles. Love is having the clarity to decipher things that deserve discussion from those that ought to be brushed off. Love is forgiveness. Love is cutting yourself some slack. Love is having perspective. Love is looking inward. Love is taking care of yourself first, so you can better take care of others. Love is being, rather than striving. Love is trusting, rather than wondering.

“You may only be someone in the world, but to someone else, you may be the world.”
-Unknown

Love is cooking dinner, even if its only Kraft Dinner. Love is getting me a drink of water. Love is passing the Kleenex. Love is tucking me in at night. Love is a kiss on the forehead. Love is going to pharmacy, for something that will fix what ails me. Love is not taking it personal. Love is letting it go. Love is coming along to the vet, because going to the vet sucks the big one. Love is cleaning up the cat puke, this time. Love is middle-of-the-night cuddles. Love is offering suggestions, even when criticisms might be more obvious. Love is smiling or shutting up, even when scowling or scoffing are easy options.

“Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?”
- Cinderella

Love is seeing beauty over flaws. Love is celebrating the good and accepting the not-so-good. Love is allowing for differences. Love is finding comfort, even in the gray areas. Sometimes, love is biting your tongue. Other times, it’s speaking up and holding your ground. Love is compromising. Love is remembering. It is also forgetting. Love is commitment. It is also flexibility. Love is co-dependence. It is also independence. Love is about teaching some things, while learning others. Love is being vulnerable, rather than defensive.

“All you need is love.”
- John Lennon & Paul McCartney

Love is kindness, generosity, and compassion. Love is touch. Love is laughter. Love is admiration. Love is saying thank you. Love is asking for help. Love is dancing. Love is being silly. Love lacks judgment. Love is believing you’re worthy. Love is sharing. Love is small gestures. Love is a bouquet of flowers. Love is surprises. Love is humouring. Love is returning the favour. Love lacks ego. Love is respect. Love is worth making sacrifices for and investing in.

Love is whatever you need it to be. What is love for you?

{Photo credit}

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Comments (6)

6 Responses to “What Is Love?”

  • Jen Says:
    May 11th, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    This is such a beautiful post, Laura. I could totally see using this as a reading at your wedding, or even using parts for your vows! This describes everything love is, has been, and will mean for me.

  • Michelle Bizon Says:
    May 11th, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    Hi Laura! Beautiful post! What really struck me was your statement that, "Love is taking care of yourself first, so you can better take care of others." That, exactly, was my leadership goal for this school year. I've never even thought of it in the context of love, though. It's really making me take a new perspective toward it now. Thanks for the reflection!

  • Big L Says:
    May 12th, 2011 at 5:20 am

    Thanks Jen. I appreciate the comment :-)

  • Big L Says:
    May 12th, 2011 at 5:21 am

    Hi Michelle! Thank you! I'm glad so it resonated with you :-)

  • Angela C. Says:
    May 12th, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    I love this. Absolutely beautiful discription of love. I couldn't agree more that love is incredibly complex… full of layers and absolutely growing over time. I love my husband more today than I did on our wedding day because as time has gone on and we have experienced more and more life together, our love can't help but grow. Thanks for such a beautifully written description of love!

    Angela :) http://www.habitformingsuccess.com

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    May 17th, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    I agree that Love is definitely a verb and many different things depending on what you need it to be. Today, Love was carrying in all the groceries because I was sick and didn't feel up to it myself.

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