Gender Fears.

posted 22nd June 2011    Written by: Bri    CATEGORY: All Posts, Bri, Family

Today I find out if Baby A is a boy or a girl.

My life has never stood to be so drastically influenced by a single moment.  Boy or Girl.  This is it.

If it’s a boy, I will be excited about the dirt and football and bugs and mess.*  I can picture him getting super obsessed about something like cars or bugs or dinosaurs.  I hear that little boys love their mamas specially; my heart hurts thinking about it.  Our son will grow up learning from Mr. A what it means to be a man and I couldn’t have dreamed up a better teacher.  There are some truly great things about boys.

But, how do I make sure he is kind and good?  How will I know he won’t bully the gay kid at school to look cool in front of his friends?  What will I do to make sure he never takes advantage of a girl?  How do you make sure your kid doesn’t grow up to be a binge drinking meat hear misogynist?  Boys are kind of scary.

If it’s a girl, I will be stoked about the dresses and the tutus and the tea parties.  In my head we will be like Lorelai and Rory when she’s older, with a psychic connection and professional level banter.  I can hear my house being filled with girly giggling and sleepovers.  Most of all, I can see how she’ll love her Daddy and how he will be wrapped around her finger.  She will have a strong sense of self-worth because her Dad is going to show her just how much love and respect she deserves.  A little princess could be amazing.

But what about body image and raising a girl in this society that does everything it can to make women feel imperfect and less-than.  How will I make sure she’s feel comfortable in her own skin?  How can I guarantee that she won’t starve herself to achieve a wafer-thin frame that is just not in her genetic cards?  How do I make sure that she never feels the need to use her body to receive validation and love?

Excitement and anxiety?  Sounds like I’m a Mama already.

Bonus question: Do you think Baby A is a girl or a boy?!

*I have a Masters degree in the Sociology of Gender.  I am fully aware of the social construction of gender (Boy: sports and rough housing Vs. Girls: ballet and fairy tales), but let me tell you.. as my first baby is arriving and I know NOTHING about parenting I can’t help thinking in cliches.  Please keep the hate mail to a minimum. My daughter can LOVE sports and bugs and my son can LOVE babydolls and glitter.

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Comments (3)

3 Responses to “Gender Fears.”

  • amandafarough Says:
    June 23rd, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    All legit concerns, lovely. I shared in them when Mike and I found out what ZomBaby was going to be. Heck, I'm still going through this. Did I mention I'm ten days out now? JEEBUS.

  • Alisha Says:
    June 24th, 2011 at 4:45 am

    Very exciting! You will find that despite all of your expectations of how your children may behave, it's always a surprise. My son loves trains and cars but is more than willing to carry around my purse. My daughter jumps and crashes and plays trains and cars right alongside her brother. But she also likes to have a bow in her hair and carry a princess purse. They will just gravitate to whatever they like. No need to worry. As parents all we do is the best we can. Good luck and enjoy the moment :)

  • Lauriane Says:
    June 28th, 2011 at 6:47 am

    I'm thinking B.O.Y. !!! And I'm also thinking that you seem like such a good person that your kids will be raised to become great beings themselves and nice people. :)
    PS: what is it then??

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